What will happen? Slow heart rate and probable miscarriage.

[Threecouldbefour]

Hi,

I went for a scan yesterday at just 7 weeks. The baby measured correctly but only had a heart rate of about 67 bpm. I have a repeat scan in a weeks time.

The sonographer said it was 50/50 as to whether it would pick up, but having read up I now realise it's almost inevitable I am going to have a miscarriage.

Has anyone else gone through this? What happened and what treatment, if any, did you opt for?

Also, I'm scared I'm going to see something. What if I do see it? What do you do? I would feel so sad and awful just flushing it away. I had a miscarriage before at nearly 8 weeks but no baby had developed so I just saw the sac when it passed. I'm scared it's going to be worse this time.

Sorry for all the questions. I feel as though I'm just inside my own head at the moment. I haven't even cried. Is that strange? I just feel a bit numb, as though it's happening to someone else.

Thank you x

I'm so sorry you're going through this

I've had three miscarriages, but never with a slow heart rate, so I'm sorry I have no advice. I'm really hoping things work out, but realise that it is probably unlikely.

It sounds like you are in shock. Do you have any real-life support?

Keep a little tupperware container in the bathroom just in case if you are worried about what to do if it happens at home.

And ask as many questions as you like.

Sorry you are going through this. I had 3 miscarriages and the first one was the same situation as yours. I had scan at 8 weeks and was told baby had a heartbeat but much too slow, I was told that it was unlikely to be good news at the next scan. I had a repeat scan 10 days later when they said the heartbeat had stopped.
I was given 3 options - wait to miscarry naturally, use medication to start the bleeding or surgical.
I was like you and didn't want to see anything. As I hadn't had any bleeding at all I didn't think it would end naturally very soon as was fed up with feeling pregnant so wanted it over quickly. I was scheduled for surgery 2 days later.
I actually had 2 further miscarriages after that and never bled naturally so I chose surgery again for both of those. If you have any questions about it let me know.
Just want to add that I have had a little girl since, so multiple miscarriages can end with good news x

Thank you both for your lovely replies. It's so helpful and comforting to hear from people who have been through the same or similar. I do have support, yes - but my husband is really devastated about it and has cried a lot. I just can't get there. I don't know what's wrong with me. I hadn't let myself get too emotionally invested as we had a miscarriage before our baby born last year. We have two older children so this was to complete our second pair - to give our daughter the same companionship our older two enjoy, and to complete our family. I was going through a period of anxiety about it all before this news - whether our older two would feel as though they were being replaced, not wanting to be less of a good mother to them, what pregnancy would be like (last one was hard) and I feel as though now this has happened I just feel confused and I don't know what to do with my feelings. I'm just being mute around my husband. He's being lovely and very supportive - although a part of me feels hostile as when I had a miscarriage before, he left me at home straight afterwards to go to the gym. I then stayed all night in another room (my choice) and was in agony by myself all night. He has apologised profusely and I know he feels very guilty and ashamed of that night, but it brings back memories. He is totally present this time so I shouldn't think like that. I don't know if that's partly why I'm being emotionless though. Maybe I'll feel differently when reality hits. I think the idea of a small container in the bathroom is a good idea and at least gives me the option of pausing for a moment. I am trying to keep busy and to get things organised for Christmas - the thing I'm really worried about is dealing with this over Christmas with our children at home and then I'm not able to help or be present for them. Thanks for reading my ramblings. It's cathartic if nothing else x

Does anyone have any stories of hope? x