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MMC wondering if D&C or MVA will be offered? So scared :(

27 replies

MandsH · 13/12/2020 17:58

We found out last week at a 9 week scan that the baby was measuring 6+2 with no heartbeat. Due to be rescanned tomorrow to confirm the MMC and hear my options and I’d like to have some prewarning what they might be. Its been the worst week of my life waiting and wondering if it will happen naturally and Ive had a few period type pains but no spotting whatsoever. I need this to be over ASAP and cant continue to wait and dont want the tablets. Am I most likely to be offered a MVA or D&C? The MVA sounds less invasive somehow am I correct? What type ofsedation or pain relief can I expect to be offered? I’ve never had a general anaesthesia and the thought scares me so much. I also have chronic sinusitis and my phlegm and nasal passages have been partucularly bad this past week so if I have to be incubated I’m worried about the additonal risks of respitory infection or difficulties. I dont however want to go through extreme pain being awake. Will twilight sedation maybe be a safer option maybe with local anaesthesia too? Will I even get a say in any of this? My head is spinning with it all and I’m so afraid!

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 13/12/2020 18:04

I’ve had an MVA after failed medical management and an ERPC under a general and far preferred the latter. I don’t want to say too much unless you know having a general is an option for you as I read on here a while back that they were pushing women to have MVAs under local because of covid. But I’m happy to tell you about my experiences with both if you know both are on the table. I’m so very sorry for your loss. It’s the most incredible pain and awfulness, a nightmare you can’t wake up from, and the limbo bit is such a head fuck Flowers

MandsH · 13/12/2020 18:14

Hi @AnneLovesGilbert thanks so much for your reply. Would love to hear more about your experience with the MVA if you don’t mind talking about it? Did you just have local or were you offered any sort of sedative alongside? Was it quick? Painful? Bareable? Im really focussing on the practical of getting through this horrible experience so would like to know warts and all what to expect 😢

OP posts:
sockywock · 13/12/2020 18:19

Hi OP

I had an MVA in the summer of 2019, so can't help with any changes with covid.

I too didn't want a general. I was offered morphine but refused it.

I would take the morphine as I did find it very painful, BUT the pain was brief and the procedure extremely quick. I had a great nurse who held my hand and was able to have OH holding my other hand throughout, although of course I don't know what the rules are for that now - I bloody hope you'd be able to have support!

I think I would choose it again if I was in that position again.

As it turned out, I fell pregnant the following month and that time it stuck and I now have a 6 month older DC (and ended up with both morphine and a GA during birth!)

Sending you love and luck for whatever you decided and I'm sorry for your loss.

I'm happy to answer any questions if you have any!

mooskimoo · 13/12/2020 18:20

Hi guys, I am going through similar situation.
Due to go back for a re scan on weds.
Scan at 11 weeks showed 27mm
Empty sac- no foetus and no heartbeat.
Looking like I have blighted ovum. I am very accurate with my dates and with an internal they can see something from 6 weeks.
I am thinking of an MVA also,
Iv spoke to quite a few people about it and it sounds like the best option for me..... my friend is also a doctor on a gynae ward and she says this is what she would choose herself out of the choices. ....also with covid not sure general anesthetic is advisable at the moment.
Xx

sockywock · 13/12/2020 18:21

Also I completely agree with the hideousness of waiting. I remember being in absolute bits as they kept telling me to come back the next week etc. whilst also essentially confirming I'd lost the pregnancy. But they had to be 'sure'. I found it very distressing and hope you have clarity and a plan forward soon.

sockywock · 13/12/2020 18:22

Sorry, forgot to answer about the sedation. I was entirely conscious. The anaesthesia is simply an injection into the cervix which numbs the area somewhat, although not entirely in my experience.

kittlesticks · 13/12/2020 18:28

Hi there - I'm so sorry OP for your loss.

Just to speak up for having the general, I had to have 3 of these operations before I was able to have my 2 DCs. Obviously I don't 'recommend them' because of course it's an awful situation. However I found them absolutely fine. Recovery took about 3 or 4 days. I didn't bleed much after any of them.

mooskimoo · 13/12/2020 18:30

@MandsH Hi OP.
Have just commented on post.
Forgot to tag you so not sure if you can see it ?
Just to say I am in similar situation.
Have you checked your hospital offers
MVA? I am in a fairly rural area and they have only just started offering it and only one doctor is doing it so not sure if I will have it. If it is any help I have tirelessly looked into MVA the past few days and from what Iv read it is quite uncomfortable and somewhat painful... but over with within 15 mins from start to finish. They can also offer you gas and air snd pain killers! Also they said my partner can be with me so I'm sure this will be the case for you too. Some ladies have even said it's like a long smear test..
And the one thing I'v seen the most is that ladies all seem to say if they had the choice they would do it again ( out of the options) hope this makes you feel better. Can we stay in touch to see how things go for Eachother? X x

AnneLovesGilbert · 13/12/2020 18:34

Of course Flowers

It took about half an hour once I was in theatre. Had a local and wasn’t offered sedation. The local being done was actually the most painful bit and it was over really quickly. I hadn’t had a local before and got really bad shakes which lasted several hours afterwards but I was sent home after coffee and biscuits and felt okay that night. I then had some cramps and a bit of bleeding for a couple of days. Annoyingly I got an infection, pain in my upper abdomen but no other symptoms, a few days after and it cleared up with antibiotics.

They put the cervix opening suppository in a little while before you go into theatre so it’s soft and open before they do the procedure. As it was my third mc they took some tissue samples for testing which probably made it all take longer so without that it could be around 20 minutes I think.

The staff were incredibly kind, I cried the whole way through and a wonderful nurse stood by my head and held my hand and wiped my face.

Obviously, it’s a shit experience. The reason you’re having it is awful and while I didn’t find it painful after the local was done it’s uncomfortable. They did a TV scan once she’d finished to check everything was out but I don’t know if that’s standard. I’d had really severe pain from tissue getting stuck for a few days before I had the surgery.

In comparison, the ERPC was much more comfortable and far less traumatic emotionally. I’d had a GA a long time before for something else and wasn’t worried so as soon as the mmc was found, again, at the scan my consultant straight away said he recommended doing it under GA asap and I didn’t hesitate. With my first mmc I’d had twice failed medical management, really really bad pain and then the MVA and the second time I didn’t want to feel a thing. It was in, pre op checks, bed, into theatre, lovely anaesthetist and out like a light, then back on the ward pain free, minimal bleeding and home after the inevitable coffee and biscuits. I felt great coming round, so rested and comfortable and the recovery was quicker and easier - again a post op infection so I’m not blaming either procedure or surgeon, I was just unlucky.

I do completely understand your fears about a general, it’s a big deal. But if both are available I’d strongly recommend it.

Either way the staff will look after you and do what they can to make you comfortable. Having been through both my feeling is that losing a baby is hard enough without being aware of going through the process where they take it out of you and as the end result is the same I was glad the second time to be none the wiser about the details and wake up with it over to then start processing the grief.

I hope that’s not too graphic or upsetting. Makes total sense to focus on your options and being practical. It’s a while since I went through this but at the time there was very useful information on the miscarriage association website while might detail the options. My hospital gave out leaflets by them. They also have a phone line with limited hours so you could call them. They should have up to date information.

Happy to answer you can think of. I’ll check in on you.

MandsH · 13/12/2020 19:27

Thanks @AnneLovesGilbert I really appreciate all the detail. I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this so many times I can’t even imagine 😢. I think I’m still leaning towards an MVA but will ask if any other pain relief or sedation can be offered. I just keep obsessing worrying over the GA more so than the procedure which I know doesnt make sense but obviously little makes sense right now!

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MandsH · 13/12/2020 19:34

Hi @mooskimoo I’m so sorry you are going through this too 😢. It’s really reassuring to hear you are considering the same as me. I’m in Manchester will be at Wythenshawe hospital so I’m hoping I will have all options available to me but it’s making me extra anxious not knowing for sure because of covid and I’m expecting to be told that my husband cant be with me, my god it would be amazing if he could be though. I’ve had a couple of uncomfortable procedures whilst awake before (again was to avoid GA) had my wisdom teeth out and an endoscopy with just a throat spray. So I’m hoping although it won’t be pleasant that I’ll be able to bare it for 15 minutes. Yes please keep in touch what you decide. I wish you all the very best. It all just feels like a terrible nightmare doesnt it 😢

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mooskimoo · 13/12/2020 19:46

@MandsH hi, thanks for the reply. Do you know if partners are able to be at the hosp with your for scans in your area ?they are here....( in Hereford)
And they said my partner can be with me..
So hoping I can have it next week after my re scan weds. When do you have to go back for a re scan? I think with the MVA the nurses and doctors can really help to distract you as well. I think we have to do it , it's awful but it's part of the process. I'd be lying if I wasn't bricking it... but I think as long as I'm aware of how it might feel and what the process is I will be fine. Also, if you take tablets or wait for natural... that can be a prolonged pain and quite traumatic seeing the tissue and everything come out.
I really hope we will be ok... this was my first ever pregnancy and my first loss 😢 don't know if I can ever go through it again. X x

MandsH · 13/12/2020 20:08

Hi @mooskimoo partners aren’t allowed but they actually let my OH stay last week because I completely broke down. My rescan is tomorrow and just hoping they can get me booked in for the MVA ASAP because I cant wait any longer. I’m the same as you I like to know exactly what the process is going to be and lets face it we would probably be much better off being put asleep but for me that is just an extra feeling of being out of control. I’ve just been looking at extra pain relief options to ask about and I’m thinking either gas and air or morphine... This is also my first ever pregnancy and loss. I’m 35 and we’d been trying for 17 months before I fell pregnant and we were starting to fear we may have issues. Now this has happened and I just dont know if I could go through this again either. We really desperately want a family though but Im so scared Im not physically and emotionally strong enough. I also have other health issues so Im scared they have had a play in this happening. I really hope you will be okay too xx

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mooskimoo · 13/12/2020 20:27

Am so sorry, this is so awful isn't it.
Please let me know how you get on tomorrow. The waiting is just the worst isn't it. I'm 29
And we were trying since June.... I know it's not long but I was thinking the same too that something might be wrong. I so feel the same about not knowing what to do after this is over.. am currently thinking we will get another german shepherd to join our current fur baby... who knows. I suffer a lot with anxiety so just want it over with. Agree about the general... iv had it before snd find the anxiety of not knowing when your going to wake up a bit much.
For pain I am thinking maybe cocodomol and the gas and air. Maybe brufen first.. they will go through it all with us tho im sure. A way to be pragmatic is to think we were prepared to go through labour and that intense agony so I'm sure we can prepare mentally for this... unfortunately it's just not got the same lovely outcome... however it does have a positive outcome in someways... that as soon as it's over we can have instant closure and begin to heal right away.... xxxx

TheDaydreamBelievers · 13/12/2020 22:35

I had an ECPC under general on Nov 30th following a MMC (baby died at 10+5, discovered at 12+2). Its taking a while for the (very light) bleeding to stop and for the pregnancy tests to go negative but I've had zero pain at all. The only downsides to the procedure was having to isolate from my husband for 3 days and being alone at the hospital due to covid19

PumpkinEverything · 13/12/2020 23:07

@MandsH so sorry for your loss and completely understand what you’re going through. I want to share my experience with you to see if it helps you at all.
I had a MMC where the baby stopped growing at 8 weeks and I found out at 9 weeks. I found out on the 25th November and they explained the options to me, and at that moment I was completely set on waiting for it happen naturally. As a week passed and I thought about it more, and spoke to some lovely people on here, I decided that I wanted surgical management under GA. I wasn’t 100% sure I’d be offered it as the nurse was hesitant explaining it to me the first time, but when I rang them they booked me to come in the next day for blood work and to to through the options again. They explained the risks but in no way pushed or persuaded me into choosing anything else. I had to go back two days later for a covid test, and I then had my surgery two days later (which was Tuesday of this week).
They gave me three tablets to take that morning at 6am after calling up to make sure they had a bed. I arrived in hospital at 745, they gave me a bed, a gown and socks, and then came round to speak to me about the procedure and anaesthetic. I was then called for at around 830-845 (I think I was first) and they brought me down to get the thing in your hand for the anaesthetic. That part probably frightened me the most, but it was actually fine and they were really nice and spoke to me the whole time putting the needle in my hand. A few minutes later I was on the table for surgery with people around me telling me to breath in and out. Before I knew it I was asleep and awake at 945, feeling like I’d just woke up from a deep sleep that I wasn’t ready to wake up from. They kept me there for 15 mins or so until the nurse came down to bring me back to the ward. I stayed there for a while and they gave me tea and toast, and made sure I could pee and I was then picked up by my husband to go home at 1.
I had no bleeding for the first two days, but since then have had some cramps and bleeding (both red and brown) off and on. My hormones feel all over the place and I feel quite emotional, but I am confident that I choose the right procedure.
Some background on me is that I am scared of hospitals and my biggest fear is getting blood tests, so this was all my biggest nightmare. The more I thought about this happening at home and seeing everything and not knowing what to do, or losing so much blood and having to go to hospital frightened me so much more than going to the hospital. My anxiety was terrible thinking about all this, and choosing surgery meant I actually had more control of it.
I too was scared of the GA as I’ve never had it before and I was scared I wouldn’t wake up again. I’m the type of person who doesn’t like taking painkillers, or too many of them as well, but I really found it fine.
I considered having it under local anaesthetic, but I really didn’t want to be aware of what was happening to me as I was scared of being traumatised by it after, which is why I opted for general.

I’m sorry if this is too much and I’m rambling, but I really just wanted to share my story as I can see how frightened you are and alone you must feel and I really just hope this helps even a little bit!

MandsH · 14/12/2020 17:05

Thanks everyone so much for sharing your stories it definitely has helped me not feel so alone @PumpkinEverything @mooskimoo @sockywock @kittlesticks @TheDaydreamBelievers @AnneLovesGilbert
We’ve had the confirmation scan at the hospital this morning and had to make our choice. Im going for the MVA with just local anaesthetic and Ill have cocodamol, ibruprofen and gas and air on hand if needed. Appt is Thursday at 12 but have to have blood tests and sign the consent forms tomorrow. I’m still so scared and hope this is the right decision. The first consultant who scanned me really tried to sway me away from the MVA saying its really painful especially to dilate the cervix and this being my first pregnancy and risk of severe bleeding etc. She really tried to push medical management on me and to try manage at home. She said MVA shouldnt be done past 10 weeks and that even though the embryo is less than 6mm that the sac may be more embedded in the lining of my womb at 10+ weeks and harder to pry away. But then afterwards the nurse discussed all the options with us she said shes not heard that said before and that MVA seems like a good option for me and yeah it shouldnt be done past 10 weeks but Im measuring nowhere near that its measuring 6 weeks. She then sent my scan to another consultant, the one who would be doing it, and she spoke to him on the phone and he said from my scan hed be more than happy to do an MVA. Was so confusing and really made me doubt my decision and now I’m even more afraid. Just need this part to be over! 😢

OP posts:
sockywock · 14/12/2020 18:26

@MandsH I've had both medical management and an MVA and in my opinion MVA was much easier.

I did find it painful, quite acutely so, but the pain was so brief and the whole procedure took probably less than ten minutes! Whereas for me medical management was much more prolonged, and pain lasted much longer. You may find it less painful though with gas and air and painkillers, I was just really averse to it at the time due to anxiety so didn't have any!

I can honestly say it was overall as positive an experience as it could have been. Make sure you rest plenty afterwards.

Think I bled for maybe 10-14 days and started my first normal period exactly 30 days after the procedure. The nurse said to me that you're more likely to have a successful pregnancy if you try again fairly soon after MC and this held true for me.

All the best OP, take care and get plenty of rest xx

MandsH · 14/12/2020 18:53

Thank you @sockywock really good to hear from someone who has gone through both, although I’m sorry of course to hear you’ve been through this twice. I can’t even imagine trying to get pregnant again right now but maybe I’ll feel differently once this is over.

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sockywock · 14/12/2020 18:58

Of course, totally a personal choice and I definitely felt the same - really didn't even want to think about going through it again and the subsequent pregnancy was full of anxiety especially in the early days. You don't even have to think about it for now.

I felt so much better in a strange way once it was done as the horrible waiting period was over and I felt I could seek closure. Love to you and your family OP.

MandsH · 14/12/2020 21:17

Thank you @sockywock Flowers

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dreamadream1 · 14/12/2020 21:27

Hi OP

So sorry for your loss ❤️

I've had 3 D&C's and found them the best course of action, it's a simple procedure with light anaesthesia and quick recovery physically.

Sending my love x

mooskimoo · 17/12/2020 20:43

Hi @MandsH how did you get on today? I had my blighted ovum confirmed yesterday and had booked in for MVA tomorrow, however I have started bleeding last night so am going to try my best to miscarry naturally as was too scared to go through with the MVA. How did it go for you today? Xxx

MandsH · 17/12/2020 21:01

Hi @mooskimoo it was a long day today but the MVA went as well as could be expected. It was nowhere near as bad as I imagined. Yes it was an unpleasant experience and felt incredibly weird, but pain wise it was no worse than bad period pains for a few seconds at intervals and the whole procedure was done in 10 minutes. I’m so glad I went through with it and I felt a big relief as soon as it was done. I actually found the anti-d injection to be the most painful part as I discovered today I am Rhesus Negative too. I really hope your natural miscarriage happens soon hun and isn’t too long and painful for you. If you decide to go ahead with the MVA though please do not be scared. Sending hugs Flowers

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mooskimoo · 17/12/2020 21:13

@MandsH so pleased it went ok
For you! I am really hoping this happens quickly for me. As the sac is only 24mm now and is totally empty I'm hoping it won't be too hard to pass. Fingers crossed the worst is over by Christmas Day xxxxx