Missed Miscarriage & Work

[TheCraicDealer]

We found out I was pregnant a few weeks ago with no.2. But of a shock but we came round to the idea pretty quickly.

I booked a NIPT test with scan through a private provider. Unfortunately during the scan this weekend it became clear even to me that there was no heartbeat and baby had stopped developing at 7.5w.

I called the EPU and explained the situation and they gave me an appointment for Friday. I called them again yesterday and they've bumped me up to today, thankfully.

Basically the baby passed 3w ago and I'm still showing no physical symptoms. EPU are telling me the findings within the private scan won't be considered and I'll need to see them twice before I'm given any medication to speed things up.

I'm signed off at the moment and work have been understanding- I tried to work on Monday but my head wasn't in the game. I'm so anxious about having to take more than two weeks off. I'm worried about burning through any goodwill they have before I even show physical symptoms. Work are good with MH stuff and my anxiety is probably unfounded, but I keep worrying about looking like I'm taking the piss.

Have any of you have a similar situation? I feel like I've been left to it by the NHS, even getting an appointment date nearly a week after I contacted the EPU just seems ridiculous.

I am sorry for your loss

I have recently just had a miscarriage, and similarly to you, the EPU I visited for a scan from referral from the doctors had stated the embryo was measuring 6 weeks (should have been 9-10 weeks). I knew there was no possibility that I could only be 6 weeks pregnant, however that wasn’t enough for them and they booked me in another scan in 9 days time from that original scan. I had already started spotting, hence the scan, so I knew what was about to happen, but the EPU acted very distant and couldn’t confirm or deny whether I was going to miscarry and just told me to wait it out. I am still in between those two scans but have fully miscarried now and my pregnancy tests are getting fainter, so have felt very alone. I also felt like during and prior to the scan, I was trying to discuss that I had had bleeding and was worried but that was not taken into consideration, it was all very blunt. I also understand it’s unbelievably common, therefore they don’t have the capabilities to invest a lot of time for these, but I feel there is a gap when you are

I unfortunately had three missed miscarriages.
The first two I was told that although the baby was much too small and there was no heartbeat that they wouldn't do anything until I had further scans. I had 3 the first time and 2 the second. It really dragged things out.
With the third they actually told me that as I was past 8 weeks and the baby was over a certain size with no heartbeat they could diagnose miscarriage straight away.
I actually found the staff at my epu lovely which helped but was still awful to go through.
I didn't bleed at all or have any signs of a miscarriage so opted to have surgery each time.
I actually chose to work up until the surgery every time - with time off for appointments. I told my work what was going on in case I didn't perform as well but I didn't want to sit at home thinking about it. But I totally see why you wouldn't want to work and I don't think that's wrong x

I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm in a similar situation. Had scan today that showed an empty sac but they still want me to go back for another scan in a week. I should be over 7 weeks so I can't see how there's any point, I feel like it's just prolonging the torture.

I feel the same about work. I hadn't told anyone I was pregnant. If I take time off now is it premature, should I leave it until after the next scan in case I need surgical management. But I know I'm not going to be at my usual productivity, and I also worry that I'll be very oversensitive and not able to handle any of the difficult personalities that I sometimes have to deal with. But I also think I'd struggle with not having anything to do all day except dwell on things. I'm working from home so at least I don't have to worry about keeping a brave face on all day.

I think I'll just see how I get on today. In your position, if work is already aware and being supportive then I really wouldnt worry about being seen as taking the piss. Two weeks is nothing in the grand scheme of things and if it was a colleague taking that time for the same reason you would have nothing but sympathy. Take the time you need.

I worked through mine. I took the day off for d&c but came back a bit sore afterwards, but I teach and if I miss lectures they just make us make them up the next week so it's impossible to take time off without loading the next week up with a mountain of tasks. Its better to power through and get it done. I also just wanted to keep busy.