2 MC, 1 Ectopic and now 1 tube. Please help!

[Louise276]

Hey all.

Really looking for some advice/positive stores of what we do next. Currently recovering from having my right tube removed via operation 12/05 at 7 weeks pregnant. I know I need time to process and recover but cannot help but think about what we do next.

My story -

I am shortly 32, DH just turned 32. I had a MMC in May 2020 at 9 weeks after seeing HB at 6.5 weeks and a very early loss in November 2020 at 5.5 weeks. After this loss we went private for tests with Prof Regan and whilst most were clear, I have a raised blood clotting amplitude and was prescribed 150mg of asprin daily for my next pregnancy.

Found out I was pregnant again in mid-April. Started very light spotting at 5 weeks - had a scan and sonographer thought they saw a gestational sac but was diagnosed as pregnancy in unknown location. HCG was rising but not as fast as it should be - went back for a 2 weeks later and they found a live ectopic with a hb in my right tube measuring only a couple of days behind my dates.

I don't really know what I am asking here - but any tips/positive stories would be most appreciated. I feel at a loss and would really love some words of wisdom to help me.

The only small benefit I can see is me and my husband are clearly fertile with it taking on average 3 months to conceive - and that my left ovary is my dominant one (right tube removed) - I have got confirmation that 2/3 of my pregnancies have been from my left ovary (also get on pain only from that side during ovulation).

We sadly will never know whether my third pregnancy was chromosomally ok but I know I need to separate my previous MCs from this ectopic and hold onto the fact that if the baby was in the right place - it may have been ok.

I think we need to probably just try again but I am considering looking into having my remaining tube checked out. I know IVF could be an option if we do now have trouble conceiving but I presume we would have to try for at least a year before that could be considered under the NHS.

There are also additional recurrent MC tests we could have (mainly the NK cells) - but I think as I have not had a third MC but an ectopic - it may be stupid to jump the gun with those tests without having another MC.

Thank you for any advice in advance!

Xx

I am so sorry about your multiple losses. It really is hard and I don't have any words of wisdom to make you feel better but thought I'd share my experience after ectopic. It was my first pregnancy and my right tube got removed, however my right ovary is dominant so I thought to myself well now we literally have no chance. Guess what-I fell pregnant straight after, ovulated from my right ovary! I now have my beautiful 5 y old dayghter. After that I fell pregnant two more times ( again right ovary!) and once via IVF, all ended up as MC. But the point is your chances are still very good even with one tube. Do you know if they checked your remaining tube when you had your surgery?

@Doremifasol thank you so much for replying! I was at such a loss when nobody came back to me.

Your story really has given me a bit of hope. Congratulations on your daughter!

May I ask how long you decided to wait before you tried again? Are there anything you would recommend to get over the trauma side of things. At the moment I am just trying to be kind to myself - eating chocolate when I want and not putting too much pressure on myself. We also have lots of plans in the diary and things are looking hopeful that I will be able to go to Cornwall for a few days on Saturday.

I had been told we can try again when I feel physically and emotionally ready. The more I recover - the more I just want to try again now.

So during surgery they checked both ovaries and my remaining left tube and they confirmed they all looked good. However - I have been advised that doesn't show ether my remaining tube is functional. I am still a bit concerned that I ovulated on the left and the right tube picked it up - but I think it most likely just a fluke and that prior to this my left tube was functional.

I am considering having my remaining tube checked - but again, I am aware that this will only check whether it is clear - abs not whether it is functional.

Thank you again for replying! I really do appreciate it!

Xx

I am so sorry for your losses.
I lost my left tube in December 2016 after also having 3 miscarriages, I have since gone on to have 2 more children and i am currently pregnant again, all 3 times the eggs have being released from my left ovary x

@Louise276 we didn't wait at all, it was the first cycle after ectopic ans still can't quite believe how lucky we were.
In terms of coping with loss... I think you need to put your needs first and live through your emotions... what you are going through is traumatic on many levels- you've lost a baby and your life was in danger, you've been through surgery... ah I could cry now😥 I'm probably not in the best place to give advice, I just got my first period after 10 week pregnancy loss in March. To start with I did eat a lot of cra* thinking well whatever its all just rubbish so why not... then I tried exercising and it makes wonders for my mental health so I am sticking to it... and for beach body in few months😂
It gets easier with time, it really does... thinking of you and please ask whatever you want to know... ❤️

@xxmyheartxx I am sorry for your losses and congratulations for your current pregnancy. It really does help me to hear positive stories. How did you remain positive and approach trying again after your MCs and ectopic?

@Doremifasol oh I am sorry that you had a MC so recently! I think your doing fantastically all things considered.

I disagree - I think your advice is spot on. I am trying to do that, ride through the emotions, if I am sad, I am trying to let myself cry. Am also looking at getting some therapy, private if need be.

I am going to try and use my job as a distraction so will be throwing myself into it once I go back to work.

I am probably similar to you - exercise does wonders for my mental health. I lost a stone early this year from doing the Coach 2 5K app. I am still enjoying my cake and my chocolate but that will end at the end of next week after our holiday. I get the go ahead to exercise again I will be starting again from week 1 to build myself up again.

As the days go on, I am tempted to try again this month. Not sure what my husbands view is - he is still reluctant to talk about it but we will see. I know they say to have a break until you feel mentally ready but I don't see how waiting a month or 2 is going to make much difference in how I cope with what has happened.

Thank you again for all of your advice! It means so much to me, honestly, it really does. Xx