Missed miscarriage

[puzzled198]

I had my first scan yesterday at a private clinic. I should have been 11 weeks pregnant, but the baby only measured as 7 weeks (11mm) and had no heartbeat. Apparently my gestation sac measured as 9 weeks. I don't really understand what that means - it sounds like my sac continued to grow for a bit even after the baby stopped developing. I've experienced no bleeding throughout the pregnancy, but did feel like my symptoms had eased over the last few weeks.

This morning I spoke with my GP who said they would contact the maternity ward at my hospital and that they would be in touch. They called me back this afternoon and I'm booked in for a confirmation scan on Monday morning. They explained that if the baby measured under 7mm I'd need two scans, but assuming my first private scan was accurate at 11mm, this hopefully won't be necessary.

I asked about options over the phone. My preference would be for surgical management to remove the pregnancy, but they said they're not routinely offering that and that I'd be offered medical management or just wait for the pregnancy to end naturally. I really don't want to wait, it's been 4 weeks and nothing has happened. I'm also unhappy about the medical management option as I've read that the bleeding can continue for weeks and it has a lower success rate than the surgical option. Do I kick up a fuss and insist on the surgical option? I got the impression that if I was pushy this could be offered, although I'm not sure I'm in the right headspace to be assertive enough to be offered this. I feel like I'm just going to be talked into the medical option.

I'm sorry if anyone else is going through this experience. I wanted to document the process as it's therapeutic for me, and may be helpful for others going through the same thing. This is my first pregnancy (unplanned), and I've already made a decision that I won't put myself through this again. I'll update again after my appointment on Monday.

I also have 3 boxes of Pregnacare Max tablets that I no longer need. One box has been opened with 2 days supply used, the other boxes are unopened. I don't want this stuff lying around as a reminder. Can I donate it anywhere? If not it's going in the bin which seems like a massive waste as it's really expensive.

@puzzled198 hi lovely, I'm so sorry you're going through this... I had the same news on Wednesday, I was 8 weeks but baby measuring around 6 weeks with no heartbeat. I had my follow up scan today at the hospital to confirm the miscarriage and discussed my options.

I have opted for the medical management, which I have started today... Surgical did cross my mind but I was advised that's generally last port of call as it can cause scarring in the uterus and worse case can preferate it, causing permanent damage and I didn't want to take the risk, as we do want to try again in the future.

Ultimately it's your desicion and what sits right with you, there's no right or wrong decision.. I was just told today that they're not doing general anaesthetic due to COVID so would be local if you did chose the surgical option.

This whole thing is heartbreaking, as I know exactly how you feel.. I'm sending love and support out to you lovely. We'll get through this.

@charisann93 Thank you so much for your message, and sorry you're going through this too. It's really shit. I felt so sad last night going to bed knowing I had something that has died inside of me. I just want this over as quickly as possible, so I can start to move on. I think that's why my preference is for the surgical procedure as I don't want things to drag. I hope your medical management doesn't cause you too much discomfort, and that you have a successful pregnancy next time. I can't believe how common this is. I had no idea that you could miscarry without bleeding, so it was a shock yesterday. Sending love and support to you too.

I'm sorry this is happening @puzzled198.

I've just had my 3rd missed miscarriage. I had all the same worries as you about the medical management and wanted surgery but they were only doing it under local and I couldn't face it. My medical management was actually less painful than my 2 natural miscarriages and if I'm in the same position in the future I'd opt for it again. I won't lie, none of the options are a choice any of us would want to take. But my experience wasn't like the borrow stories I've read about.

Sending love. X

Ps, if you wanted to pass on the pregnacare, I'd be happy to buy it.

so sorry 2 hear this @puzzled198 - its a really sh*tty time and such a shock when u find this out. we found out last week when should have been 10+ that was only 6 and was waiting for another scan to confirm due to measurements. i thought was going to have to make a hard decision like u, but actually between scans its all happened naturally. i thought like u that it had been 5 weeks so clearly wasnt going to happen - but just suddenly it did. is it worth waiting like a week to see? tbf i wouldnt have taken that option, i wanted to just get sorted so would entirely empathise with u just doing something. can u ask about option for MVA under local?? my trust were offering that as an alternative to surgical but said if id really wanted to be put to sleep for surgical then theyd do it. if its what u want, id push for it. and if u dont feel assertive is there anyone u could take...assuming theyd even let u have anyone in with u :( anyway, take care of yourself and so sorry to hear your news. x

@VenusStarr Thank you, and I'm very sorry this has happened again for you. It's reassuring that you didn't find the medical management the most painful. Perhaps I've been googling too much, and it won't be as bad as I'm imagining. If you send me a PM with your address I'm happy to post you the pregnacare. I don't want any money for it, but if you want to contribute please make a donation to a miscarriage charity instead. Take care X

Thank you @puzzled198 I've sent you a pm.

Sending you love xx

@leftitlate37 It is very shitty, and definitely a shock when you haven't had any bleeding. I'm very sorry to hear about your experience. Since I found out yesterday I've been having a lot of cramping, so I've been wondering if it will happen naturally or if my cramps are just due to stress. I don't think waiting is a good option for me as I feel like I'm in limbo at the moment. I'd be ok with the MVA option, my partner is coming with me on Monday and he is wonderful and supportive, so that will help. Thank you and take care of yourself too X

I had exactly that too, cramps started Tuesday and then kinda all started Wednesday. I hope for your sake it happens naturally soon or if not u get the option u need. Take good care of yourself, hot water and paracetamol were always good i found! Glad your partner can come Monday, its bad enough as it is but with covid rules can just add to the pain...i think some places are starting to accommodate partners when the news is crap, just hope they do it everywhere. Xx

I also went the medical management route on Monday. I had to take 3 tablets vaginally and the bleeding started around 1 hour later. You are given strong painkillers and anti sickness meds as well.

I took painkillers on the first day only, didn't need them after that and didn't need the anti sickness meds at all. The bleeding was heavy with big clotts for the first two days and then from day 4 I was able to use my normal pads. By the way way the tena lady pads are awesome! They are massive so you feel protected on day 1 and 2.

I've had medical management before where I took the pill orally at the hospital and then a second tablet when I got home. That time I didn't use any painkillers at all, it was all very straightforward. But that wasn't an option at the hospital I went to this time.

Oh one more thing, if you go down the medical route, don't take the meds just before bed. I took them at 11pm and then was up most of the night in and out of the loo. The next day I was out of it and spend most of the day in bed sleeping and recovering.

So sorry for your loss, hope you have someone taking good care of you

Hi

This also happened to me less than 2 years ago, I went for my routine 12 week scan to find out not only had I had a missed miscarriage, but also to be told they were twins with no heartbeat 🥺 they had stopped growing around 8 weeks.
I also like you had no symptoms of a miscarriage but looking back my pregnancy symptoms had eased off. I opted for the surgery, I couldn’t bare walking round day in day out waiting for them to pass naturally as they had already had that chance for the past 4 weeks.

There is light at the end of the tunnel, I’m currently 36 weeks pregnant with my first baby, I’ll never forget what happened though.

Hope your ok & your getting lots of support ❤️

@PenguNoodle I'm very sorry you're going through this too. Thank you for sharing your experience of the medical management, I'm feeling less nervous of this option now. I've bought some Always maternity pads, so hopefully they will do the job. I'm very lucky that I have an amazing partner and we are supporting each other through this. Thinking of you and all the other ladies having to deal with this right now😔. X

@Littlepip02 I'm sorry you went through that, that must have been really tough finding out you were carrying twins as well. I've had a few days to think about it, and I think I will go for the medical management. I haven't told my parents about this, and it doesn't feel right having an operation under general anaesthetic without telling them (I know the risks of anything going wrong are really low, but the idea makes me feel uncomfortable).

Congratulations on your latest pregnancy, that's wonderful news. X

I totally understand you going for that option if your parents don’t know, I think I’d feel the same.
Take care of yourself and give yourself lots of time to recover ❤️

I woke up this morning (after a few days of cramping) and wiped away a minuscule amount of blood (brown in colour) when I went to the toilet. I went to the hospital as planned and made my way over to the maternity block. Once I arrived I had to provide a urine sample, and was then asked to take a seat in the waiting room.

Next I was taken over to a nurse who took my blood pressure. I was then taken back to the waiting room. Next the sonographer took me away for the scan to confirm what I already knew. Then back to the waiting room.

Next I was taken into a private room with a different nurse and given leaflets about the different options available. I was told surgical management was not an option at this stage and that I could either wait for things to pass naturally or opt for the medical management. I was then asked about the pregnancy remains, and if I'd like my tissues examined to identify the remains for a burial. I wasn't expecting that question, the nurse said that some people bury them in the garden. That wasn't something I was interested in doing. Am I terrible person for just flushing the miscarriage down the loo? I confirmed medical management as my preferred option and the nurse said I needed to see the doctor to talk through the process.

I stayed in the private room and waited for the doctor to arrive. The doctor explained the procedure. I'd have to insert 4 tablets into my vagina in the morning, and then lie down for around an hour until they dissolved. Within a couple of hours they should start to work and I'd experience heavy bleeding and cramping. The bleeding/pain should begin to ease by the evening, so I'd be able to get to sleep. The doctor said that they'd run out of codeine, so they couldn't offer me any stronger pain relief. She recommended I buy co-codamol over the counter and take ibuprofen as well (spacing it out, so I was taking pain relief every 2 hours). They gave my the tablets, but said I'd need a blood test first to confirm my haemoglobin levels were ok. They'd take my blood and then call me this afternoon to confirm if I was ok to take the tablets.

I was then taken to another room and one of the earlier nurses took my blood. They asked if I'd drunk much that day as it was really slow to draw my blood (I had 2 small glasses of water). I was then free to go home!

I had a call this afternoon and my bloods are all fine, so can take the tablets tomorrow morning. I've had a little bit more bleeding (just spotting). The doctor said if the blood starts to really flow I shouldn't take the tablets, but if it continues to just be spotting I can go ahead.

Everyone at the hospital was very kind and supportive. I wasn't expecting to see so many different people, but I guess that's how things are managed.

I'll update again tomorrow and share my experience of taking the misoprostol tablets.

Hope everyone else going through this is holding up ok.

good luck @puzzled198 - sounds like a hectic/busytime at the hosp. Did they give u any indication about cramps and bleeding youve just had? this is exactly how mine started...within 12-24h of a bit of brown blood it was all happening by itself. maybe youll find you don't need the tablets? good luck anyway,did u get some other painkillers from the docs? I wish id had cocodamol i gotta say! really glad you found everyone so supportive and kind :) it helps so much at such a sh*t time.
i had a follow up scan yesterday, it's all "resolving" -which u know, is good, but then sad when they confirm the sac and everything has gone- just feels so much more final.
re your other point, i flushed down the loo - i had heard people say they could identify sac and fetus etc. to be perfectly honest, when it all happened for me it was such a shock, had a lot of pain and hadnt slept... and TMI....there was just so much that came out, that it was just natural to flush. i do feel a bit guilty now when looking back im pretty sure thats when the bulk of it all came out. everyones different tho and u have to do whats right for u.
Anyway, just to let u know,thinking of you - take good care of yourself wont u over the next few days. xx

Hi everyone,
So sorry to read your updates. Thank you though as it really helps.
I’m currently 7 weeks 5 days but all pregnancy symptoms have disappeared and I have a strong stabbing pain to my right. I’m booked in for a scan at the EPU tomorrow but feel like I already know the outcome, I just feel totally different to how I did only a few day’s ago.

Sending you all love 💕

Hey @Namechangedforthisoct2 sorry to hear you've got some strong pains:( glad you can be seen by the EPU tomorrow, really hope its all good news and u get some reassurance. Its really really stressful all this isn't it :( let us know how u get on tomorrow. Fingers crossed for u x

Thank you @leftitlate37, I’m so sorry you’ve just gone through this. Thank you for sharing your experience regarding what course of actions to take, it really helps to know this ahead of tomorrow.
Stomach pains have gotten worse so planning for bad news tomorrow. Xx

@leftitlate37 I ended up taking the tablets this morning (6am), and they've just started to work now (9.30pm) when I was about to go to bed. I've been alternating between nurofen plus and solpadeine max every couple of hours to ease the pain. Thinking of you too, i agree it's sad, but also a bit of a relief when you know things are resolving. X

@Namechangedforthisoct2 I hope you had some good news today, and that your pain has eased. X

So I inserted the 4 misoprostol this morning at 6am, assuming things would start to happen a few hours later. Nothing happened until 9.30pm (over 15 hours later). I can feel where my cervix has dilated when I pass blood which is a bit strange. I haven't passed any large clots yet.

I was getting worried I'd have to go back to the hospital, as they said that if the process hadn't started by tomorrow morning I'd have to go back in for another dose of the medication. I think it's going to be a long night. Feeling really numb at the moment and completely unemotional. I'll update again tomorrow.

Take care everyone! X

Hi @puzzled198 I’m so sorry it’s taking so long, that must be agonising and making it so much worse, sending you lots of love and support
Had the scan yesterday, all is ok. Pain is (probably) due to an burst cyst on my ovaries several years ago.

So sorry you’re going though this xxx

UPDATE
As mentioned in my last post, I took the misoprostol on Tuesday morning, and started to bleed later that evening. I recommend maternity pads, as the flow of blood is much heavier than a normal period over the first couple of days. I could feel where my cervix had opened (strange feeling).

I had a morbid curiosity with what was coming out, so did check some of what I wiped, but did not see anything that looked baby shaped. It was lots of blobs of blood and stringy bits. A few times I felt like I had to push a bit before I passed clots/tissue. There was one push where I heard a plop in the toilet, I couldn't see what it was as there was blood already in the toilet. Perhaps that was the sac, I'm not sure.

My bleeding was heavy on Tuesday night and Wednesday, and then Thursday and Friday just like a regular period. Today (5 days later) my bleeding has stopped, and my body feels back to normal (physically). My boobs have gone back to their regular size. I experienced cramping during the process, but it wasn't as bad as I expected. Obviously this is a horrible thing to go through, but for me, the medical management was quick and wasn't too painful (it did hurt, but wasn't excruciating). I suffer from migraines, and I found this less painful than my migraines. I had really bad fatigue up until yesterday, but I'm feeling more energetic now (I started taking liquid iron).

I had a phone call from the hospital on Thursday, and they said that I didn't need to go in again, and that I should take a pregnancy test in 3 weeks to check everything has passed. I felt a bit alone after that, nobody will be checking up on me anymore. The pregnancy is officially over.

I still don't think I've dealt with things mentally yet, but physically I'm glad it's all done.

I'm really sorry for anyone else going through this at the moment.