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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

My detailed (TMI) natural miscarriage experience at 13 weeks pregnant (8w2d GA) for future googlers

24 replies

Curvykaty · 13/07/2021 17:44

I know how much these miscarriage threads kept me going in my darkest hours.... so i decided to document my natural miscarriage experience on here for anyone else that might be in my shoes in the near future. Some facts:

Gestation by LMP at time of miscarriage: 13 weeks

Actual size of fetus at demise : 8w 2d

I have one child and I have had another miscarriage at a similar gestation so I kind of knew what was coming.

I found out the bad news at my 12 week scan. This was a missed miscarriage because I still had really strong pregnancy symptoms up til the day before the scan and then i had some very light spotting. I assumed it was the placenta attaching or something. Getting the bad news just floored me because i had no other signs of fetal demise. I was given three leaflets for three treatment options and sent on my way. I feel i was just discarded to be honest. This happened last Friday 8/7.

All day friday i had light spotting. This spotting turned into very mucusy blood streaked discharge over the weekend. Someone on this forum suggested that it was maybe due to the drop in progesterone. The mucus just kept on coming. At this point i was contemplating a d&c because i just wanted to move on with my life. I was given a date for Friday 16th. I prayed that i would miscarry before then.

Come monday (yesterday), and i had stabbing pain in my breasts (similar to when milk comes down). There was some sort of hormonal shift and the mucus discharge stopped and turned into red bleeding. For the first time i actually stained my pad. I decided to walk around to get things going. All day i had stabbing pains in my cervix and then i passed a liver-like clot the size of a strawberry. From around 7pm my cramps increased and i took strong painkillers. The cramps were manageable til about midnight. Then, nothing i took even touched the pain.

I learned from my previous miscarriage that these final pains are expulsion pains. The pain will be almost continuous in the final stages til the fetus is expelled. This stage lasts around 60-90 mins. I found that it helped to squat or sit on the toilet as laying down was too painful. The pain for me was stabbing in the cervix with pressure. My very final pains were back to back and im not gonna lie - it made me cry. Then, at the peak of my final pain i decided to push. Around 10-20ml of water came out, followed by the fetus. The relief was instant and the cramps died down. Thankfully there was a lot of toilet paper in the loo so the fetus landed on that. I grabbed a specimen container and scooped the fetus into it. The fetus was the size of a large grape and had grey and red colouring to it. The fetal material looked solid. I felt relief but sadness.... i stayed on the toilet because i could feel more pressure building up. A lesser cramp was coming. I pushed again and a clot the size of my hand came out, followed by blood pouring out and loads of clots. The next 2 hours were spent on and off the loo because of this very heavy clotty bleeding. At 4am this slowed down and i only soiled one pad when i checked again at 8am.

I woke up with moderate cramps like period pains. Blood loss was minimal but i felt weak overall and my lower back was hurting. I have had cramps all day today but they are manageable.

Sorry if some of the stuff i have written is TMI but this could help someone in the future. Yes, it is painful but the pains are short lived (60-90 mins of very intense pains). I would say from the first moderate cramp and red bleeding to the final stage took around 6-8 hours.

Any questions, please ask

OP posts:
imaginethemdragons · 13/07/2021 17:52

It’s quite refreshing to see your honesty.
When people describe the pain as “similar to period pains” that may be how it is for some but not all.

Labour pains for 24 hours requiring gas & air and morphine with torrential bleeding was the norm for me. Even at 7,8,9,13 weeks, always the same for every miscarriage.

clopper · 13/07/2021 17:57

I have experienced similar and was shocked about how intense the pain was.

Curvykaty · 13/07/2021 18:31

Just to add - when I had my first miscarriage in 2014, i was at a similar gestation. Because i had no idea what to expect and how long to expect it for, i ended up in hospital needing pain relief. I think this time the only thing that prevented me from going into hospital was the knowledge that miscarriage pains are as painful as labour but the end stage is much much shorter. Thats probably why i was able to stay at home this time

OP posts:
Curvykaty · 13/07/2021 18:32

The literature the hospital dishes out should read “miscarriage STARTS OFF as period pains, building up into intense pain”

OP posts:
JulesRimetStillGleaming · 13/07/2021 18:41

When I had a miscarriage at only 5 weeks the pain was intense or an hour or two with contractions. Even that early it wasn't like a period.

Curvykaty · 13/07/2021 19:18

@JulesRimetStillGleaming

When I had a miscarriage at only 5 weeks the pain was intense or an hour or two with contractions. Even that early it wasn't like a period.
Yeah exactly. I don’t know why the hospital literature is so misleading
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howdaft · 13/07/2021 19:23

I recently had a miscarriage at 11 weeks. I had proper contractions for 5 hours - luckily a doctor had told me it probably wouldn't be like a period. In contrast I was in labour 3.5hours with a near 9lb baby.

Sorry for your loss op.

Curvykaty · 13/07/2021 20:01

Omg that sounds horrific. Im so sorry :(

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Khan2021 · 15/07/2021 13:17

So sorry for your loss OP, i can relate to the pain you are talking about.
I had a miscarriage at 11 week 3 days last month.....it was an inevitable miscarriage,my cervix was dialated, but prior to that I was having brown discharge since week 3 ,was taking medicine .
The day I misscarried I passed a large blood clot and having pain( later i got to know it was contraction). And before I passed my sack the pain was unbearable ,I screamed like crazy ,I knew I am losing my baby,then I passed a huge flesh like clot, after that my sack was out and my baby was floating inside it. After that the pain was gone temporarily but then I was rushed to the hospital and had to do a D&C.

Curvykaty · 15/07/2021 13:58

@Khan2021 i am sooo sorry for your loss. Its devastating both emotionally and physically. Its awful that you had to endure the physical pain and then have an op too. How are you coping?

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Curvykaty · 15/07/2021 14:00

I finally got seen by GAU today. The nurse scanned me and said that my endometrium is almost back to normal thickness and that I have passed everything.

I told her that I am getting awful night sweats. She said its because my estrogen is decreasing. This makes sense. Also I had a hormone crash yesterday and spent the whole day crying. I guess we will go thru the same motions as a woman who has had a livebirth because it is the same hormones that are circulating one day and decreasing the next

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Khan2021 · 15/07/2021 17:59

@Curvykaty to be honest , IT is hard, we were trying for past six years (unexplained infertility)and this was the first pregnancy. We were devastated,we still are. But I can't undo it, so we are thinking about future.
My husband is very supportive , but we are thinking TTC as soon as after my next AF.🙂🙂

Curvykaty · 15/07/2021 18:04

@Khan2021 go for it. I have heard that women are more fertile after a miscarriage. When did you miscarry?

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Khan2021 · 17/07/2021 10:14

@Curvykaty I misscarried on 15th June this year.
Yeah my obgyn told me so, she also said the sooner the better, she said I can try after I have my first period as long as we are ready. Now waiting for my period,I got my negative hcg after 17th day of post D&C. So hopefully my AF will arrive soon.🙂

Pesimistic · 20/07/2021 13:32

Very similar to my miscarrage, 10 weeks one case if barley their spotting then a week later minimal spotting that lasted all week untill I started bleeding at 11 weeks 5 days and having stretching pains in my cervix, bleeding was heavy filled pads in 5 mins phoned 111 and advised to go to hospital, it wasn't realy painful but it was very uncomfortable lots of pressure I couldn't sit still in the car, was constant pain/pressure, was left waiting and bleeding in a and e for 2 hours, other patients were concerned because of the amount of blood and how pale I was. Finally got into a triage nurse and they asked me where the blood was coming from Hmm sent to early pregnancy ward bit and put in room the dr said she could get the pregnancy out for me but I said no, I went to the toilet and felt a big clot come out, I instinctively fished it out and it was the sac, I wrapped it in tissue and put it in my bag. Buried it in a pot at home. Bleeding almost immediately stopped when pregnancy was out, start to finish about 6 hours. Got a negative test about three weeks later, that was probably the hardest thing seeing that negative test.

newomums · 21/07/2021 09:33

Thank you for being brave enough to share. Absolutely awful hospital leaflets completely undermine what it's actually like having this happen.

Unless you have been there people are like oh it's just a heavy period 🤯 and I suppose for some if it's early it maybe but it's never been the case for me.

Again thank you and I'm so sorry about your losses xxx

Nevergiveupx · 21/07/2021 12:15

@Curvykaty thanks for being so brave and sharing your story. I read it a couple of days ago and unfortunately I had miscarriage today.
However , your accurate and sad recount rang true better than any other website or nhs website.
It meant I was prepared when it happened. Though nothing can prepare for the emotional turmoil or the physical and visual “horror show”. I wasn’t blindsided.

Thank you so much.

May we all have our rainbow after our storm

Callisto1 · 28/07/2021 00:04

Thank you. It's stories like yours that prepared me for the reality of miscarriage. If I hadn't had read all the gory details and had experienced giving birth before I probably would have completely freaked out.

Khan2021 · 08/08/2021 08:04

@Pesimistic so sorry for your loss. It is very hard

bluegrass1 · 13/08/2021 17:04

Thank you for sharing this! I'm interested to hear about the level of pain you experienced because my miscarriage was really the worst pain I had ever felt, and in the literature it isn't described that way... I'm trying to work out if what I experienced was normal. I made a thread but I think the title of it has confused people. If it's ok I'll copy some of it here to add to the discussion and see if anyone else can identify with what I went through...

I recently miscarried at 12 weeks of pregnancy, however it looks like the baby actually died at about 7 weeks. After several days of bleeding but no cramping, I woke up one morning with cramps. They came and went like contractions, and got so bad I was screaming in pain and barely able to walk. I have never experienced any pain like it in my life. It got to the point that I lost sensation in parts of my body like my hands. I went into hospital (I had to crawl along a corridor to find the EPU until someone saw me and gave me a wheelchair).

The nurses said the reason I was in so much pain was because my uterus was trying to pass everything but my cervix was closed, so my uterus was just swelling up and up like a balloon with no release. They had to give me codeine just so I would become relaxed enough for the nurse to look into my cervix, because I was pushing the speculum out. Eventually my waters broke and I delivered everything, and the pain stopped immediately.

I've been looking for other stories about people's cervixes closing up causing their uterus to expand with no release, and leading to extreme pain, but I haven't been able to find any stories like this... have you ever heard of such a thing? Is this level of pain normal during miscarriage? I've seen videos of childbirth, but in none of them have I seen the woman scream or flail around like I was (and I am not a dramatic person as a rule!)

Bananarama37 · 15/08/2021 07:03

@Khan2021 so sorry you had to experience that...the same happened to me,11 week miscarriage due to dilated cervix. I've seen my perfect baby girl floating in a sac holding her on a piece of toilette paper🥺 this was IVF pregnancy after 3 years of unexplained secondary infertility and our 4th miscarriage. D&C done and pregnancy tissue examined- it washealthy baby but my body failed me.I fell pregnant TWICE since (miscarriage was March this year) and both times were chemical pregnancies... I am not really sure where I am going with this as I know its not very encouraging...sorry...I feel your painFlowers

Khan2021 · 20/08/2021 20:53

@Bananarama37 thinking about you.may the almighty give us healthy babies in future.
I was on progesterone supplements from 6 weeks. And had brown spotting.
But baby was healthy, everything was fine yet I am in that limbo again.
@bluegrass1 my pain was bad , I did throw up, and I can't remember the things I did but my husband said I screamed a lot

Curvykaty · 24/08/2021 00:56

UPDATE:

Sorry for going AWOL, ladies. I have been keeping myself busy. @bluegrass1 the level of pain was intense because the fetus was sitting on my cervix waiting to come out. I had to physically push when the pains reached peak levels. Yes the pain was very bad.

@Khan2021 i got my period on day 37. It was sooooooo heavy and kinda painful. I was told to expect a heavy first period after a miscarriage.

I have had a referral come through from the recurrent miscarriages clinic so hopefully i can get investigated.

How are you all? I went back to work too soon.... at the time of the miscarriage i was focused on the physical aspect more, but now the emotional side creeps in....

Lots of love and prayers to you all. I am gonna come back tmrw and try to reply to everyone individually xx

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Hopefooll · 15/04/2024 03:00

Thank you so much@Curvykaty. I am in the middle of a miscarriage and waiting for it all to happen and feel so anxious. And thanks everyone who shared. It really helps to know what to expect. Sending hugs to all you ladies who’ve had to experience this heartbreaking process of miscarriage. 💐

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