The sense of loss has been immense this month. I always said I couldn't understand people who get so upset about losing 'a bunch of cells', it makes me shudder that I actually thought like it.
I had a mc at 7 weeks, on my birthday in November. I desperately tracked ovulation in the weeks following and timed dtd accordingly, in the hope of being one of the lucky ones that fell straight away. I had been testing like crazy and convinced myself each test had a vv faint line and that it could just be too early. I had AF start on Christmas Day.
I've since had 3 close friends announce their pregnancies, as well as my husbands cousin. Theyve done such lovely soppy videos showing pics of their scans and clips of them videoing announcements etc. They are all due the same time we would've been due, sharing scans we should've had 
Nobody other than my dh and close family know about our mc.
I just feel so empty. I've gone through around 30 pregnancy tests during my tww post mc. Im a test-aholic anyway let alone now! I'm so anxious about getting pregnant and taking time out of ttc would only make it worse.
No point in this post really. Just wanted to write it down and put it out there.