Twins MMC - feel pretty bleak

[Rachx2021]

I'm so glad to have found this forum.

I went for my 12 week scan on Wednesday. It was our first scan and first pregnancy so I had no real idea what to expect. Totally out of the blue the sonographer told us that there were two babies but that they were so sorry, neither had a heartbeat and had stopped growing about two weeks previously.

The next 24 hours passed in a blur and I was booked in for a surgical miscarriage Thursday morning. Everything about my care over the hardest 24 hours of my life was exceptional: I was shown a level of care and compassion that I didn't even think was possible. Although my partner couldn't be with me for any of it, (I'm worried about how he is coping) I never once felt alone as everyone from the sonographer to the surgeon sat and held my hand and talked me through every stage of what was going to happen. The surgery ended up being more complex because I haemorrhaged, but last night I slept for the first time in days so maybe the physical healing process has begun.

I don't know why I'm writing this really. Maybe I just need to get it down to try and make sense of it all. I'm scared about what the future holds: I'm nearly 35 and can't help but wonder if this was my only chance to become a mum.

One thing I wanted to ask is does it get easier? I know it's early days but everything just feels so very bleak at the moment

Thanks for reading if you got this far 💕

I am so sorry for your loss. I am going through something similar and I just wanted to reach out and say you’re not alone. This isn’t my first pregnancy ( or miscarriage) but this is the first time I’ve experienced a missed miscarriage and surgical. I am 38 and am trying to have a child with my new partner. I am trying to be hopeful and stay positive. I know women that have had children later( in my family too). I guess what I’m saying is- if you want to talk I’m here.

Thank you so much for reaching out and I'm so sorry that you are going through something so similar. I'm here to chat - I'm not sure how forums work but is there a messanger bit?

Think it’s just forum messages but thanks for the reply. 💕

💕 I'm here when you want to talk. Rest up xx

It does get easier @Rachx2021. The same happened to me in late November. The first 3 months were bleak, but March onwards things have improved mentally-wise.

Its okay for it to feel hard. Its a loss and you will be grieving your little ones x

Bless you and so sorry for your loss.

This also happened to me 11 years ago. I naturally passed both but 24hrs apart, I ended up in hospital due to blood loss.

The grief came in waves. I promise it gets better and the fact you slept is your body on its way to healing.

My thoughts are with you. It's horrid.

I’m so sorry to hear this @Rachx2021. I hope you’re ok. Sending love.
I’m going through something similar. My sorter and I started to try for our first baby in March and this week I took a pregnancy test as I was kate by 3 days. The test showed positive 1-2 weeks pregnant and I took a few more over the next days to be doubly sure. We were so excited, being our first and the fact we couldn’t believe it only took one month of trying. Then 3 days later (yesterday) I stated to have cramps and spotting, plus lower back pain. Then by the evening I had more red blood and small clot. I called the EPU who said to keep an eye out if it gets worse, which it sadly did. I ended up in the EPU today for an internal scan, they couldn’t find anything on the scan, maybe a small cyst at most. So I’ve given bloods and have to go back on Tuesday for a further bloods to determine my Levels. I was told it’s a UPL (unknown pregnancy location) I know in my heart it’s a miscarriage and I’m just waiting for bloods to confirm. It’s awful.. to have such sheer joy and then a mere 3 days later compete disappointment and deflated sadness.

I'm so sorry to hear what's happened to you @Rachx2021, and send my love. It's harrowing and I think only time and the support of loved ones will help with the healing.

@Missm82 I really feel for you. So sorry to hear of your loss too. I'm also 38 and had a miscarriage that started on Wednesday. I'm trying to stay positive but it's hard, especially so when I feel time isn't on my side.

@Che3087I was also diagnosed with PUL and it's such a blow. I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this too.

So sorry @Rachx2021. I fell pregnant in January, had a private scan at 7 weeks baby measuring bang on at 7+1 and perfect heart beat, then at scan at 9+4 discovered no heartbeat and was a MMC too and I also had surgical. My surgery was 5th March. I'd say I was a mess for about 2 weeks then since then it's gradually got easier, I'm TTC again and finding it really hard being back on the two week wait stage when I should be 16 weeks. It feels so unfair being back to the start again. It feels like i will never be pg again and I'll never have the healthy baby in my arms but I hope I will. It gets easier to function and get on with life cause you just have to, but I feel like the only thing that will make it better is being pregnant and having a baby.

I hope you’re all doing ok 💜 @Rachx2021 @weathervane123 @justwant2beamum @Missm82 @TheDaydreamBelievers @tonystarksrighthand