High chance of miscarriage after IVF.

[Ticktock40]

Hi,

I wondered if anyone had been in a similar situation. I’ve recently had IVF for secondary infertility (I have a teenager and also had a late miscarriage last year at 17 weeks). Three weeks ago I got a positive test and was beyond happy. I could hardly believe my luck! Then I went for an early scan on Tuesday and was told that although they could see a fetal pole and heartbeat, everything looked very small and they believe that I will miscarry. I’ve got an appointment at the EPU again next Tuesday so they can rescan me and make a plan! I’m devastated. It just all feels so unfair. I don’t know how I’m going to get through the next few days/ weeks. The waiting is what’s killing me.
Any advice/ wise words would be so gratefully received.
Thanks in advance.

@Ticktock40 I'm really sorry you're in this position. I'm waiting to miscarry from IVF too. My 7 week scan last Thursday showed no heartbeat, measuring 5 weeks. The wait is truly awful. I hope you've got someone at home with you?

@CurbsideProphet I’m so sorry you’re going through this too. It’s just the worst. 💔
They said at the hospital that I’d probably miscarry before my next appointment (which is tomorrow) but I’ve not had any symptoms at all. I think the progesterone is masking it.
Have you got to go back this week too?

@Ticktock40 it's just heartbreaking. All of the injections and the trauma, the high of the positive pregnancy test, and then the agony of the scan at the clinic showing now viable pregnancy.

I would rather have had another negative pregnancy test 3 weeks ago than be going through this. I hope you're as ok as you can be. Do you have someone with you? My DH is working upstairs but will be able to take me back and forward to the hospital if needed. He's so sad too 😔

I had bloods and another scan done by gynae assessment on Friday and more bloods yesterday. They want to check HCG levels to rule out ectopic.

I stopped my progesterone on Friday morning so I've got bad cramps now but no bleeding.

Gynae assessment haven't been very helpful. They won't give me the info leaflet until the doctor reviews everything. I don't know how I'll get the leaflet as I live 35mins drive away.
No one would listen that my veins are terrible, so instead everyone had a turn before finally calling for an anaesthetist. My arms / hands / wrists are a mess 😔
The lab then forgot to analyse my blood last night so I have to call in 15 to see if the doctor has reviewed everything.
Honestly you couldn't make it up.

I've read though the practicalities of miscarriage thread on here which is so helpful. Have you seen it? I've bumped it so it should be close to the top 💐

Thank you @CurbsideProphet. I’ll have a look at that.

I’m lucky that my partner works from home usually although today and tomorrow (after the appointment) he’s got important meetings else where. I’m so frightened of actually miscarrying. When I had my son at 17 weeks there was no option but to go to hospital to be induced and then give birth. This all feels very different. Physical pain I can cope with, it’s the emotional stuff and the trauma that I’m struggling with.

I’m so sorry the gynae unit weren’t great. That’s the very basics that should be easy and I completely understand you wanting the leaflets now so you can get your head round it all. I actually found my hospital’s on line so might be worth a look.

Hope the doctors managed to review everything now.

@Ticktock40 I'm so sorry you've been through this before. I've had one (natural conception) v early loss and it was scary to go through at home even at that stage. I've also had an IVF failure earlier this year where the embryo didn't implant.

I've found the miscarriage association leaflet which gives all the info. I noticed hospitals have their leaflets online, I don't know why mine doesn't. I'm also very frightened 💐 I won't know what decision to make for the best.

Unfortunately no the doctor hasn't reviewed everything yet and might be too busy to do so today. I don't know how long I can go on knowing I have an empty pregnancy sac inside me. I'm sorry to be blunt 😔

@CurbsideProphet I’m so sorry the doctor hasn’t reviewed things. That’s completely unacceptable.
The waiting, the anticipation, the not knowing just makes this all so much worse. Can you ask DH to ring again on your behalf? It’s so hard to be bolshy when you feel so broken but you absolutely need to know.

I’m sorry you’ve been through this before too. I feel like I could sleep for eternity. The IVF process was tough enough, let alone having to go through this now too. People keep dating ‘at least you’ve got other embryos in the freezer’ but I can’t imagine ever putting myself through this again. Was yours a fresh or frozen transfer this time?

Sending you so much love.

@Ticktock40 they rang and said I have to go back for more bloods tomorrow late afternoon 😔 they put a doctor on to explain it and she said there must be 3 sets of bloods to check for a trend. Obviously they didn't tell me this on Friday.

This was a fresh transfer. We only have 1 frozen embryo. With our first ivf cycle we only had the 1 embryo. I'm already terrified that the frozen embryo either won't survive being thawed. I know what you mean about feeling you can never go through this again.

Same to you 💐

Hi @CurbsideProphet, how are you doing today?

I went back for my second scan this morning and as predicted, there was no heartbeat or further growth. The nurse was really kind and talked me through the different options. I have opted for surgical management on Friday mainly for the reason I just need it all to be over now. The waiting has been unbearable.
They will also refer me to the recurrent miscarriage clinic which is a good thing too I suppose.
I have stopped the progesterone and blood thinners so I’m just praying nothing happens before then.
Have you been back for more bloods?
Really hope you’re doing ok

I'm sorry @Ticktock40 💐💐
I'm glad you have been able to choose the right option for you. That nurse sounds very kind and thorough. I agree the wait is just awful.

IThe sister / charge nurse apologised for everything that has gone wrong in my care. I didn't even say anything, she just started apologising and asking how I felt. An anaesthetist then arrived to take my bloods. I had been prepared for another long wait so I was surprised by that. He looked at my bruises from the attempts on Friday and Sunday and tutted quite a lot.

On Sunday my HCG was at 7000 so if it's not gone below 5000 I'm at risk of ectopic 😔 The nurse explained all of this and told me the doctor should have been through this with me. I haven't even seen a doctor, just a v short phone conversation yesterday.

I've got to call at 9am. I don't want surgical as I don't want to be there without DH. After the past few days I wouldn't feel confident in them being kind, which is very sad.

@CurbsideProphet How are you getting on?

I’m just waiting for the days to pass really until tomorrow. I had my prop yesterday where the nurse told me id have to come in alone on Friday for the op. This hadn’t even occurred to me.
I cried pathetically and I think she felt sorry for me so has said she’ll do her best to get me a side room so DP can come too. I wish someone would’ve told me that on Tuesday as my decision would’ve been different for sure.

I’ve found all this so triggering and have spent much of the past week driving when I gave birth to my son at 7 weeks. I just feel so sad and hopeless.

Hope you’ve finally got some answers

*pre- op

• reliving

Sorry

@Ticktock40 I'll be thinking of you tomorrow 💐💐
I'm sure the nurses will be extra kind and attentive given the current situation.
I've also spent a week going back and forth to hospital. It's so upsetting isn't it when you just want to hibernate at home.

I had another scan and saw an absolutely lovely senior registrar (the Consultant got called away). She was so kind and mindful of how upset we are. It definitely wasn't ectopic as they could now see what they needed to see.

I opted for medical management as I can't cope with anymore invasive procedures (if it can be avoided) after all the IVF. I took the medication at the hospital and it has started 😔 I feel quite sick which is an extra layer of horrible. Hopefully that will go off overnight.

@CurbsideProphet How are you doing?

Yesterday was ok. I was scared to death going in and spent much of the day crying but everyone was so lovely to me and I was home by the early afternoon. I’ve had minimal bleeding which I’m so grateful for and just feel a bit groggy and generally done in. (Feel like I need a week spent lying on a beach!)
I’ve ordered some liquid iron as I look so ill but presume that’s just stress and anxiety! I feel numb now it’s all over, like I can’t quite believe it happened to us again.

Really hope you’re doing ok too. It’s just the worst time

Very sorry you’re going through this

I’m sorry.

I’ve been there a few times.

It’s shit

@Ticktock40
💐💖🍫☕
It's so sad. Heartbreaking. Definitely take time to rest. The IVF is such hard work and then the shock of the scan.

I keep saying to DH that I need to find the wormhole out of this sad world and into the happy alternate universe where I didn't miscarry in January 2020 and we never needed IVF.

I had to go back today for my 2nd dose of the medication. I'm trying to rest while I wait for it to work.

@CurbsideProphet How are you doing?

Hi @Ticktock40
I hope you're recovering ok?
Medical management didn't work fully, so I had surgery yesterday. I was so frightened (especially about the general anaesthetic) and very sad. Luckily they were able to put me in a side room, so DH could be with me (apart from when he wandered off to eat while I was nil by mouth!).
I was so tired when I finally got to bed at midnight but I couldn't sleep. My brain must be all awash with the drugs. Hopefully I'll sleep tonight 🤞🏻

Oh @CurbsideProphet, I’m so sorry that medical management didn’t work and you had to have surgery. What a crappy couple of weeks you’ve had.
Hopefully now the physical part is over, you can have some time to rest and recoup.
I’m doing ok, physically at least. I think my head is still trying to make sense of what has happened and I feel emotionally very up and down. I know it just takes time…it’s a case of holding on for dear life until I start to feel a bit better again.
I have a review with my consultant in a couple of weeks although I’m really not sure where I’ll be up to by then.
Sending you love.

You too @Ticktock40 💐💐