I lost my baby at the end of May. I wrote here on the time - it was during lockdown and I had to be admitted to hospital alone as I was bleeding lots, and a doctor there did a speculum examination where he removed the “pregnancy remains” (I really hated that he never said ‘baby’ but didn’t say anything at the time!). I then had a rubbish time after, bled for 72 days for no known reason.
We wanted to ‘try’ straight away, but due to the complications I didn’t ovulate again until around September time. I really thought I’d be pregnancy again by my due date and it would help me get through. But here we are - I’m still not pregnant, 3 of my friends that were due around the same time as me have all had their lovely babies (and I say congratulations and how cute their babies are while secretly furious that they got theirs and I didn’t get mine) and feeling like Monday is going to be awful.
I have too much work on Monday to even just call in sick and spend the day in bed. I have an (absolutely amazing) almost 2 year old who has been the main thing getting me through this all, and I’d love to spend the day doing nothing with her but if I don’t work Monday it’s going to have me chasing my tail the rest of the week.
I know I was “only” 11 weeks pregnant, but I’m still struggling to come to terms with it. I’m not really sure what the point of this thread is other than I just needed to have a rant and get out my feelings. I hope it gets easier after the 7th, I feel like I’ve been dreading this day as I know I should have either had a newborn in my arms by now, or been heavily pregnant and eagerly waiting their arrival. Miscarriage is crap.