Dealing with it

[Purcie2224]

Hi, I lost my baby at 13.5 weeks in January.. I'd of been due now and everyone else who was due at the same time are now having their babies.
How do you stop it from hurting so much ?
I have 2 beautiful boys already and I'm more than grateful for them both.
We wished for a girl (although I know - especially now, that it doesn't matter) but I kinda new deep down that it was a baby girl I lost.
Either way, it's hard.. some days I'm coping some days I'm really not.
Social media doesn't help so I'm thinking of coming off it.
I know that time heals and it has helped a lot I feel better now than I did but I can't stop the pain.
We have decided to wait for now for another as my youngest is 3 and quite a handful, plus I struggle with anxiety etc just need to get back on track.
Is there anyone who knows of anything more that I can do to just cope with the loss, and what would have been etc?
Driving myself crazy

Hi there, i cant relate exactly but i have just had a confirmed miscarriage at around 14 weeks with my first, although baby stopped growing at 12.
Its really hard, i feel bad for being upset because i didnt know this baby, but i carried it for 12 weeks so who is to say i should not feel upset!
The only thing ive said to myself is 'this time, it just wasnt meant to be'
I am a believer in whats meant to be will be, and right now for whatever reason it just was not. So next time we get that positive, it will be the right time for us. Keep your head up and focus on your 2 boys, and your time will come for a little blessing in your family. Sending you lots of hope and luck

Bless you I'm so sorry to hear that. To be honest I don't think you can ever feel bad for feeling upset I believe you know and love the baby as soon as you find out it's just natural.. we are completely entitled to that it's just hard that it hurts so bad :(
You sound like me, 'it wasn't meant to be' is the only thing that's got me through the last 6 months I think, and the boys of course. It's all about changing focus I think.. many people have said it won't stop hurting until I'm holding a new baby of mine in my arms.. but I'm in no rush right now so that feeling is gonna have to wait!
I hope it goes well for you too.. sending hugs your way ! Xx

Hi OP & PP, I'm so sorry for your losses. I had an MMC at the end of June, I was 9 weeks so earlier than you both but I also have never felt such sadness. That baby was so loved and so wanted and the fact I'm grieving for something that I carried, albeit for a short time, makes this loss so hard. Do you know anyone in real life that has had a MC? I reached out to someone who I hadn't spoken to for a couple of years as she was the only one who was open about having had a MC and her support has been invaluable, she validated my feelings and made me feel like I wasn't going mad. I usually find talking about feelings hard but it has honestly helped me. Feel free to DM me if you like, I'm happy to share more with you 💐