Medical Management v Surgery

[Goldilocks2528]

Hi ladies

This morning a scan at EPU confirmed our fears, our little ones heartbeat has stopped. We are devastated, we really thought we had been lucky.

I know I don’t want to go down the natural route. I don’t want to wait weeks I want it over with so we can have another cycle of IVF as soon as possible and try again, but I don’t know what to choose between the other two options.

Both have risks and are scary. Medical management is 1 tablet at hospital then the rest at home. Risk is bleeding heavily and having to have a transfusion, plus the pain and seeing what you pass and then surgery if it doesn’t all pass. Surgery is done under general or local anaesthetic. I had egg collection under local and whilst it was manageable I could hear everything. I don’t think I could cope with hearing them whilst they did that to me. Have never had a general and that really scares me, other half very against it because of the increased risks. They also said they do it “blind” (not under ultrasound) and there’s a risk they can damage your womb or bowl and if they do open surgery is required.

Can I please ask for your experiences of both? I said I would call them back later today with a decision and neither of us know what to do having never experienced this before. I’m finding it overwhelming and very scary.

Thanks for your help, and I am so sorry so many of us have been forced to go through this. It is truly horrific.

I had surgery at 13 weeks under GA (baby died at 11 weeks). Obviously the loss was awful but the surgery was v straightforward, pain free, complication free. Professionals very kind

I had methotrexate with my loss last summer. It was fine. I was quite sleepy for the first two days but bleeding started quickly, then stopped soon after. I was back at work a week later and just needed to go for check ups. No other side effects.

At the moment, I am two days post-OP due to my current loss. The pain is ok, I just need to remember to move around and take my normal painkillers every so often. I'm fine walking, even if I'm still quite slow. I should be back at work by next Thursday. However, I had both a D&C and a laparoscopy to remove one of my tubes. If they are only doing a D&C, it's probably more straightforward. I've had two laparoscopies before and I'm usually ok after. The GA scares me every time and makes me panic but it's actually not that bad. You just breathe in one moment and wake up at the other end the next. It's really odd but generally ok.

With both choices, I've been told to wait at least three months to ttc again.

I'm very prone to having ectopic pregnancies and this was the fourth one. I hope the removal of my very mangled tube will help with conception and that the other one will now spring into action. We are booked in for an ivf appointment as well, though.

Good luck with everything, whatever route you choose. And sorry for your loss. It really sucks.

How far along were you? That makes a difference. I had medical management in March but I opted to have it in hospital. I was 9+3. It was honestly fine. Bleeding was fine, although I am used to very heavy periods, and nurses on hand to check everything. I would chose this method again if I had to.
I'm assuming you're early since they are suggesting sending you home but you could ask to stay in hospital.
I also had a natural Miscarriage at 6 weeks and I didn't even notice when I passed so you might not see anything you don't want to depending on how far along you are.