MC is tearing my relationship apart

[canitbesimple]

This has been our 3rd MC and they're testing my relationship apart.

My partner, like most men, struggles to talk about it and acts more like nothing happened.

He tries his best to communicate by text when he's at work, which I'm okay with if it means he talks about it but we're arguing a lot when he's home. Whenever I'm having a cry he doesnt even ask if I'm okay he just ignores it. When I try talk in person he changes the subject. I've told him I can't do it anymore

Someone please help - how do we get through this?

Sorry for your losses. Are your arguments related to the losses or are they unrelated? I’ve had losses myself and my husband has definitely been less affected and emotional about them. He has however been very supportive of my grief. Does it upset you that he's less affected or is the issue more that you don't feel supported? You can't change how he feels about your losses and there is no right or wrong way to feel, but you can ask for more love and support if that's what you need and feel is lacking. He may not what know what to do or say to comfort you and so may need some guidance.

Try and communicate to your partner what you need right now but also try and respect how he feels about it all. He might feel less affected or more logical about it all, but that's not a bad thing, there is no right or wrong. If he's feeling stronger than you, then take that as an opportunity to lean on him for support.

I hope thing get better for you soon .

Thank you!

Our arguments have been about the lack of support not so much the losses. I think because he doesn't show any emotions then I get annoyed as it comes across like he doesn't care.

Sometimes he doesn't even ask if I'm okay when I'm clearly crying and it's difficult for me to understand how he can just act like this isn't happening.

I know there's no perfect way to handle it and no matter what he says it doesn't change the pain but it's just hard to see him acting like nothing has happened. He has said he's putting a brave face on and i imagine that it's so I don't see him as it would make me feel worse. Sometimes I feel like he just needs a voice 💕

Thank you for your kind words ❤️

OP, I'm so terribly sorry for your losses and for what you are having to go through! I don't think I'm good at giving relationship advice but I didn't want to read and run as I've been where you are and know your struggles too well.

My DH didn't know what to do with my emotions, he didn't understand them. He wasn't (didn't seem!!) as upset and heart broken as I was and to make matters worse, he'd constantly say that we'll get through it, be positive, it will happen etc...it's not something you want to hear when all you want to do is smash some plates and scream as loud as you can. You kind of want someone to do it with you. To WANT to do it with you.

I had to realise that my DH just didn't deal with things how I did and how I expected him to. It didn't make me feel any better though and we had massive arguments when I think we should have been more supportive of each other and each other's feelings but you know, somehow we managed to come out on the other end...

Thinking of you OP