Trying again

[Avarose8]

Hi everyone,

I had a miscarriage in December. Didn't started trying until after my first full cycle. I'm finding it really difficult trying to conceive again. We've tried ovulation apps and also ovulation sticks. Every time AF shows up I get so upset and it just reminds me of my miscarriage and how unfair it is. Does anyone else feel like this? Just don't know how to cope with these emotions. I hear stories of others getting pregnant quickly after their miscarriages...but that's not happened for us.

Thanks. X

I'm sorry for your loss. And I'm sorry you are feeling this way, it really isn't fair, it sucks.

Did it take you long to conceive before? Depending on your age it is normal to take 6 to 12 months, so it doesn't necessarily mean there is an issue. Having said that, that probably doesn't make you feel any better and I too know the feeling of desperately wanting it to happen now. When we have been trying we have done 'all the things' we can do to give us the best chance. I find the combination of OPKs and tracking BBT to be helpful because I can anticipate then confirm that I have ovulated. We do SMEP and use preseed.

I also read a study saying that women who take pregnacare supplements are more likely to both get pregnant and stay pregnant than those who don't, however I have also read that many women find it can mess with their cycles. It lengthened mine, which was quite helpful because they were short and three months of taking it took me from 23 day cycles to 28.

I hope this helps, good luck

Hi shooting star,

Thanks for the reply and your kind words. We conceived straight away before the miscarriage...so it sucks that it's taking longer this time. I'm 34 and soon to be 35, I really wanted to conceive before my 35th birthday to avoid the extra risks that come with the age bracket.

I do keep thinking that the miscarriage has messed with my cycles and ability to conceive. I know that's probably not the case...but I just keep getting very strange symptoms before AF that I never had before. We've tried SMEP but found it very hard to keep up with the level of sex needed. So we have gone for every other day this month during my fertile window.

It definitely feels more stressful trying this time round and it gets on top of me sometimes. Is preseed good? My cycles are not regular yet. Can you take supplements before being pregnant?

Sorry for your losses. I have had several miscarriages but on the positive side, I’ve managed to conceive when using the clearblue advanced fertility monitor and would definitely recommend giving it a try. The monitor tells you when you’re in the run up to your fertile period and then when you’re in the most fertile 48 hours.

I found that doing SMEP was always a bit of a disaster for us as we’d start off going for it (and usually way too early for ovulation) and then lose the will to carry on when it really mattered!

Most things that are suggested when ttc are just nonsense. I tried so many things and spent a lot of good money on pointless stuff. A good vitamin supplement like Zita west vitafem should help.

Hi Coachee,

Thanks for the reply. I'm sorry for your losses. A miscarriage can be soul destroying. Congratulations on having a successful pregnancy! I already have a daughter but wasn't trying and just fell pregnant. So I've not had much experience ttc. Can I buy the monitor online? Argos maybe?

Yes we found the SMEP very stressful and hard to keep going for three days in a row. It was so tough and my partner found it draining.

I know it will happen for me when it's meant to...but feel so sad that im here again and af coming reminds me of the loss I have been through.

Yes you can take supplements before you are pregnant. I think it is recommended to do so for the three months before you start trying, but it's not a problem if you don't as long as you start once you get a positive pregnancy test. Some are designed for couples trying, so I take pregnancare conception and my husband takes well man, you can but it on one pack. But like is said before be aware that it may change your cycle - I think that's due to the vitamins b6 and/or b12. For me I really believe it helped by lengthening my cycle.

And for preseed, if you usually use lube then I would definitely give it a go. Either that or conceive plus. Regular lube slows sperm down but preseed and conceive plus do not, so while they don't aid it as such, they don't reduce your chances. It's relatively expensive and it's not sexy if you use the applicators, but again I think it helped us and I've read a lot of other raving reviews about it, so even if you don't usually use lube I would try it