Over-emotional or were they insensitive?

[Ter2021]

On Monday I found out that we lost our baby and had the surgical procedure. Everything is still very raw and I’m struggling emotionally.
So I have been getting pains since the procedure so after calling the hospital yesterday they made a appointment for me to have a scan and see the dr today.
I attended the hospital to be put in the waiting room with lots of happy mother’s to be whilst waiting 40mins to be seen. My DH noticed my struggle and spoke to a nurse who then took us to a separate room and scanned me soon after.
Today has been emotional. I saw pregnant women outside the hospital smoking and I just think- why me? I know these things just happen without any cause or reason but I can’t help but take it personally 🤷🏻‍♀️ How can I deal with these emotions?

I’m sorry. It gets easier. It really does. For now just grieve. You’re allowed to feel sad and angry.

After I was told my DS would be stillborn I needed to see a fetal medicine specialist at St Thomas. I waited alongside a woman who was clearly off her face who said something along the lines of “I spose a posh woman like you is really looking forward to your baby. I don’t even want this one”.

Oh the rage!

Now I just look back with as much sadness for her and her baby as I felt for me and my baby at that time.

@PegasusReturns oh my goodness 😔 some people really can be so insensitive 😢
I’m sorry you had to go through that x

Thank you, I hear time is a healer so I just need to allow myself time to grieve and heal x x

Good people suffer miscarriages and infertility and "bad" people can have baby after baby. It's not personal and doesn't do your mental health any good by comparing why some people have babies so easily while others struggle. I can completely understand your feelings and life isn't fair sometimes. It's not fair and it sucks.

The hospital with my first MMC treated me terribly. Basically told me I was having a miscarriage and sat me in a waiting room with other mums waiting for the usual 12/20 week scans then told me to go home without seeing me and with no care.

With my next pregnancy (which ended in MMC) I went to a different hospital who could not have been better. I've had regular calls and check ins to see how I am and I have been treated really well.

I think it depends on the hospital and I guess how well staffed/funded they are. In general there needs to be better MC services all round.

I spoke to Tommy's and the miscarriage association who have been brilliant, perhaps you would like to speak to them too.

It's not personal although I know it feels like it. Take care of yourself, and your partner and in time things get easier, I promise it does

@czycoup Thank you I will definitely look at talking to Tommy’s and the miscarriage association x x