Please please help give me some hope

[Anniepole]

Hey guys. I'm heartbroken and I need some hope

I've just come out of surgery for my 5th miscarriage.

My first was a MMC at 9 weeks resulting in surgical management - we were sad but understood it can be normal.

3 natural miscarriages later we went and had private help who discovered a thyroid problem. I've been on medication to help it and my levels became within the perfect range and then we got pregnant again!

At 8 weeks we saw a heartbeat- our little tiny baby. I knew this time we would have a tiny baby.

The next week my symptoms faded I tried to reassure myself but at our 10 weeks scan our baby had decided it wasn't to carry on.

I got straight into surgery that day which I am so grateful for. They're sending "it" off for genetic testing.

I'm just sat, heartbroken, empty, angry.

Has anyone got any thoughts, where are the best private clinics? Do I wait for NHS help? How do I cope? How do I get through Christmas? Please help xxxx

Anniepole I am so sorry you lost your baby

The hormones need to settle a bit, I had a day of crying 4 days after my surgery last week which I think was a hormone or maybe just emotional crash.
It sounds like the genetic testing could give you some important answers. Do you know how long you have to wait for the results?
I don't know anything about thyroid issues but I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone and please use this website for support.The miscarriage association has a hepline Monday to Friday which is a good source of info and support.
Private clinics I have heard are good but are expensive are in London The Fertility Partnership, CRGH, Zita West, I'm sure there are many more. I suppose the question is how long do you have to wait to see the NHS and are you OK with the fees privately.

Be kind to yourself and it's ok to sit in bed, cry, whatever you want, it's very tough. x

I can only tell you how we got through those childless Christmases when we'd been pregnant and counting on hanging out a little stocking 'next year'.

We booked a remote cottage with a log fire and moorland all around. We packed our favourite seasonal no-cook foods (cheeses, pâté etc) and bottles of champagne. Then we spent Christmas Day grazing and sipping and walking.

The trick is never to feel full or tipsy, just to take the edge off. I still feel sad thinking about how devastated we were, but it did come right for us in the end. Keep pestering your health professionals until they pull out all the stops just to shut you up. Don't be a patient patient; be a persistent irritant.

Huge hugs, and may 2021 be your year!

Huge hugs for you @anniepole. I’ve been there and it is exquisitely painful and awful.

There is hope. For us, 9 miscarriages over 7 years. Started trying for DC when I was 28. Now 45 with 3 gorgeous DC.

Be kind to yourself xxxx

I am so sorry for your losses @Anniepole
Have you had any recurrent miscarriage tests? They check for clotting issues mainly under the nhs. None of my tests revealed anything (I've had 4 losses). I am still waiting for my baby's cytogenetic results after my loss in October - it's been 11 weeks now.

We've moved onto a private clinic now and I'm at the CRP Clinic under Dr Shehata who specifically looks at immune factors for recurrent losses. He found that I have an aggressive immune system which means my body attacks the pregnancy. I'm on a treatment plan now and feeling hopeful that we will get our baby. The nhs advice was just keep going but we didn't feel like we could keep putting ourselves through the trauma and needed answers. I don't have a happy ending yet, but I feel like I'm on the right path now.

Sending lots of love ❤️ xxx

Thank you so so much everyone for your replies. My husband gentle suggested I put my phone away yesterday and we just chatted, cried and wrapped Christmas presents.

I've written lots of questions down to speak to a clinic. I'm waiting for the testing to see if there's any genetic abnormalities. @VenusStarr you sound like you've been waiting such a long time?? That can't be right, we were told we'd know by the end of this week.

I keep flipping between being super positive and utter despair. I feel so lonely. I hate how snapping I'm being and it makes me more sad.

Thank you so much for being so lovely I really need the kindness from people who have been there and understand xxxxxx

Sorry for your losses . We are in the same boat . Just gone through my 5th early loss in a row . This was on progesterone which just delayed the inevitable.
All my testing has come back normal .
My gut feeling is it’s age . I’m 36 and had my son in 28 with no issues .

I’ve considered private and shehata but something is holding me back :mainly the cost and the fact that from what I’ve read all ladies that seem him seem to have nk cells .

I’m going to see brosens for a womb biopsy . To me it makes more sense to see what’s going on with the implantation site re nk cells .

X