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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

its been eight years since i had my miscarriage feel very overwrought

6 replies

dressedupnowheretogotilxmas · 14/11/2007 23:43

hi

its been eight years on the twentieth of november. i didn't know i was pregnant when i lost the baby i was too silly and immature too realise at the time and it was definatley for the best for the stage of life i was at [ read nearly 18 and drinking heavily clubbing 5x a week living at home]

i didnt even clock the date last year when my baby was born and it felt very much like it was a first for everything last year iyswim

i just cant get it off my mind at the mo i feel as if im greiving something which i didnt know or feel iyswim and it really feels like all of a sudden its hitting home

anyone else been there or got any idea how i can move on

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Shitemum · 14/11/2007 23:48

i havent been there but im sorry and it sounds like you feel guilty because you 'didnt know or feel' at the time. Now that you have had another baby maybe you realise what you lost. I dont know how you can move on, maybe write a letter to your lost baby and do a little private ceremony where you throw the letter into the sea or a fast flowing river from a bridge or into a bonfire so you can release your feelings IYSWIM

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gigglewitch · 15/11/2007 00:04

i've been there too. had m/c at 18 - a very long time ago. having my first two children - both boys, bothered me a bit because in some ways you only realise what you are missing when you have DC. I have been affected more than i could ever have believed by the arrival of DD, and i realised several months after she was born that it was because she is a girl, and so was the baby that i lost all those years before.
don't really know how to help, but please just keep talking

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dressedupnowheretogotilxmas · 15/11/2007 08:31

thank you girlys

i appreciate it

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gigglewitch · 15/11/2007 23:32

how are u doing dressedup?

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dressedupnowheretogotilxmas · 18/11/2007 19:56

im still strggling today but my hubby has been very understanding

its jst strange how i feel this huge loss after all these years

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lulumama · 18/11/2007 19:58

you need to acknoweledge your pain, and grieve. maybe do something to mark your baby.. plant a tree or a rosebush , something like that

it is ok to feel like this and you don;t need to try to hurry through the process

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