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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Missed Missacriage

3 replies

Ummaisha · 07/08/2021 22:27

Hey, not sure where to start nor what to say.
On Monday at my 12 week scan we were told our baby didn't have a heartbeat and had stopped growing at 11 weeks, in the matter of minutes, my happiness fell to heartbreak, I was sent to anither department where we under went medical management to help pass baby, I say baby as to me that's excatly what it was my baby. On Wednesday morning I passed baby and seeing it broke my heart that bit more, I was distraught I sat on the toilet with my head spinning with questions, what did I do? It's my fault? Why did my baby not want to live? Why was this happening?
The questions where never ending, I'm now 3 days post missacriage and my heart is aching, I feel empty, lost, guilty, confused and a whole lot of sadness.

How do I deal with what I'm feeling, I've carried 4 babies and this baby just wasn't ment to join our family, I'm greatful for all I have but to lose a child is the qorst pain,

I've sat their and seen people say they've misscarried and I never fm thought it would be me feeling like that.

How do I move forward? How do I try to be happy?

OP posts:
TheDaydreamBelievers · 12/08/2021 22:54

It is awful. I have been there - loss discovered at 12 week scan and baby lived until 11 weeks. The main answer is time and treating yourself with kindness.

what did I do? It's my fault? Why did my baby not want to live? Why was this happening? it was nothing you did. Most miscarriages are because egg did not meet sperm quite right and the baby couldn't survive. Essentially bad luck. It doesnt make it easier but it is not your fault

Elouera · 12/08/2021 23:07

Sorry you are going through this OP. Its not your fault! Majority of MC and missed MC are random, genetic problems not consistent with life.

Am I correct that you have 3 other, live children or 3 other MC's? Its not clear. I've had 3 MC's also, 2 rounds of IVF and no cause for sub-fertility. I know it can be hard. I look at the positives. I live somewhere with modern medical facilities, wonderful and supportive DH, happy life etc.

Do you have supportive family/partner/friends to help OP. Sorry for your loss and sending virtual hugs Flowers

This link has a helpline and general info to help too xxx
www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/

Gumboots29 · 18/08/2021 19:48

I’m so sorry for your loss. I discovered my missed miscarriage yesterday. It’s such a cruel shock to find out at 12 weeks by which point you’re starting to feel like everything is likely to be ok.

I don’t know how to move forward either. I don’t think I’ve even accepted it yet and don’t feel like I will until it’s over.

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