Missed miscarriage wait

[Yutes]

I had a private scan on Wednesday, which showed no growth or heartbeat.
I am completely devastated.
But I need to wait til Monday for EPA to see me.

They said something about maybe needing to come back for a scan the following week, as that is their protocol. I honestly don’t know if I can wait in this emotional agony for another week. Does anyone know how likely this will be?

This is my first (very wanted) pregnancy. I was seen through assisted conception, so it’s with much trepidation that I need to re enter that line of treatment.
I’m just keen to move on and get to trying again. But I feel completely heartbroken

They usually need 2 scans a week apart to be sure there's no growth, rather than youve just got your dates wrong.

Unless it's IVF or something where you can be absolutely certain of dates, I don't think they'll do any management without a second scan.

The wait is the longest wait of your life. Sorry you're going through this

I find this really strange, when I’ve had two private scans. If that’s the way it needs to be, then I suppose I’ll just have to suck it up.

Hi,

So sorry to of your experience, hope you are all holding up as much as possible.

I am in the same boat too. Missed miscarriage diagnosed on Friday at my 12 week scan. Had an early private scan to settle my nerves at 8 weeks and all was great- heard heartbeat and baby measuring perfectly but turns out they stopped growing right around that time. Going back to EPU tomorrow (Monday) to decide on management and am absolutely terrified- I think the fear is actually out shadowing my grief at present. I have always had a huge fear of anything medical so even going into a hospital is massive for me. My gut feeling was medical management to avoid surgery but experiences I have read have been 99% awful and most people recommend d&c. Would love to hear more about your plans for management. Our stories sound very similar- this was our first baby after 3 years TTC and currently have so many friends/colleagues expecting which is just adding to the heartbreak.

Will be thinking of you. It’s great to have this forum to feel a little less alone

Sorry @mrsm44
It’s completely rotten. Its the fact that they said I might need to wait another week when I’ve already had the bad news. It’s torture. It’s the waiting.

@Yutes can’t believe they might make you wait another week. I really hope they come to sense and move things along for you in whichever way you wish at EPU tomorrow. There is surely no need for them to drag out the pain and suffering you’re already experiencing 😓

I’m so sorry for you @mrsm44
Hope over fear, girl.
I have no idea about what management will be offered/ to choose from.

Hi OP and @mrsm44,
I’m really sorry for both your losses and know exactly how you’re feeling. I conceived via IVF after suffering a late miscarriage last year and being unable to get pregnant since. I found out last Tuesday at an early scan that everything is measuring much smaller than they’d expect and although there’s a heartbeat, they weren’t hopeful at all. I’m back to the EPU on Tuesday. The waiting is the worst part I think, it just feels like I’m being tortured. I’m still having to take post IVF medication too which seems like an additional kick in the teeth.
I have no idea which method of management to choose either @mrsm44. I’ve been Googling frantically which hasn’t really helped.

@Yutes

I find this really strange, when I’ve had two private scans. If that’s the way it needs to be, then I suppose I’ll just have to suck it up.

Exactly the same happened with me. But the nhs hospital wanted two scans done by them.

The wait for awful

@Ticktock40 so sorry, that is heartbreaking. Cling on to that little bit of hope that your little one has a heartbeat until you know for sure the outcome ❤️ My appointment is tomorrow so will keep this thread updated about what management is offered. At present I’m swaying towards the medical option.

Thank you @Yutes

The hospital will want to do their own scan to confirm what the private one says. At that point it will probably depend how many weeks you are.
Some hospitals say if you are past 8 weeks and there is no heartbeat then it is definitely a miscarriage and will offer your options then.
If you are under 8 weeks you will need to go back a week later to see if there has been any growth, and then offer you options.
I've had 3 missed miscarriage and that's how my hospital always deal with it x

Very sorry your going through this.
I had a MMC after IVF and also had to wait a week for another scan, it's torture but protocol incase anything was to change.

I was offered;
Wait for natural MC
Medication
D&C

I opted for the D&C purely because I just needed it to be over with so I can focus on myself and healing.

I think I may opt for d&c, if given the choice. But I’m currently just terrified about tomorrow and seeing that awful scan again

Sending you strength and love op

@Yutes and @mrsm44 I’ll be thinking about you both today.

How’d you get on today @mrsm44

All went as expected for me.
I don’t need another scan next week, which I am incredibly relieved about. I opted for medical management instead, because there was a 3 week wait for local anaesthetic d&c.
But I think that was probably the best choice for me.
Hope everyone is doing ok.

@Yutes so relieved for you! That’s good news in an awful situation.

I went for medical management too. 4 tablets given orally at 11.15am (told to dissolve under tongue). Mild cramping started within 15 mins. Became pretty uncomfortable and started bleeding within the hour. I seem to be having a few hours of pretty intense pain followed by a bit of a break where I feel quite normal and during the break I pass most blood/clots- have had a few relatively big ones so far. Hoping this cycle doesn’t last too long but glad something is happening. The pain is not nice but so far manageable with paracetamol during the bad spells. Not sure how well I’ll cope during the night though- need my sleep!

I’ve felt surprisingly relieved/ok all day today. Think it’s instinct taking over the manage the pain, I’m sure the emotion will return. How are you feeling? Have you started your medication?

I’ve been really emotional today. Set off at the slightest thing. Adrenaline in overdrive.

For me it was one tablet today and a pessary in 48hours.

Lots of hugs and self care for you @mrsm44

@Yutes sounds like you’re at the stage I was yesterday/over the weekend. Hope you find some inner peace when the physical process begins for you. You will be in my thoughts, keep me updated with how you are

Hope you’re both doing ok.
I went for my scan today where l, as expected, they confirmed there was no heartbeat. I have opted for surgical management on Friday but I am scared to death. Just so ready for the waiting to be over.

I’m waiting to go in for monitoring with my medical management.
I agree @Ticktock40 I’m ready for the waiting to be over.

Take care

So so sorry to hear this, glad you don't have to go back again.

I have to go back on Friday after a scan last Monday to check there's definitely nothing left, rather than no growth (the pregnancy sac had gone when I had the first scan in EPU after natural MC).

I have been so shocked throughout this whole experience as to how women having a MC get treated. No consideration for the fact you're going through a loss, constantly separated due to Covid but in completely daft ways (DH made to wait in a corridor with no chair for 90 mins for our scan while I sat one room away), and not even given so much as a leaflet or a 'sorry'. Plus got a lovely reminder text for my 12 week scan yesterday from a no reply number with no way to cancel other than phoning a different number which no one ever answers.

When I feel a bit stronger I'd really like to do some work on this. Sending love to everyone on this thread for your losses xxx

@SunAndSea37 I’m so sorry for your loss and that your experience has been so negative- that’s the last thing you need at a time like this. I have to say I was surprised with just how wonderful everyone we have had contact with in our hospital have been (with the exception of 1 rude nurse who barked ‘what clinic are you for’ and when I said I’m not sure, didn’t know the name of it, she shouted ‘well are you pregnant?’). We have felt well supported and have been shown care, sympathy and compassion. My husband has been able to be with me at all times. We are in Northern Ireland and still have pretty strict Covid rules so I’ve been shocked but grateful that he has been allowed.

@Ticktock40 so sorry for your loss. Lots of positive experiences of surgical management out there, I completely understand your fear and you’re braver than me! All the best for your procedure, it’ll be over you before you know it and hopefully you’ll be able to physically heal quickly.

@Yutes hope your medical management is going well? I was back this morning for a review and I have passed the sac, pregnancy and all related tissue which I am so so thankful for. Have to go back next week to ensure my lining continues to go down- it’s currently 22mm and needs to be 15mm to be classed as a complete miscarriage apparently. They said it’s likely I will continue to pass it like a heavy period but if it doesn’t come away will be given more medication- hoping this won’t be necessary. I’m still in intermittent pain but it’s relatively manageable and feel relieved that it hopefully means the lining is coming away. We took what we thought was the sac containing the baby I had passed to the appointment today and they confirmed this was the case. We were provided with a little tiny coffin type box with a blanket etc to bury the baby or do as we see fit. Didn’t think I’d want to take it back but feels strangely comforting.

Sending lots of love and hugs to you all

@mrsm44 thank you so much. I think it's pot luck depending on the hospital - I was separated from my husband during the actual miscarriage in A&E too, whereas my friend who lives elsewhere was allowed to stay with hers and that was much earlier in the pandemic. I'm really glad the hospital have been nice to you though at such a horrible time (apart from the awful shouting person.)

This forum has been such a help in knowing you're not going through this alone xx

Hello,

I am so sorry for everyone going through this - past and present.

I was told on Monday that I was having a "missed miscarriage" during a scan appointment at the EPU. I had some bleeding and cramping around 6 weeks and was given a scan at 7 weeks to check everything was okay. It was during this appointment that I was told that I was expecting twins (likely identical) and my babies were in the correct position and measuring where they should be. I was asked to return in 2 weeks for a follow up scan to check what type of twin pregnancy I was having. As you can imagine , I was a mixture of shocked and delighted. But instantly feel in love with them both after seeing their little heartbeats .

Everything changed at my 2nd appointment. This was my husbands first opportunity to attend the scan due to Covid, but I could tell something was wrong straight away. The sonography eventually confirmed a missed miscarriage and I left completely devastated . A follow up appointment was arranged the next day and the doctor confirmed no development or heartbeat for either baby.

I have opted for surgical management as I don't think I have the strength to do this over a prolonged period of time. I feel stuck in limbo. Where my body still feels pregnant but I know I won't have a baby at the end.

I had never heard of a missed miscarriage before. In a way I wish it just happened without having to make choices and knowing that they are still there but I can't do anything to help them. The hospital offered me 2 little memory boxes gifted by SIMBA. I appreciate not everyone would want this but I found it a comfort knowing that people who have went through the same experience as you have taken time and effort to put these together with love and care. I have put my first scan pictures inside.

I'm terrified about the surgery and my mood varies between hurt, anger and acceptance. I am lucky to have a good support network around me but also thank you to everyone on Mumsnet for your support , thoughts and advice. ❤️

I'm very sorry @poppy101010

I had a D&C for the same reasons as you.
I just wanted to say the surgery went good and recovery was ok.

It was abit of a long day as my blood pressure was all over otherwise it was fine.

I was petrified of being put to sleep but do you know what that was the easiest bit. One big breath in and I was out.

I was abit tender for afew days but nothing paracetamol couldnt help and needed to wear pads. It took me a couple of days to feel some what normal as I felt abit groggy.

They signed me off work for 2 weeks after (I was planning on going in the next day 🙈 how wrong was I)

They leave you alone really and just come into the room when needed to check etc.
Take your charger/book etc.

I hope this helps put you at ease, I can answer any questions for you.