Hoping for advice to keep me sane. Partner and I of 4 months recently found out we have miscarried. Literally 9 days ago we discovered this however a week ago she has gotten distant and told me she doesn’t know what she wants. We don’t live together but it was on the cards in the future as the pregnancy progressed. Everything was going so well, never argued or even fell out. Pregnancy wasn’t planned but we both discussed we wanted another baby in our lives when we first met and we were both happy with the pregnancy, going as far as thinking names etc but obviously didn’t tell anyone incase of a miscarriage. Obviously that has now happened.
We are both beyond devastated however she has shut me out completely. Last time we spoke she kept saying she didn’t know what she wanted, that she wanted to be alone and that she didn’t think she was right for me. Adding in things like she has failed me, that she can’t look at me without thinking she has failed me, that she also doesn’t want me to move in as she likes living separately and that she doesn’t want to try again in the future as we both have kids from previous relationships. I am completely at a loss on what to do. I understand everyone grieves differently and handles things differently, it just worries me that we are over all because of something that was completely out of our control, we had absolutely no say in what happened. I’m
Giving her a few weeks space which is really hard because all I want to do is hold her and know that everything will be okay in time but I can’t do that and it’s making this loss all the harder as I feel like I can’t tell anyone. She hasn’t said she wanted to break up, just kept saying she wanted to be alone, asked if she loved me and after a long pause said yes but she didn’t know, she’s kept our relationship status on social media etc, it’s just so confusing. It’s just absolutely messing with my head. My Plan is to get flowers sent to her door in a weeks time to let her know I’m thinking of her rather than texting etc, hoping this way I’m still honouring her wishes to be alone while also reaching out. Is it hormones that’s making her like this? Is it just the shock of it all and she needs time alone? I honestly can’t focus on everyday life knowing I could lose her because of this tragedy we had absolutely no control over.