Missed Miscarriage - feeling so sad

[bubblybrit]

I was booked for a private scan this afternoon where I expected to be 11 weeks. However, I was told that she could only see a yolk sac which would place me around 5 weeks.

My dates would need to be way off or else baby stopped developing at this time.

I fell pregnant the month after stopping my pill so didn’t have the chance to track cycle length but doubt my dates are out by 6 weeks.

Hence it seems as if I’ve had a missed miscarriage.

The clinic want to rescan on the 22nd to be on the safe side but I feel as if that’s almost giving me hope when really hope is lost to me.

I was so excited and looking forward to sharing the news with everyone over Christmas.

I’m just so sad.

Wow, we are having pretty much the same experience. I am 11 weeks now and due to have my 12 week scan next Tuesday. However I have been having brown discharge for over a week so went to A&E and was referred for an early scan. Yesterday I had the scan and the sonographer said he could only detect a tiny baby the size of what it would be at 6 weeks. I know my dates are correct so I know this isn't good news for me. I have to go back on the 22nd for another scan to confirm the worst. I have had no bleeding or cramps and no obvious miscarriage symptoms so this must be a misses miscarriage. I also still show as pregnant when I do a test and I have mild symptoms.

This is my first pregnancy so I am heart broken and scared. I can't offer much help but if it helps then you are definitely not alone!

@Tartanblanket1000. Thank you for your reply. I’m sorry that you find yourself in a similar position to me. I was completely blindsided today as I’ve not had any bleeding, pain or discomfort. I’ve still got all my pregnancy symptoms as well.

I don’t understand how I would have gotten a positive pregnancy test if baby didn’t develop after 5 weeks (given that I didn’t find out I was pregnant until 7/8 weeks). I would have thought levels would have dropped by then 😢

I know that the rescan will confirm the worst but hate having it hang over me as part of me wants to hope for the best even although I know it’s pointless.

I’m sorry @bubblybrit and @Tartanblanket1000. I also due to go for a rescan in a week.

I was given leaflets about miscarriage and told DH can go with me next time, as well as being told that didn’t want to give me false hope -so there obviously isn’t much hope.

Having to wait is horrible as I want to grieve but can’t allow myself to. I’m sure about my dates.

@Teaanddimebars. I think I’m creating false hope due to my circumstances.

My first period after I came off the pill was 27th Sept (100% sure as I made note of it). However I fell pregnant quickly so was unable to track cycle length. I seem to be holding on to the fact that perhaps I ovulated later than normal given cycles didn’t have time to settle after coming off the pill.

I know I am setting myself up for a fall but can’t help it 😢

I’m sorry to hear that you are going through similar. It’s so rubbish.

I’ve still got hope too but I wish I didn’t. It makes it harder

I’ve been googling late ovulation and trying to work out dates. I know it’s completely useless but I can’t let it go.

@Teaanddimebars that's good your husband can go with you for the next scan. I had to go to my scan yesterday alone and I don't think my husband will be allowed to come with me for the next one but I will try and push for it. It's so unfair to make the woman go alone. Especially as he would have been allowed to come to my 12 week scan so why isn't he allowed to come to my emergency scans?!

@bubblybrit It's good to hope in your situation. I was tracking my periods on an app so I know I can't have got my dates wrong. I still have a tiny bit of hope myself that maybe the sonographer just couldn't find the baby for some reason and he'll be able to next time... I won't be able to completely let go until I'm told for sure.

It's just so horrible to go through, especially this time of year and also with all the covid restrictions :-(

I am reading lots of positive stories of people who went on to have successful pregnancies after a miscarriage so that's giving me hope.

@Tartanblanket1000. I think it’s natural to cling on to some hope. I’m feeling less positive by the hour as I’ve had light brown spotting this evening. Fingers crossed that your rescan is successful x

Unfortunately I can’t help, but didn’t want to not comment on your post. You are not alone in this, and there are lots of us experiencing the same thing who can help to support you. I really do hope your dates are wrong and that you get good news at your scan when you go back 😔

@Tartanblanket1000 I have just experienced a missed miscarriage where I had no symptoms of anything being wrong either 😔 I went for a scan expecting to be 9 weeks, to find out the baby stopped growing at 8. I had saw a heartbeat at 6 weeks. I went almost another two weeks before i had surgical management (that was 4 days ago) and up until then I still had no symptoms of anything being wrong either. I did have a loss of the very few pregnancy symptoms I’d had though.

Thank you @PumpkinEverything. I’m so sorry that you’ve also experienced this. It’s so awful when you think that everything is ok and then the rug is pulled out beneath you. Can I ask how quickly you were able to look in for surgical management once your loss had been confirmed?

Sorry @PumpkinEverything. I misread your initial post and can see that you answered my question!

@bubblybrit it’s terrible 😔 I’d honestly been anxious my whole pregnancy, and it makes me wonder had I always known something was wrong, but who knows!
I went for my scan on the 25th November and that’s when I found out. They booked me in for a follow up appointment two weeks later but gave me a number to call 24 hours a day if I had any bleeding or wanted to pick one of the options. I called them just over a week later on the 3rd December after I made up my own mind, they asked me to come in the next day on the 4th for a blood test and to discuss the options as I had decided on surgical management. I then had to come back again on the 6th for a covid test, and they then had me booked in for the morning 8th. It was all fairly quick for me, and I’d say if it wasn’t for it being over the weekend they could have had me in sooner than the 8th. I had in my head that I’d be waiting 1-2 weeks for the appointment, but no! I’m in NI, so not sure if that made a difference as I think lots of areas and trusts are different.

@PumpkinEverything. I was also anxious before my scan but I’m a worrier by nature so tried to put it out of my mind...maybe I should have listened more to prepare me for the worst. I let myself get excited this week and started to think what next xmas would be like as we’d be a family of 4 😞!

My next scan was supposed to be on the 19th but got a call to re-arrange until the 22nd as the receptionist muddled up the availability.

I just want it all to be over now. Still have a number of pregnancy symptoms which is so hard when there’s no baby.

I hope you are recovering well from your surgery at least physically. I know that emotionally it will prob take a while.

@bubblybrit I know 😔 this was my first pregnancy and we would have been able to tell everyone at Christmas too so I completely understand how you’re feeling about how nice it would be to tell everyone then!
I found it very hard to feel like I could move on until after the surgery and I was so anxious about my miscarriage happening naturally and was scared to leave the house for two weeks incase of bleeding. It felt like a weight was lifted after the surgery, but I’ve also felt a lot of sadness the last two days as it’s started to hit me again what has happened. I feel like I just want to physically heal now so that I’m not reminded of it and so we can hopefully start trying again soon to try and help.

@PumpkinEverything. I just feel that things are dragging on already. Need to wait 10 days for a rescan which is likely to confirm the worst. Then will need to wait again to manage miscarriage (if it doesn’t happen naturally in the meantime).

Then goodness knows how long it will take to get another BFP. I’m just super stressed as I’m almost 37 so might take a little longer than I’d like.

I hope you recover soon in order to start TTC again. Fingers crossed next time it’s a little sticky bean x

@PumpkinEverything I’m so sorry for your loss, I have had 2 miscarriages this year- my first at 10 weeks and then second when I went to my 12 weeks scan I was told there was no heart beat- from my experiences I would certainly opt for medical management, I felt it was a much more controlled and easier experience... it was so painful doing it myself and I was constantly worried I was flushing what I saw as my baby down the toilet (I know it sounds so silly)... you really aren’t alone and my heart hurts constantly but I know there are brighter days ahead, I wish you a much happier 2021- hopefully it will be our year xxxxx

Sorry @PumpkinEverything I meant to tag @bubblybrit xxx @bubblybrit please see my previous message xx

Oh it is so sad, when this happens. thinking of you.

That’s okay @HopingForARainbowxx so sorry for your loss ❤️ What you have said does not sound silly at all, I too was worried about what to do if it happened at home and whether I would be able to flush the toilet or would I feel guilty about it. They had given me a ‘hat’ as they called it to catch it which gave me anxiety everytime I saw it in the bathroom. I choose surgical management in the end so that I didn’t have to see anything and I definitely feel like that was the right choice for me

Thank you @HopingForARainbowxx and for everyone else that has offered support and kindness.

I’m currently miscarrying as heavy bleeding and cramps started naturally a few hours ago. I knew in my heart that it would end this way but was praying that my dates were out.

I’m so sorry to those who have experienced this. Wishing that 2021 is a much better year for us all!

So sorry to hear that @bubblybrit I hope you get through the night okay 😔 there’s a post on here for dealing with the practicalities of miscarriage that I recommend reading that will hopefully help you tonight. I hope you have a hot water bottle and a nice blanket to lie cuddled up in

Thank you @PumpkinEverything. The worst seems to have passed. I’m still bleeding but not heavily. I’ve taken today and tomorrow off work so that I can rest. Should I call the EPU today? I assume I’ll need to be checked to make sure that it’s been a complete miscarriage. Sorry for the questions. It’s my first miscarriage so don’t really know the process.

That’s okay @bubblybrit it was my first pregnancy too so still learning as well. When I had went up and found out in the first place, they booked me to come back two weeks later but said if anything happened before then to give them a ring. So I think it would be best to call them just to see what they say! Hope you’re feeling okay

I do have a DD @PumpkinEverything but it’s my first miscarriage. No one really gives you any details of what to do so I was using Dr Google!

I have called them and booked in tomorrow to ensure that the miscarriage is complete.

At least I feel as if I’m moving forward. Still unbelievably painful but at least I’m not stuck in limbo.

Wishing you all the best for 2021. Would be nice to see each other pop up in the conception/pregnancy boards.

Thank you for all your support.

Take care x x

Hope everything goes as well as it can do tomorrow for you @bubblybrit I think it’s such a relief to feel like you’re not stuck in that place just waiting!

I’ve actually just found a really lovely board that I’ve joined in on that you might want to join when you’re ready!
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/4076350-TTC-after-MC-November-2020-Thread-15?watched=1&msgid=102605543#102605543