Seeing baby after tfmr

[Strawberry1234]

Hi everyone, sadly I had to have a medical termination on Sunday due to the baby having patau syndrome. It has been so heartbreaking. He was only 14 weeks.

I’m now torn, I saw his little tiny hands as I thought that’s all that I could bear to see and I completely broke down. But now I feel like I should have seen more of him. I’m afraid of what I’ll see but I don’t think I’ll have closure unless I see him. My partner was happy just being in his presence but for me it doesn’t seem enough.

Has anyone else seen their baby that early on? How did you feel? We’re you glad you did?

Any advice and support is so appreciated.

Thank you

So sorry for your loss. Are you able to see him if you wanted to?
At 14 weeks they are very tiny.

Sorry, I don't have any advice, but sending you all my love

I had medical management and my baby stopped growing at 11 weeks. I saw the baby and it was obviously a baby even then.

I regret not taking more time with it and even wish I had took a picture. If you have the option to see it, then I would say do it?

My concern would be how long has it been and how much of an effect it would have had on what it looks like.

Hi @Strawberry1234

I had a TFMR at 21 weeks due to Edwards syndrome. At first I didn’t think I would want to see baby but in the end I’m so glad I did. I can’t speak for your gestation as I’m sure he was quite a bit smaller, but it wasn’t scary at all and I thought it would be. I took pictures of baby and look at them every day and they give me great comfort ❤️

He was born on Sunday so been a few days now. I think I’ve decided, he’s being preserved at the hospital and they have said I can see him at any time. Thanks for your help ladies, it really has helped.

I think I just needed more time to process it all before I made that decision. It’s so much to take in at first xx