Hey guys I’m just having a really tough time at the moment and looking for some support, advice or just virtual hand holding if anyone wouldn’t mind. A bit of background – I’m 9 weeks 4 days pregnant today. We had an early scan at 7 weeks and all looked good, we saw a heartbeat. I then started bleeding, only lightly, but was told to go to A&E if it got heavier. On NYD it did so we went to A&E, had bloods taken, they couldn’t scan me as they were so busy but a lovely Dr spoke to me and did an internal check and my cervix was closed and the bleeding had stopped by itself so she booked me in for the next available scan, Monday.
We went for the scan last Monday and it wasn’t good news. The Dr said that although she could see a baby with a heartbeat, there wasn’t a lot of fluid around the baby and she couldn’t tell us either way which way the pregnancy will go. We have to go back in 10 days, so this Thursday. After the scan we sat down and my husband and I were just in complete shock as we’d expected to hear either way but now we’re just in this horrible limbo. She then mentioned a horrible thing called partial molar pregnancy and she wasn’t sure if it was that so she wrote it down on my notes. I of course Googled it when we got home and just got this sick feeling wash over me as it sounds absolutely awful and I saw the words cancer and not being able to TTC for another year after it…I wish I hadn’t Googled it but I almost did it before I’d realised, if that makes sense.
Since then I’ve had a little bleeding every day but only when I go to the loo and only a little when wiping. Today feels different. I think I am miscarrying. I have some lower cramps that I don’t think I’ve had before and red blood when I wipe, but not just a number 2, just general going to the loo which hasn’t happened before. And multiple wipes too. I’m scared and upset and feel sick with worry and anxiety. Luckily I’m WFH and my husband is too and he’s being incredible but I’m just feeling so sad and scared. I know there’s nothing anyone can do and I just need to wait and if it gets a lot heavier and more painful I will ring the EPU again and see what they say. I’ve had a week of horrible limbo not knowing what will happen and we’ve both prepared ourselves for the worst and I think accepted in it a way but it all feels so horribly surreal to just be sat here bleeding not knowing what will happen.
I’m not sure what I’m even posting for. Just wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation really. I keep telling myself the baby is too poorly to live and we don't want me to be poorly etc etc which helps a little but it's just so desperately sad and I feel there's no light at the end of the tunnel. What if it is the horrible partial molar pregnancy and it doesn't all come out and I need surgery or just urgh. I feel so sad for all of us that we have to go through this and I’m sending so much love to you all and thank you for sharing your stories on here as it really does help to not feel as alone.