3 miscarriages in a row - now what?

[Chichiya]

Hi everyone.

Ive just joined this forum and have take comfort and feel much empathy in reading some of your stories.

Im sorry if this topic has been covered several times before. If it has please feel free to direct me to an appropriate link.

Ill keep it brief. im 41 now and I've never tried to conceive prior o meeting my partner 18 months ago.

We had a miscarriage in October 2019 (blighted ovum). We lived apart for 6 months (he is not from the UK). I then moved to the USA with him for lockdown and conceived in the same month of moving there. I had a miscarriage in July. then conceived again (before my next period) and I have just lost that one too (it was induced on the 8th October as the foetus wasn't growing).

the second miscarriage was devastating emotionally as I was in the USA at the time and I didn't have access to any real health care and felt quite vulnerable.

This time round I feel like i was almost expecting it and had more of a "here we go again' response rather than any serious sadness.

So im trying to be practical and proactive this time and Ive started looking at the options available regarding testing ad treatment.

Im on a long (around 5-6 months) London NHS waiting list and as im 41 I feel that I don't have that time to wait without being proactive.

I would like any advice regarding good clinics and tests (or how to look for them). Any google searches are coming back with a massive lists of fertility clinics with no way of knowing the difference, the specialisms or any real price structure without first paying for the consultation.

For example the first clinic I called suggested a £420 package which included a womb scan and egg reserve count. The second clinic i called suggested that an ovary count didn't seem necessary as i was conceiving quickly and I was better off having a bespoke test package put together by the consultant I would see. the problem is that they usually ask for 200-300 for the consultation after which they advise on the tests and packages. it seems weird to spend 300 pounds and then be told the package prices (that you may or may not be able to afford).

Ive never had private treatment before so the above could be normal practice. I guess im saying that I don't quite know what to do about my miscarriages or how to go about it.

Any ideas on my first steps?

Many thanks in advance

Chichiya

I am very sorry for your losses. I've just had my 4th and we've had nhs tests and got no answers (I've had 2 losses whilst under the recurrent miscarriage clinic) they've just told me to keep trying, which I just don't think I can do. We're going to see Dr Shehata privately who looks at immune factors and natural killer cells.

My perception of the nhs support is it's quite limited and unless you have a specific condition that they test for - sticky blood / lupus anticoagulant, they don't know how to treat you. I've been offered nothing but I've had 3 missed miscarriages as well as an early loss - the babies have stopped growing at the same point, but they don't have the resources or expertise to treat me. Plus everything takes so long. If you have the money to go privately, I'd recommend it. There is a thread on here and lots of us have had multiple miscarriages and are going privately - a lot are seeing Dr Shehata but not all. He's at the CRP Clinic. Best wishes x