I feel that everyone else is over it and I'm not.

[numberthirtytwoWindsorGardens]

I miscarried in February, having lost the baby in January. I've been really lucky: although it was a MMC, I miscarried naturally in the end, and I've just had my first period since, so should be able to try again soon. And I have DS, who is wonderful.

But I just feel awful. I feel furious with DH all the time, though nothing is his fault, and I just feel constantly on the verge of tears and I don't know why.

Did anyone else feel this after a MC? Does it go away? I feel ridiculous for making such a fuss about what was, realistically, an early and easy miscarriage.

Please be gentle.

Yes, i miscarried in january and its still pretty raw. My mood has dropped and really struggling with it. I think of it as grieving so it takes time. Dont beat yourself up and try to be open with your partner about how you feel, its easy to keep it all bottled up to yourself x

Thank you @Solomon1212. I'm so sorry for your loss I just don't really know what to say - I'm just sad, you know? And I don't know what to say other than 'I'm sad because the baby died', and he already knows that, and there isn't anything else to say about it.

I hope you feel better soon x

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. During my first miscarriage which was really early as well I had a really tough time, I had been trying for a good few years but I ended up having to go for CBT and therapy that continued on nearly 6 months after and then found some coping mechanisms that worked for me such as self help, meditation and yoga. Everyone has their process allows yours. Take care of yourself x

I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ve had 4 losses, a natural miscarriage, a chemical, a mmc which needed medical management and then I had my baby prematurely who didn’t survive.

After the very first, I was the same as you. Sad and snappy at partner but didn’t entirely understand why (grieving the baby) and felt I should get over it bcos it seemed partner had.

It’s only a few years later and after my reading and talking to other women I realise those feelings were normal and that I was feeling angry at my partner bcos I thought that by not ever taking about it afterwards, as if I had not been pregnant, he didn’t love the baby. I also realised there really isn’t a set amount of time you should /should not grieve for. I look back now and can understand it but at the time I felt I had to hurry up and feel normal again - I suppose like you are feeling now, like you may feel judged or be seen as an annoyance for still feeling this way. Please take as much time as you need and vocalise your feelings to your partner and hopefully he can be supportive. Remember your hormones may still not have settled, which may be adding to the sadness. Be kind to yourself and let yourself grieve.

It might help to go on Tommy’s or other similar websites and read up on other women’s experiences of grief after their losses. Might help your partner understand too.

Sorry for your loss. If it helps i felt exactly the same. I lost my only oregnancy at 12 weeks in nov 2019. For the first 6 months everyone was over it and i was bitter and angry. So so angry with my dp every single day. I almost hated him i was so consumed with anger and grief. I later realised your hormones can take a long time to settle and its awful when you feel you cant soeak about it because no one is interested after its happened. But you wont feel like this forever i promise you.

Thank you for such kind messages, and I'm so sorry to those of you who have suffered losses. Everyone keeps telling me how common it is (which doesn't,tbh, help!)

I was feeling angry at my partner bcos I thought that by not ever taking about it afterwards, as if I had not been pregnant, he didn’t love the baby.

I think this is exactly it. He doesn't feel the way I do about it, but that doesn't make him wrong. I just feel awful that everyone else seems to think early miscarriage, one of those things, very common and get on with it, and I just don't seem able to. It does help to hear that some of you have felt this way too; thank you.

Hi my name is Dolma. I lost my baby in the summer of 2019 at 6 weeks. I was heartbroken and still am. I can’t move on at all. It seems my husband has moved on he keels Saying that my baby was dead in the first place and I should also move on. I really want more children since I have a daughter. I don’t want her growing up alone. Yesterday she asked me if she could have a brother or sister and that she would change the babies diaper and play with the baby. I was heart broken and burst into tears. Since I cannot grant her wish since my husband does not want to have anymore children. I try to talk to him about having more child’s but he keeps hurting my feelings. He stated last time that I already ruined his life with one kid and I can’t ruin his life with more children. Right now I just cry myself and the to work and back home. I pray that one day that my husband would change his mind and I could have a healthy baby a sibling for my daughter.

@Miscarriage1 im sorry for your loss. I think you should start your own thread for support and get advice but i think you should leave your husband. (i know its easier said than done) but for one thing your not compatible. You 2ant children he doesn't. And two its utterly vile and disgusting what he has said to you in regards of ruining his life because you have his daughter.

Not at all. I had an ectopic in 2016 then found out I was pregnant in jan. had to have key hole to check my remaining tube was ok, then told it may be a missed miscarriage as could only c a sack and to come back in 2 weeks! Saw a heartbeat at 6wks 4 days booked a private scan 2 weeks later to b told it died. Had a D&C 2 weeks ago but I’m furious after all I’ve been through seems people forget after the initial news. My partner goes back to work and I’m here not ready for work I work for the nhs so hard going atm but not wanted to sit around. Never saw him cry and feel he’s forgot I’m lost 😞

I'm so sorry op. It's completely normal for you to feel the way you do, it is still so soon and raw. I know this has probably been said to you a lot but time really does heal. You will never forget your baby, it's been 6 years for me and there are days where I still think of it, but it does not consume me the way it does at the start. It is a lot deeper for you than other members of your family as you carried the baby. It might be hard for other people to know what to say. Just look after yourself op, be gentle to yourself and take each day as it comes. I promise it will get easier

I had a MMC in December and have spent today inconsolable. Its been longer since my surgery than I was pregnant for (had the surgery at 8 weeks, found out no heartbeat at 7 weeks) but still feel so sad and robbed. No advice I'm afraid other than to say you're not alone and you're allowed to feel sad and cry. What's happened to us simply isn't fair x

I'm so sorry for all these losses. So much pain, and it seems so hard to get over. Thank you, @ShadierThanaPalmTree - it does help to hear that it will get better.

Sending much love to all those who have experienced losses and wishing you peace and happiness in the future

Yes. I had my first mc in February (my first pregnancy) and I have really struggled. I tried to take a pragmatic approach that it just wasn't meant to be (mc at 5 weeks), but in the following weeks I couldn't shake the feeling. I have been so low. It all came to a head at the weekend where I broke down and fessed all to my OH and let him know how I was feeling. I had tried to keep it to myself but it really wasn't helping. I feel much lighter now. Sorry you're going through this. It is tough.