Trigger Warning - Nightmares

[babysnowman]

Hi there

Since my miscarriage at the beginning of the month I've been having quite graphic nightmares, which are basically a reliving of physically passing the pregnancy.

Last night though in my dream I knew I had already had the miscarriage but still then passed a baby that would have been much further along. It was visually quite disturbing and distressing.

I don't know why I'm writing here but I'm just so shaken this morning. Has anyone else had anything like this?

Thanks xx

Hopeful bump?

Me too - horrible nightmares for months now, always of different points in the loss - finding out, going to hospital, delivering...

I wish I knew how to stop them. Tried speaking with my therapist, he thinks I've got PTSD and that it's related to that. Kind of makes sense - our brains process events and memories when we're asleep, so the nightmares could be our brains still trying to process what happened?

That makes sense, I feel like I'm going mad though. Sorry you are experiencing it too x

Symptoms / experiences like this are very normal in the months after a traumatic event. Completely normal. Distressing and horrible but your mind's way of processing and making sense of the loss. Time should heal things. All the best.

Yes I am having awful nightmares since the loss of our son.

A mix of what happened, his burial and him actually being born alive when he should have been and then awful things happening to my dh and our other children.
Im struggling alot with sleep at the moment but its only been 3 weeks. Things always seem worse in the middle of the night I think.

I am planning to have counselling in the new year and see if that helps. I think its just my brain trying to process what happened to me.

@Maybe83 That sounds awful, I'm so sorry you're going through it. It really adds to the feeling of isolation that we have to deal with it even in dreams at night. I hope the counselling will help you x

It happened to me, after my losses, stillborn son and the passing of my father.

It will pass - looking back I should have talked to a therapist over it but I got past it. My mums recently been diagnosed with cancer and a few other family dramas are going on and they're back with a vengeance.

If you feel you need to talk to someone, please seek professional help. You've obviously had an emotional trauma and it's ok to feel like this.

@babysnowman I know its so lonely in the middle of the night. My dh says to wake him but I don't see the point in both of us being awake and tired during the day.

I have started writing during the day just things that are running through my mind. The bereavement midwife suggested it and it seems be helping abit.

I had a dream that it had all been a mistake, that the baby was still growing and had survived the medical management and that they were showing it to me on the scan machine and it was more developed and healthy and waving its arms and legs happily at me. I was phoning my DH in the dream to tell him the good news. Then I woke up

Last night I was looking after someone else’s newborn. He was a beautiful baby who was really alert and really looking at me, like he knew me. Then I put him down and he disappeared, maybe someone had taken him, and I was so worried that I was in trouble for losing a baby I was supposed to be looking after. That one was a bit more nightmarey and woke me up.

I’m not getting on with DH during the day either, it seems to have driven us really far apart rather than closer together, so maybe that is adding to the stress and the dreams.

@Goatscheesewithhoney they spoke alot about that in the hospital with us and how it can put alot of pressure on relationships and that both of us won't be in exactly the same place at the same time. That we both could be extremely angry over what appeared to be very minor things.

They used the words kind and gentle with each other alot. So we are trying to be like that. It has helped alot and for us to try not to get stressed about small things but it is still only early days for us.

I hope the dreams pass soon they are very hard when they so vivid.