Another missed miscarriage

[Maxymoo1]

Hi everyone,

Mumsnet has always helped me in times like this, I'm looking for answers I know I can't really get and just a bit of support I suppose.

I'm currently going through a missed miscarriage, for anyone who doesn't know, this means that the pregnancy has stopped but your body hasn't realised yet and so you are left in this awful limbo, waiting for your body to kick in. This is my situation as I write this, waiting.

This pregnancy stopped at 8 weeks, we found out at our 10 week scan (we went a little earlier than 12 weeks as we were desperate to find out it all was ok following previous losses). My husband and I are obviously completely devastated.

In 2018 I had two miscarriages, one that happened naturally at 5 weeks, days after our positive test and another missed miscarriage with the same chain of events as this one.

I have my rainbow baby boy who is just over 2, he is incredible and such a comfort to me this time around.

I put my previous losses down to genetic reasons, the hospital said although the cause is unknown it's the most likely reason. They told me that the amount of jigsaw pieces that have to slot perfectly into place to make a healthy baby is so huge that it's a miracle any of us are here. But now I am going through this for the third time I find myself with lots of questions. I'm honestly scared as well. Scared of going through this again as last time was absolutely horrendous, like full on labour pain. Scared of getting pregnant again, scared of this happening again, scared of something happening further on in pregnancy, just scared.

I'm not like this as a person I'm very positive and my family say I've been dealing with it all so well and I'm strong but right now as this drags on and on Im starting to struggle with it.

Reaching out to anyone with any advice or words of wisdom

Thank you x

Sending you lots of love. I started mc on Sunday night. My first ever pregnancy, I was 10 weeks. I'm 31. I don't have any advice or words of wisdom but just reading your post made me feel less lonely so I wanted to reply, hoping my comment will comfort you! I think I am experiencing pains like labour but I don't know for sure. I hope this doesn't last too long, but I'm trying to be patient with my body.
So far I've found that showering and then lying down with a hot water bottle is the best thing I can do.

Hi there. Firstly im so sorry for your loss. I am day 6 following miscarriage at 8 weeks (no growth since 6 weeks) and i feel your pain. It was my first pregnancy and no one prepared me for the pain. Nothing like a heavy period at all, it was traumatic.
Mine too was a missed miscarriage, and the feeling of waiting is awful. I started bleeding naturally 2 days before i was going to get the tablets for a medicated MC.
All i can say is you're not alone, prepare lots of pain killers (co codamol if you can have it) hot water bottle, nice cold drinks and mentally prepare. Every MC is different so it may be as bad but it also may not be.
I too am 'strong' as people say but i feel deflated and thats okay. Have a cry, deal with it in your own way and try your best to look to the future.
We can do this, sending lots of love and luck

Oh also another thing to help with the pain, as hard as it seems walk around your house or garden when a 'contraction' comes on. Sounds ridiculous i know but it was the only thing that eased the pain a little bit until it went.

@hellointhere thank you for replying. I am so so sorry for you too. Your reply has also made me feel less lonely and it is a comfort, I feel strange saying that I feel lonely because I have family around me who are being great but it is a lonely experience isn't it?

As hard as this will be for you, and I know how you're feeling, please know that this is so common and no indication of how future pregnancies will be for you at all. After my second miscarriage I somehow felt really determined to keep going and 6 weeks later I was pregnant with my baby boy. I couldn't imagine life without him, he is my little miracle.

I've read that in 70% of cases it's genetic and there is nothing at all we could have done, I hope that helps you in some way.

Im here if you want to talk more to someone who's been through it 💐

@Maxymoo1 I know exactly how you are feeling. I started trying TTC is February this year and have so far had one miscarriage at 5.5 weeks which was over pretty quickly. I got pregnant straight after that and unfortunately had a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks. I had surgical management on 9th June and am only just getting a negative pregnancy test.

It's such a long and lonely process. I feel like I'm just miserable and angry all of the time. My best friend is also pregnant atm which isn't helping.

The fact that you have a child after going through what you have been through gives me hope that I might be able to carry a baby full term in the future. Just hoping we conceive as easily as the previous 2 times.

You sound like a really strong person and you will get through this. Unfortunately some of us have to go through these struggles but I hope we all get what we want eventually ❤️

Sending lots of love to all of you ❤️

I feel so strongly that I want to tell you all not to give up. I hope this makes you feel better and not worse, but my little boy is singing to nursery rhymes playing next to me whilst I reply. My husband wanted to keep trying after our second miscarriage and I was wondering about taking a bit of a break, I'm so glad I decided not to because he wouldn't be here.

We will all need to process this and deal with it in our own ways and take whatever time we need. Just don't give up.

@chasingrainbows1 your story is identical to mine, first one at 5 weeks, missed miscarriage at 9 weeks and pregnant with my baby boy 6 weeks later. I can tell you that no matter how hard the journey is, no matter how much you have to go through when you think you can't bear any more. It's completely worth it in the end.

Three miscarriages in a row is very rare, around 1-5% I think. This means your chances are high next time, stay positive 💐

Also I have no idea if I'm right or not on this but I can't not share it with you.

After our first two miscarriages the doctor recommended I take pre pregnancy vitamins. I bought Vitabiotics him & her conception vitamins.

Completely forgot about that until I was sat in EPAU last week and I saw a poster about taking folic acid pre conception. I read into it since and apparently taking pre pregnancy vitamins can prevent some serious conditions such as spina bifida which develop within the first 28 days of pregnancy (before a positive test).

All I know is I have taken these prior to one pregnancy and that was the only successful pregnancy so I'll start taking them again once this is all over

@Maxymoo1 thanks for your kind words and encouragement. I think I go through phases of being so negative about it all and then other times I feel positive that we will get what we want in the future. Just looking forward to a fresh start now.

Missed miscarriages are just awful aren't they. I'd rather just know than have to wait for a scan to find out. I found out at a private scan and I don't think I can go back there again next time. Will try and convince the EPU to give me reassurance scans.

I hope your mc doesn't continue too long and that you can draw a line under it soon. I think I'm just about there now that I finally have a negative. I like to think that everything happens for a reason and that's what keeps me going

Also, I can't not share this information with you all just incase it turns out to be really valuable.

After my second miscarriage the doctor advised I take pre conception vitamins so I bought Vitabiotics him & her conception. I completely forgot about this until I was sat in the epau last week and I saw a poster on the wall advertising the importance of taking folic acid pre conception.

I have since read into it and it turns out that taking pre pregnancy vitamins can prevent some serious conditions such as spina bifida which develop during the first 28 days of pregnancy so before you have even done a positive pregnancy test.

All I know is out of 4 pregnancies I took these supplements prior to one pregnancy and that was my little boy so once this is over I'm going to start taking them again

Hi everyone,

So sorry to hear all of your experiences, hope you are all holding up as much as possible…sending so much love to you all.

I am in the same boat too. Missed miscarriage diagnosed on Friday at my 12 week scan. Had an early private scan to settle my nerves at 8 weeks and all was great- heard heartbeat and baby measuring perfectly but turns out they stopped growing right around that time. Going back to EPU tomorrow to decide on management and am absolutely terrified- I think the fear is actually out shadowing my grief at present. I have always had a huge fear of anything medical so even going into a hospital is massive for me. My gut feeling was medical management to avoid surgery but experiences I have read have been 99% awful and most people recommend d&c. Would love to hear more about your plans/experiences/advice. This was our first baby after 3 years TTC and currently have so many friends/colleagues expecting which is just adding to the heartbreak.

Will be thinking of you all. It’s great to have this forum to feel a little less alone