Pregnancy loss

[Lorrie202q]

Hi ,
I lost my baby at 16weeks and I am so torn apart , I don't know what to do or think . I am really trying to keep it together But l can't . I am struggling mentally and emotionally. I feel like a failure, I feel like my life has no meaning and l have never ever felt this much pain . I wanted to hold my baby to so so bad I can't take it 💔💔

Somebody help me please 😭😭

I'm so sorry you're going through this, I can't even imagine what you must be feeling. I'm going through my 3rd miscarriage now at 9 weeks. I've been told that my baby is measuring 5 weeks and it's this horrible waiting game to be told I'll need medical management or surgery. I keep seeing people I know post videos of their newborn and it just hurts me, so close to holding my own baby. It just feels unfair doesn't I!

I am sorry you going through this. It feels so unfair I didn't everything right

did everything right

@Lorrie202q I keep thinking the same. I keep getting angry thinking that there's people out there that drink and smoke throughout their pregnancies and then having to keep reminding myself not to judge and that it's just not my time. It's been difficult but tommies miscarriage support are amazing and are so good at helping you to manage your emotions and grief.
Just remember that this is something that you will never "get over" and that you just need time to be upset.

You did do everything right and I am so sorry about your baby. Have you been offered any follow up mental health support?

I asked my midwife to refer me to a psychotherapist cause I am a mess Right now . I keep getting negative thoughts and wanting to end my life . I have never ever thought of taking my own life But going through this really weakened me , everything seems dark , l feel like a big looser . I am struggling to even sleep , eat or get out of bed. I need help for sure !

I am really glad you are seeking mental health support. What you have been through is awful and it's so understandable that you feel all these horrible emotions. Remember that if you ever feel like you cannot keep yourself safe (like you may harm yourself or try to end your life) you can call 111 for urgent mental health support, outside hours. GPs can also be a fantastic resource to provide support or a little medication to help you cope or help you sleep.

I hope you also have people in your life you feel you can talk to and lean on. Whenever you can, look after yourself even if that's in small ways by having a shower or a snack. What happened is not your fault and is not indicative of who you are. We are thinking of you and wishing you the best.

Should clarify - my support via 111 is available during and outside typical working hours

Hi Lorrie202q,

We're sorry you're going through such a difficult time.

We can see you're getting some good support here on your thread, and that you've made contact with your midwife to try to get some extra support in real life, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources.

You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected], or call them, any time, on 116 123.

We'd also urge you to take a look at the support available from Petals - the baby loss counselling charity. They offer specialist counselling to anyone who's experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, termination for medical reasons or neonatal loss.

Keep talking, OP. We really hope you're okay.

Thank you all for the love and support .

stumbled across this post - how are you doing @Lorrie202q ? hope you are feeling a little bit better with some time that has passed. I am in a similar situation now and can relate to your OP. Sending love xx