Missed miscarriage-questions

[MeganChar1]

Hi all,

I found out on Monday at my 12 week scan that my baby had died at 7+4. In total shock as we had a private scan at 6+5 and everything was fine on that. This is our first pregnancy.

We are going to wait 6 months or so before trying again. We conceived the first baby very quick which was also a shock as I had just come off the pill which I’d been on for 12 years. I know this may be hard to answer but does this mean we are likely to conceive quick next time or could that first time just have been a fluke?

I’m also terrified of having recurrent mcs, I know a lot of people go through this and still get a rainbow, but I’ve just found it so traumatic i really don’t want to go through this again. I know they don’t test for problems until after 3, however is there anything I can do to help reduce risk next time, I’ve read about people taking low dose aspirin etc?

Sorry if these are impossible questions, my head is still a mess x

@meganchar1 I’m sorry you’re going through this too, it’s horrible isn’t it. So sorry for your loss.

I found out about my missed miscarriage on Tuesday this week, my baby died at 9+5. Which option are you going down?
I’ve opted for the op - but couldn’t get in until next Tuesday so wondering if it will happen before then.
Midwife told me you’re very fertile after a miscarriage like after having a full term baby and that this extra fertility can last a few months - she advised waiting until after first period.

I’m going to be trying straight away after that period as I’m 38 and don’t want to leave it any longer. I’m terrified too about it happening again but I’d rather try and fail than not try at all.
There is nothing we did wrong so there is nothing we can do to prevent it either. I had 2 healthy pregnancies and have 2 DS and there are plenty of people who go onto to have healthy babies after miscarriage.

I assume there may be private options to have tests but it sounds like a minefield which to me feels like more stress and overthinking personally. But can totally understand of course if you have recurrent miscarriage.

Wishing you all the best x

Also meant to say I conceived easily with my first 2, it took 5 months for this latest baby - it sounds like you’re really fertile so I’m sure won’t be a problem for you to get pregnant again but it just depends I think - everyone is different. X

@MeganChar1 I'm so sorry you're going through this .

My personal experience is that I've had 5 pregnancies, 3 of which ended in miscarriage. The first was very similar to yours, a mmc at 11.5 weeks after 15 years on the pill. I conceived straight away for that pregnancy and in my case, I also conceived straight away for the other 4 pregnancies. Sadly my second pregnancy ended in a mmc at 7 weeks too but I was told at the time, that two miscarriages in a row is fairly uncommon (about 4%) so while I was unlucky, there's every chance that you'll be in that 96% that have a successful second pregnancy.

My third and fifth pregnancies were successful so in my case, despite being convinced that something was wrong with me, my miscarriages were probably just bad luck and thankfully that's the case for the majority of women who suffer miscarriages. Only a small percentage (I think 1%?) Have recurrent miscarriages (3+ in a row). It's so hard, but the odds are in your favour.

I did take low dose aspirin after my second miscarriage but I wouldn't recommend that unless you've had more than one miscarriage and also discussed it with a doctor. Me and dh did also take his and hers conception vitamins before trying to conceive for the fifth time. Things like that never hurt and so might be worth looking into if you're taking a break for 6 months (they can take a few months to take effect).

Good luck in your journey and also, be kind to yourself these next few months. The grief from my first miscarriage has never left me - it's really hard and it's ok to not be ok.

So sorry for your loss its horrible and traumatic to experience the loss of a baby in pregnancy. You are more likely to conceive after a miscarage, within the first four months. I'd like to try and ease your fears and say recurrent miscarage is quite uncommon and most people carry to term with their next pregnancy. I had a miscarage in October 19 and got pregnant again in February 20, had my little girl in November. It is very scary being pregnant again after a loss and to be honest I felt numb the whole way through. Do start taking folic acid before you start trying again its recommended you take it for at least 3 months before you start trying to conceive.

@LostFox82 sorry for your loss too . Part of me wants to try again straight away but my rational brain knows not to, as in my area partners aren’t yet allowed to 12 week scans or to be there for surgical management of mc etc, I just know I don’t want to risk the emotional trauma of going through this again on my own. We are also in the process of moving house so wouldn’t want to go through it again at the moment for that reason, I know that really though there’s never a good time to experience this. I’ve opted for the surgical option as I just want it done straight away and there’s less risk of retained tissue. I really hope when we do try again it will be quick, I think we will give it 6 months x

@Pesimistic thank you for the reassurance, I think the worst thing next time will be waiting for the 12 week scan, not sure I would want a private reassurance scan again because it gave us false hope and I do wonder if it’s made the whole experience even worse. I’ll try and stay positive, it’s hard when you read about a lot of people having reoccurring miscarriages x

Hi, I am so sorry you are going through this, it is rubbish isn't it?

I have 3 healthy children now, but I had several mc in between.
For my missed mc, I lost the baby before the booked procedure.

For all my pregnancies I conceived veey quickly, within 2-3 months of trying.

But I know from friends and family that it can vary a lot. Some people get pregnant quickly with one and then not with the second, and some the other way round.

One thing I did was to read a book on maternal health, and as a result I took a course of zinc supplements. There is another one as well, possibly magnesium?
Both are essential in pregnancy and most of us these days have low levels. I have no idea if it made a difference, but it helped me to feel as if I was being more active.

Sorry to hear you are going through this, I too have just gone through the same this week.
Went to my 12 week scan on Monday for them to say Baby had stopped growing around 9 and a half weeks.
I was back in the hospital Tuesday morning for my surgical procedure and was out by 6pm the same evening.
All of the staff were really lovely with me which helped as obviously Partners aren’t able to be with you due to the covid. They told me to wait a cycle and then try again but I just don’t think we will be ready, I feel really traumatised by the whole situation! I hope everything goes well for you x