Missed miscarriage- which option during COVID?

[FTMbex]

Hi everyone,
First time on here, but not nice circumstances 😕
Had a check up scan yesterday at EPU after a week of light brown bleeding - should have been 10+5 but was told baby had no heartbeat and measured 9+5 - saw it on the screen looked so perfect.
Initially when told the options I thought medical to get it out sooner to get closure but after reading all the terrifying stories on here and miscarriage association page I think I’d prefer the op.however even the midwife said think carefully due to COVID

9+5 weeks seems quite late on to go through natural or medical at home and I’m not sure I’m up to it - my husband is squeamish so would be on my own with 2 young kids in the house too - I’m usually quite stoic but feeling very low mentally due to lockdown etc before all this.

Any advice appreciated x

I had the operation, under GA at the end of Nov 2020. They also offer it under local if you are a bit earlier than I was, but not sure what the cut off would be.

Pros
Very little pain
Very little bleeding, which stopped after 1.5 weeks
Professionals all v caring
In and out in one day
Didn't have to witness loss of something that looked like a baby (mine died 10+5)

Cons
Had to get Covid19 tested - not pleasant
Had to self isolate from my husband all weekend (diff beds, diff rooms etc), which isn't nice prior to something so emotional
Had to wait all day for surgery, not knowing when it would happen and nil by mouth. Was 5.30pm in the end! Other women I know have waited around all day then asked to return next day to wait again as the other surgeries that day have taken longer than anticipated.

Would your DH be able to look after the kids though?

I found it really hard to decide what to do. Not in COVID times, but I was booked in for the op and before admission nature took its course at home. Overall I was happy in the end not to have had to face the small risks of surgery which would be more just now. Also I would have been in the maternity ward, so that would have been difficult emotionally.

My own experience - It wasn't very painful and the main part was over in a couple of hours. The amount of blood and large lumps were quite shocking and it was distressing, but I was happy to be in the comfort of home.

Sorry for your loss 💐

@FTMbex I'm so sorry for your loss.

I had surgical management under local anesthesia (also known as an MVA) at 9+3 although baby and sac only measured between 6-7 weeks. This was last Thursday.

It was a painful experience so I would definitely accept all of the pain meds you are offered. But of course it was manageable and I survived! For me, it was good to know that it was all over on one day - I could get closure! Something I'd been longing for since the first signs of something going wrong nearly 4 weeks before that.

As far as I know with medical or expectant management it can take a while for the actual miscarriage to begin.

If you're unsure of how supportive husband will be able to be with a miscarriage at home, then perhaps surgical could be the right choice for you. Whether that's under general or local - just be warned you will need somebody to drop you off and collect you whichever anesthetic you have as you won't be fit to drive due to the meds.

Hope this helps and I'll be happy to answer any more questions if you have them! X

I have had one medical and two surgical and would only ever want to have surgical again. Mine were done under general, it was in the general surgical ward (I have never heard it being performed in maternity unit?), was there first thing in the morning and all done by lunchtime. Was quick and painless. My husband couldn’t attend anyway (even pre-covid), but was called when I was out to pick me up. I felt fine after, so if yours needs to stay home, getting a cab is no problem at all (you are not allowed to drive straight after). Did not have to isolate from husband, just both had to isolate after my test, so was only two days. Bleeding was very minimal and stopped after a few days. Medical was awful, it was so painful and I bled for a week or so after. I would not want to do that again.

Thanks so much for your messages, really good to hear your experiences, but I’m sorry you’ve also had this horrible experience and lost your babies.

I think I’m going to go for the op, even having decided that this morning I already have relief, and feel a little better.

They said nothing about isolating - apparently they do a 90 min COVID test before I go into surgery and depending on the result I go into a COVID ward or clean ward. That part is scary but I think the risks of potentially going down the other routes and ending up in a&e anyway like some of the stories I’ve heard sounds worse.

My husband is supportive to an extent, but would no way deal with seeing blood, and he’s seems to be struggling anyway (currently can hear him shouting at the children) so I think the sooner I get this all sorted and back up and running the better for everyone.

Did any of you who had an op opt for anything specific to be done with the foetus?

@LaraLuce i think I would deal with it if it happens naturally, and yes husband would have to look after kids making it very difficult for him (he’s self employed so no compassionate leave) but can’t bare the wait, I’ve had no pain at all so far so no sign. If it happens between now and op then so be it I suppose!

I changed my name btw - I was FTMbex (but I’m not a FTM anymore!) x

@LostFox82 I just went with the hospital's existing group cremation policy. My healthboard also always tests MC tissue for molar pregnancy, just in case.

Like @Grognonne my surgery was not in maternity, it was in a gynaecology day surgery unit (very large city hospital so has a bunch of day surgery sections). I think half of the women there were there for the same thing.

So sorry

Just wanted to add. Have they asked about having another scan to confirm?

They wouldn't do anything until they'd had two scans a week apart to confirm no growth (just incase the dates were wrong and no heartbeat would have been expected)

Does that make sense? I'm just confused as I've never seen them not do that.

In my case it was frustrating as I'd had a private early scan so knew that there had been a heartbeat and now wasnt

I had the op. It was very calm. They looked after me really well. The nurse stroked my hair as I went under. Take care

Good to know thank you. They don’t do any tests here.

They couldn’t get me in on Friday so I’m booked for Tuesday, hoping I make it to then!

@isitsafetoconeoutyet I know what you mean I’ve read that too about needing 2 scans.

I had a private one at 7+2 weeks - so just a blob as they said it was actually 6+5 but it had a heartbeat, but didn’t actually tell them that at EPU yesterday.

I could see the baby on the screen yesterday - it was a proper baby shape with arms and legs - and she got a second sonographer in to get a 2nd confirmation- said this was the process.

Maybe as it was quite developed but no heartbeat there’s no chance it could be early? How far along did you measure?

I’m sorry too for your loss, but pleased the op was straightforward for you - that’s good to hear x