Waiting to miscarry over Christmas

[Dryshampoo32]

Hi all. This is a first pregnancy for me. I recently put up a thread on the pregnancy board where I was looking for experiences of dates being wrong/ pregnancies measuring behind. I had an early private scan at what should have been 8 weeks 2 days but embryo was only measuring 6 weeks 4. There was a heartbeat though, so good sign. I’ve spent most of the last week convincing myself dates could be off, late ovulation, embryo on the smaller side, etc etc.

Had the rescan yesterday which shows not even a tenth of a mm growth - still measuring 6w4 when we should be 9w1. Heartbeat still present but visibly much slower than before. Sonographer didn’t share the heart rate but did give me a 9 second video - my basic maths from this gives a result of about 80-90 beats per min which is vv low for an embryo of over 6w3, never mind the 9 weeks where we should be.

Sonographer advised prognosis is poor and miscarriage likely.

Spoke to GP who contacted EPU. Due to there still being a heartbeat, nothing can be done and no one will see me. I have been told to wait and see for 10 days to 2 weeks and then rescan. Natural miscarriage likely in this time.

I just want this to be over. The thought of getting through Christmas with a dead/dying embryo is unbearable. Can anyone share experiences of how long it took them to miscarry naturally from finding out that was the prognosis? I have zero cramping or bleeding/spotting at the moment.

Sept 2019 I thought was 11wks pregnant and had a small amount of bright red blood. That was the Fri afternoon after work. Then it changed to light brown discharge but Sunday morning it happened again. Contacted midwives who arranged scan the Monday at EPU.

EPU scanned and thought I was just much earlier than I thought (6wks) as was heartbeat. I knew not good news as if that was case would have tested positive before being pregnant.

They arranged a rescan a week later and I went on the sick from work as just so upset. On the Friday I started getting period cramp feelings and Saturday afternoon started bleeding like a period. Early hours Sunday morning I got contractions and lost large blood clots and then the bleeding settled down to again what was like a period. Went to my scan on the Monday knowing was going for confirmation everything had passed and that was confirmed. I got sick notes for a further 2 weeks as did not feel physically or mentally able to work.

I did feel put off trying again due to being 36 but the kind nurse at EPU said she’d had miscarriage and went on to have 3 healthy babies. I waited couple months as couldn’t bear going through that again but in April 2020 tested positive again and now have a 3wk old healthy baby girl. If you want to try again do as likely to have a positive outcome but for now take your time to grieve and come to terms with what is happening. What helped me was to think the baby I lost held on trying to make it but as they wouldn’t experience the kindest of lives my body needed to finally let it go. I’m a private person but spoke to a couple of close friends and my mum about what was happening and it did help lots so I would advise reach out to someone you know cares about you and also it did help to realise other people had experienced the same and gone on to have positive experiences which gave me hope.

@Dryshampoo32 hi. I can't help with your situation but wanted to share mine as I understand how you are feeling about Christmas. I had a early scan at 6+6 3 weeks ago where the baby was measuring a week behind but there was a heartbeat (they didn't say how strong). I've been getting a lot of symptoms - nausea and sickness - so hoped things were progressing. I went for a follow up private scan on Monday at 9+5 and was praying baby had caught up. Unfortunately my baby had just disappeared. There was just an empty sac and no baby. Because of Christmas and covid I have to wait until at least Tuesday for surgery so go through Christmas was all the pregnancy symptoms. It is devastating and I'm trying as hard as I can to block it out, which is virtually impossible. I'm so sorry what you are doing through...it is so hard xx

I woke up lightly spotting when I was 11w. An epu scan confirmed no heartbeat and measuring too small. It looked as though the baby had stopped growing at around 7-8 weeks. I was booked in for a follow up scan the following week but told I was basically going to miscarry. The spotting became heavier until a period-like flow. 5 days of this and I woke up with cramps and passing huge clots. Bled heavily, soaking through pads all day and then the bleeding basically stopped. Went to the follow up scan a couple of days after this who confirmed the miscarriage was complete. I then spotted/bled very lightly on and off for about a week. They gave me a pregnancy test to take 3 weeks later, which I did and it was negative. It was very upsetting but, at least in my case, not really painful at all. I was told I could continue to ttc whenever I felt ready. I'm really sorry this is happening to you.

So sorry you are going through this. My 1st MC was 2weeks before Christmas, my next was 1 week before Christmas and my 3rd mc was during the peak of the 1st lock down earlier this year! Thats time, I'd had IVF, so knew dates exactly, but it measured 1 week behind, but did have a HB at 7 weeks.

2 weeks later I started spotting brown. This progressed slowly. Sometimes nothing when wiping, sometimes brown, then spotting red. The EPU wouldnt scan me which was the most difficult part. I realise nothing can be done to prevent MC, but they kept saying that 'in normal times' they would have had me in to check!

The next day, the bleeding got more red and heavier, like a light period. By the afternoon, I took paracetamol because I was getting back pain and cramps. I assume my cervix was opening, because the pain was getting worse. Managable, but uncomfortable. I didnt know if I wanted to sit on the toilet, lie down, stand, walk around etc. Eventually I did pass clots and the pregnancy and the pain subsided considerably.

With my 2nd MC at 7 weeks and the 3rd one at 9 weeks, I bled for 7-10days afterwards.

Dont forget that you arent alone. We are here to help and answer any questions you might have, plus there are many professional organisations which have helplines:
www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/

Thinking of you x

Same situation happened to me, our pregnancy was supposed to be 7 weeks 5 days but was sizing between 4-5 weeks. No heartbeat could be detected but they convinced me my dates were wrong but deep down I knew they weren't, I went on to miscarry within a week. It was a long week lots of on/off bleeding but the process itself of passing everything took an hour. Then it felt like a regular period. I've conceived again and I'm now 5 weeks along, praying this one sticks.

I'm sorry you're going through this especially during this time of year x

I’m so so sorry. That week wait must have been horrendous and it isn’t fair that you have to wait again

I recently waited for a week, and went back on Friday to confirm. I should have been 8 weeks but was still measuring 6 and the heartbeat was gone.

I had no spotting - I’d had period type pains a couple of times, but not for long.

I opted for medical management as I didn’t want to wait. The worst of it was over in three days (on and off, I had breaks as it would start and stop) and am recovering now. If you have any questions about that process last me know.

I don’t think my body would have miscarried naturally, not anytime soon anyway, as I still had had morning sickness and other strong symptoms.

Thinking of you

So sorry this happened to you.

I had 3 mmcs, the second was over Christmas 2 years ago. Scan on Dec 16th showed no heartbeat but had to wait 10 days to confirm as occasionally it does change. Like you I didn’t have much hope as in my case the sac was irregular and I opted for medical management when it was confirmed on Dec 27th. Everyone at the hospital was incredibly kind and sensitive.

My first miscarriage had taken a very long time, was picked up on a scan at what would have been 13 weeks but hadn’t progressed since about week 5/6, and I miscarried naturally a week after that - so 7 or 8 weeks after the pregnancy had been lost. I didn’t want to risk that again, the waiting was a struggle as it’s so unpredictable when it would actually start. I also opted for medical management with my third miscarriage.

In terms of the waiting over Christmas, normally we stay near relatives in a hotel but that year we just went for the day. Looking back I think I should have just stayed at home. We binge watched anything that was unlikely to be warm and fuzzy on Netflix in the days after, while eating comfort food and lots of chocolate. There was wine. My DH and I basically squirrelled away and just took some time for ourselves to try to recover from the shock of it and grieve. Thinking of you xxx

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. It's especially hard this time of year.

I just experienced my first MC over the weekend/last week. I was in the same boat growth-wise with the embryo. It was measuring 6w3d when it should've been a week ahead.

Inital tests showed that my hcg levels were rising as they should. However, three tests later, they began to slow significantly and my nurse told us to temper expectations. My first two ultrasounds were not great. They had a hard time locating the gs. All seemed lost at that point. But two days later (Mon) they were able to find an embryo, very clearly, with 114 hb. We got our hopes up. The next day I started spotting. The bleeding increased over the next few days (Wed onward). I got another US on Friday, everything looked fine, still a strong heartbeat.

Unfortunately, on Saturday and Sunday, I started bleeding heavily and tissue started to come out as well. This past Monday I got one more US and the embryo could no longer be found. I am still bleeding (two weeks total) but it has waned.

I have gone through the typical emotions: anger, sadness and everything in between.

Thinking of you and wishing you all the best. You are not alone.

Hi,
Thank you all so much for posting your stories, that alone provides some comfort. I had a missed miscarriage back in August. Only symptom was some slight spotting. Low heart rate confirmed at the initial scan, no heart rate a week later and then 2 more scans needed a week apart as they hadn’t taken the correct measurements and needed to do this (even though zero heartbeat?!) . I then went on to have a medically managed miscarriage. Like you the worse bit was walking around knowing that it wasn’t going to happen but still having it inside me. My symptoms had been very mild though. (I was about 8 weeks).
I’ve recently found out I’m pregnant again. Slightly different and some stronger symptoms this time and some I had last time I don’t have! I’ve been spotting since a week before the period that never came and ever since. I’ve pushed for a scan at the EPU which is tomorrow (6 weeks 4days). I know deep down it won’t be good news. I’m gutted. I think I’ll spend Christmas On the sofa in my pj’s. I kind of almost think I will feel better if I know it’s not going to happen. At the moment, this limbo is unbearable. I’m also worried sick that it’ll be like last time where everything was so drawn out...even though there was no hope.

Sending you lots of hugs and hope for the future. You will get through this. Xx

I am going through something similar @Dryshampoo32

By my dates should be about 11 weeks now but had a scan about 2 weeks which showed a very small baby. Had to have a repeat on Monday and assumed I'd get an answer either way bit the sonographer thought she saw a heartbeat even though the baby was exactly the same size as before, CRL only 2.5mm, which is far too small for any kind of dates.

Been rebooked for another scan on the 5th January but now just waiting really. Been off work two weeks as just couldn't focus but going to try go back next week over new year.

Thinking of you x

Sadly I feel your pain as we are going through a miscarriage currently! I’m so sorry you are going through this because it totally sucks!

We had an early scan and the sonographer told us we were a week or 2 behind where we thought we should be, this didn’t make much sense to us but as this was our first pregnancy we were guided by them!

Within a week I started to miscarry, I started with light bleeding, my midwife wasn’t concerned at this stage but the bleeding became heavier over night. Midwife then put me in touch with EPU but this was only after I started passing clots and started with what I would say were cramps similar to period pains, I couldn’t get an appointment until 2 days later and by the time we had a scan at the weekend and it confirmed the pregnancy had passed.

I’m still bleeding today, the bleeding started last Wednesday and I just want it to stop now! I’m not sure how I’ll cope with Christmas but I’ve found lost of support from close friends, my family and some online support networks helpful!

There is no right way to feel right now and if anyone tells you different or you feel you ‘should’ put on a brave face because it’s Christmas then ignore them. You do you and just know that things will get better (or so I’m told)!

Sending lots of love!!!

Thanks everyone for your support and sharing your experiences - they’ve really helped me so thank you.

The last two weeks have been pretty torturous. Christmas itself was actually fine as it gave us something to focus on, but I’ve really struggled from about the 27th onwards due to just being in limbo, waiting for something to happen. I called the GP surgery when they reopened after Christmas and the receptionist was wonderful, she was absolutely appalled that we had had to just muddle through Christmas on our own, waiting for a miscarriage that may or may not happen on its own. I understand that there’s very little to be done, but the two GPs I spoke to were less helpful/sympathetic. Mainly they were just confused about why I was calling them if I wasn’t having pain/bleeding (I was calling because I wanted to organise the rescan and I had been told I couldn’t deal with the EPU directly, the G had to do it.

Eventually it was confirmed that I have an appointment for EPU rescan on Monday 4th, which has helped my mental state hugely having something to aim for. I have now this afternoon started bleeding with some aching, so I’m hoping the miscarriage will now happen naturally over the next couple of days and the scan will just confirm everything.

All in all, embryo stopped developing at 6w4 although heartbeat was still clinging on at 9w1. Miscarriage started 10w6. All seems like such a long waste of time.