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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Am I in denial about my miscarriage?

7 replies

kitpuss · 11/11/2007 13:45

About 7 weeks ago I had some bleeding (I was 10weeks pregnant) and a scan revealed that my baby had died three weeks earlier. I waited to miscarry naturally, which actually wasn't half as bad as I had feared.
I feel as though the pregancy was all a dream and am worried that I am in denial about my loss. I already have a two year old, who is a delight, but at the same time he stops me from crying and feeling sad because I always have to put a brave face on to look after him.
I just seem to feel sad and a bit depressed all the time, any advice on how to get over it or is it just a question of time?

OP posts:
cadelaide · 11/11/2007 15:08

I've had 2 mc, and felt much worse with one than the other.
I feel a bit guilty even saying that, but i guess what i mean is there are no rules, you just feel what you feel.
Yes, just time really kitpuss.

splishsplosh · 11/11/2007 15:14

I had a mc too, also about 7 weeks ago, when I should have been 10/11 weeks. My dd has made it easier to cope - it's hard to feel sad in her presence, and like you, even if I do feel down, I have to put on brave face for her.
I think different things help different people - some people throw themselves back into ttc, other people might spoil themselves a bit, or do things they enjoy that they couldn't do when pg, but probably time is the main thing. But other people have talked about the milestones bringing back sadness too, like around the edd

TwilightSurfer · 11/11/2007 17:03

Kitpuss it is still very early for me as I only miscarried Friday evening (naturally at home) but I'm not feeling devestated. I'm a bit down, more so when others talk about how sorry they are. I have one DC so this pregnancy was what I considered a life-bonus. My thought is nature has a way of doing what's either agree with nature or you work against it. Grieving is natural don't feel you have to hide it. Let it take gently but at the same time don't forget to live. Gradually the living will lessen the grief and before you know it you're well on your way down a brand new path.

kitpuss · 14/12/2007 13:58

Thanks for the lovely messages. I'm feeling better on the whole now, but some things just really hit me though, like this morning at a toddler group I saw a woman who was visibly pregnant and it really upset me. I only know her by sight, but still it was enough to make me upset and think that should be me who is pregnant.
I think Christmas is making it harder because I had been imagining myself with a lovely little bump at Christmas, and now I'm not pregnant at all. Also found out this week that I'm not pregnant after first month of trying, that upset me too. Am almost dreading the weeks/months of TTC, being upset every time it doesn't happen and getting all obsessed with timing. It makes the whole thing just seem like hard work when really it should be a wonderful time trying to make a new baby.

OP posts:
4littlechildren · 19/12/2014 09:17

I'm confused and maybe in denial
I'm 7w 4d
I've had very light pink discharge when I wipe, had ultra sound last wk, saw the heartbeat , today no heartbeat, you could still see the little bean up the top of the uterus,
I've still not bled yet, although cramping a little ??
Any thoughts??

TinyTear · 19/12/2014 09:26

if you are in London there is

they specialise in counselling for miscarriage and issues related to pregnancy and birth.

After my MC4 and 5 I was referred to them by my GP but you can just call or fill the form on the website.

i also got quite depressed as i coudn't cry and wallow as much because of my DD... but an important thing I learnt is that it is ok to show that mummy is sad... they need to learn all emotions

GuybrushThreepwoodMP · 19/12/2014 11:01

4little, what did the sonographer say to you?

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