Miscarriage - Twins

[carterteddy]

Hi There!
I'm new to all this but I need someone to talk too.
I had really irregular bleeding. For months. Constantly seeing my GP wondering what on earth was wrong with me!

11th July - I was told to do a pregnancy test so positive straight away! Confused as I'd been bleeding for months.
12th July - I was in so much pain, period like pains. Had a massive gush of blood and looked at my pad and there was a baby there. About 8/9 weeks. Was absolutely heartbroken and took myself to A&E as I was still in excruciating pain.
Then at A&E I miscarried ANOTHER baby, but this one was a lot bigger than the last one. About 15 weeks.
I am still so confused, shocked, upset and so much more. I only knew I was pregnant for a day then went through this traumatic experience. I am only 19.

It's weird, but I feel so guilty for being upset. I didn't know I was pregnant, therefore I feel as though I don't have the right to grieve/ be sad. I compare myself to other women who have had pregnancy loss/ miscarriages and convince myself I 'can't be upset' because people have had it worse.
But the truth is, this is the worst mental pain I've ever been in. I'm heartbroken beyond words could ever explain. I'm struggling so much, I cry myself to sleep/ hardly sleep at all. Can't even BARE to look at pregnancy posts, pictures of babies, clothes etc.
What also doesn't help is that most of my friends are pregnant, watching them have healthy pregnancies and talk about their babies really triggers me.
I'm so lost, I don't know what to do. Im only 19 so I can't try for another baby because I'm too young, but I genuinely feel like that's the only thing that would take this pain away.

Please can someone who's been through similar tell me that I will be ok, and please no hate/ negative comments, I've been through enough and I really need some support, Thankyou xx

Hi, so very sorry this happened to you x. Can you sit and talk to family about it maybe and try and filter your thoughts? It is so much to get your head around no wonder your so upset xx

Hi. I am in my 30s. I miscarried twins at the beginning of this year at 13 weeks. I then seemed to see pregnant people everywhere which was heartbreaking. I wanted to say to them,"Do you know how lucky you are?"

There were days when I would cry and didn't want to eat. I filled my life with other things like exercise, reading, talking with friends. I started doing ok.

I am now pregnant again (planned). Although I want this baby I assure you that the pain isn't taken away. I am an emotional wreck. The pain has flooded back and I think maybe I should have had some counselling before I got pregnant again. I sobbed through my 12 week scan because in my head that baby was doing the things my twins would have been. It was awful. I think about them a lot and when their due date was I will never forget that. Every day I am conflicted, partly excited but partly scared.

You will never forget them and I won't forget mine. Just take one day at a time and something positive for yourself each day i.e. go for a walk or sing out loud. Please think about talking to someone before you get pregnant again. I wish I had. It doesn't have to be a counsellor. A friend, godparent or relative? I think there are lots of support groups if you do an online search.xxx