TFMR pateus

[mrsawhite]

Had a horrible feeling for a few days I would be writing this post. Had the devastating news this morning our baby has Pataus. So we sadly have to have a tfmr. I will be about 15 weeks. I am so frightened of going through it. I had a MMC at 12 weeks last year. And that was bad enough. Though that was at home and don't think I took paracetamol early enough to get on top of things. Would anybody be willing to share their experiences? Thank you

Hi,

I lost my baby to Patau's last year in June a TFMR at 14 weeks. We had fluid at the 12 week scan with a NT of 5.1mm and then CVS confirmed T13.

I also had a missed miscarriage with my second pregnancy just over a month ago.

I am firstly so so sorry for your loss. I am based in the UK but was thinking about everything and came across this ( my second loss has triggered the grief from the first one)

My TFMR was my first experience of pregnancy , I had a medical I believe it is similar to that of management of miscarriage although I chose surgical second time round.

For me I was on a ward ( I got given pills 2 days earlier) then had a pessary on the day I think, I had some pain and wish I had taken painkillers earlier , I didnt start contractions till about 6 hrs later and they did get very painful, but I think with better pain management could be avoided, I ahd gas and air , and a shot of pethidine don't be afraid to take it.
It was a hard day but the nurses were lovely and I got though it I did get to see the baby too, but made this decision last minute and only very briefly , it was nice to see him,

I do think it is such a hard thing to go through and found the decision tough but know that I saved my baby from pain,

If you want to chat more feel free to message me,

Its quite a long journey but I am doing okay ,

Give yourself lots of time and remember how strong you are just to reaching out

sending a big hug xxx

In addition to above. I definitely recommending contacting ARC . Antenatal Results and Choices, they have an email or helpline and a closed forum as well. They are very supportive and there for you if you need. Thinking of you ! you will get through it okay its not nice of course but the nurses are very kind and support you, .

Thank you so much for your reply. I had a lovely email from a lady at arc last week. Yes I've been told the key is apparently to get ahead of the pain and take whatever is offered. Booked in to start things off next week.

Going in for tablets today. And suddenly feel really worried about it all. Even though this happened last year. Albeit at home. I'm worried about how I will avoid seeing the baby once it has passed. Sounds awful. But I just don't think I can. And pain relief wise. I'm now more worried about the fact you get offered very strong painkillers. Eugh what a horrible few days

Hey I think its very natural to be worried but there is people there to ask and my nurse was so so lovely. Also I was very scared to see the baby. I did not look at all and just got nurses to check each time.
However right at the end I chose to see him but only for a few seconds and he was brought to me cleaned up in a blanket, I caught a glance and that was it I was too scared to touch but it was nicer than. I thought. . You don't have to see the baby, do what's right for you. Nurses took foot print and hand prints that could be an option but again it's deeply
personal.

Pain relief is also personal completely I didn't get any side effects, you may be more prepared having had a miscarriage prior as I have been told the pain is similar.

Again nurses will support you if they weren't there I just rang and they came straight away my husband supported me too.

Anyway I will be thinking of you.
I did get a sense of peace and relief when it was over. All the decision making is over after that day.

Sorry if that was unhelpful. I guess everyone experience is so different so no right way xx

I terminated my 17 week pregnancy at a London clinic due to a similar chromosome disorder that would certainly lead to the child’s death either during the pregnancy or soon after they were born. I fought to have a surgical procedure and whilst it was a crappy time in my life I feel it was better for my mental health than the alternative.

I’m so sorry you are going through similar 😔

They don't do surgical where we are past 13 weeks or something. ☹️

Sorry for your loss. Best wishes for today and the days ahead xx

Thank you. Trying to keep busy today. I'm hoping the pain relief we talked about will do the job. I don't really fancy really strong stuff like morphine!

@mrsawhite

They don't do surgical where we are past 13 weeks or something. ☹️

I had to push for it and they eventually reverted me to BPAS.

*referred

Hey hope your doing okay? X