Five things I didn’t know about miscarriage until I experienced it

[Maddy456]

I’ve just experienced a miscarriage at six weeks. Never thought it would happen to me but there you go. It’s obviously playing on my mind a lot and I’m finding it hard to talk to anybody but my husband, so just wanted to share some thoughts in case it helps anybody else that is going through this:

1. The miscarriage process takes a long time! My miscarriage started on Monday and I’m still waiting for final confirmation from the hospital today on my bloods. I had all the symptoms of a miscarriage on Monday but I was still in denial it was happening, even after they scanned me and didn’t see a sac I thought the dates could still be wrong. The low HcG level in my bloods (100) is what made me finally accept that it was happening. Im also still bleeding five days in, apparently this could continue for weeks yet!

2. It’s hard not blame yourself for it happening. I know deep down there was nothing I could have done but it doesn’t stop me going over and over the small things - picking my toddler up, tight skinny jeans, eating salty chips! I’m not trying not to let myself dwell on those things too much, it’s not good for me and is ultimately pointless.

3. It’s a lonely process. My husband is amazing and I know he is sad as well. But I think he accepted the outcome as soon as the scan showed there was no sac. I am still bleeding and have some remnants of morning sickness as a cruel reminder. I don’t want to speak to anybody else about it, it’s too upsetting.

4. Accepting that the future plans you had have just gone away. I know I was early at six weeks but that didn’t stop me calculating due dates and starting to make plans around that. Getting excited about a sibling for my little boy. It’s hard to accept that has all just gone now, completely disappeared.

5. You are more fertile after a miscarriage. A study showed that 70% of women who had a miscarriage got pregnant again within three months, this compares to 50% of women that tried between 3-6 months. A ray of hope there for me, my husband and I plan to try again as soon as we can. But I know that’s not for everybody.

Actually I would like to add a sixth one as well….the more I have read about miscarriages the last few days I have realised what some women go through to conceive. In some cases years of trying and multiple miscarriages. These women are absolute warriors and the amount of strength and determination is unreal.

Anyway, these are my thoughts! I’ve been mulling over this a lot so it’s quite cathartic to write it all down in one place.

Good luck to everybody! Life is beautiful and we are strong and we can get through this! X x x x

Sitting up at 2AM reading this thread gives me some kind of comfort knowing I’m not alone.

To every lady on this thread - I’m so sorry for your losses and I couldn’t think of a better word myself to sum you all up than warriors!!

TTC baby number 1. 27 years of age, partner is 32.

Had a full Fertility MOT and was told I had the perfect everything in order to naturally conceive.

What they didn’t say was you’d suffer 2 chemical pregnancies in a row with no explanation as to why other than it’s out of my control and it happens.

I lay awake every night sobbing because I just can’t understand why my body is failing me. I do blame myself and I know it’s not me deep down but I sit here and wonder am I too overweight, is my diet not good enough, maybe I’m doing something that’s made this happen 2 times in a row.

I think I envisioned this fairytale journey with no struggle to conceive and what a reality check I’ve had.

I’m trying to stay positive and no loose faith but it’s incredibly hard and mentally I worry I’m not strong enough to handle anymore losses.

Thank you for listening to me and thank you for sharing your stories, these threads I really don’t know what I’d do without them as it doesn’t seem to be something talked about enough. Xx

So sorry for everyone's losses. Can I add that before my first miscarriage I never realised missed miscarriages were a thing. I thought that if you get to 10 weeks pregnant with no bleeding you are probably ok and if you get to 12 weeks with no bleeding you are safe.

Also there can be a lot of blood, and it can hurt a lot. The hospital have me a leaflet that told me to expect something similar to a period but a bit heavier and more painful. Nobody told me I could get proper contractions and pass clots the size of my fist. I thought my womb had fallen out!

Also I thought that having another baby would fix things. It didn't and while I adore my 2 pregnancy after loss babies, I will always miss those 2 little ones who didn't make it.