Feeling low

[TMUMSY7]

I dont really know how or why I've ended up here and dont even know what to say, I just need to know how to cope with this.

I found out at my booking scan on the 21st of September that I had a missed miscarriage. Was booked in for 4 days later for surgical management but ended up miscarrying myself the night before.
I'm struggling, im constantly on the verge of tears, i have a big family support network and my partner is great but honestly ive never felt so alone. Today has been hard, I should be 17 weeks pregnant today.

Sorry for your loss :( Its so hard. I hope you have food support around you.
I should have been 14 weeks yesterday but found out about a MMC at a scan at 9+4 and miscarried naturally at 10+4 and now still waiting for the pregnancy test to become negative.
Were you trying for long?

Good *

I'm so sorry for your loss too. We weren't trying, I was so attached to this baby already though I had a early pregnancy scan less than 3 weeks prior due to slight bleeding and seen a healthy heartbeat and was assured everything was progressing good. I dont understand how it went from that to no heartbeat.

Miscarriages are so hard to get one's head around. The shock is unreal. Have you had a negative pregnancy test yet? Will you try again soon or wait until you're feeling better emotionally? My EPU recommended the Miscarriage Association and said they have loads of helpful info on there.

Im not sure ill ever get my head around it 😭. Yeah I had a negative test 2 weeks later. Honestly I'm not sure i am in any emotional state to be thinking of trying. Ive done nothing but read online since it happened, I think I just need a place to vent my feelings and to know its normal. Im struggling with doing that in my personal life, I feel mentally and emotionally exhausted from putting on a face. Were you trying for your baby?

@TMUMSY7 I should have been 27 weeks by now, sadly it doesn't get any easier. We took a little time out due to complications and have been trying for 3 cycles now with no positive tests yet. I got very lucky and fell pregnant during my first cycle with my last pregnancy and the waiting is tough. I ended up speaking to a Councillor and it massively helped, I also found a few people on here goinf through it who also helped. Its such a horrible thing to happen and everyone is different, be kind to yourself and try and not to think of where you should be because its unsettling. My cousin was a week ahead of me and her counting means I csnt forget but it does make it harder

I also have 2 cousins pregnant, due end of jan and feb. Obviously im happy for them but it is hard to be around them. This past week has just been super hard, my emotions are just all over the place. Im sorry for your loss and I hope you get your rainbow baby soon 💗.

@TMUMSY7 thanks, just give yourself time it does get easier I promise

Hey. I really hope you’re okay. I’ve had the same thing. Found out about 3/4 weeks ago now that I’d had a missed miscarriage measuring at 6 weeks when I should have been 12. I went naturally in the end the morning of when the secondary scan was supposed to be and it was awful. I also have friends that are pregnant and around the same time as me which feels as if I will never be able to escape this feeling. I keep trying to google reasons why and I sometimes feel like I can pinpoint the reasons why but who knows. It’s just awful isn’t it. X

@Littleonefirsttime Thank you, im so sorry your feeling this way too. It does feel like there will never be an end to the pain, everything is a reminder. I done some googling to but I have no idea why, i had a small bleed a couple of weeks before and had a scan which measured slightly smaller than we thought the baby should be but there was a heartbeat and the midwife said it was a very healthy pregnancy. I could never shake the feeling of something being wrong though and I think even then, there was. It is awful, its hard to even describe it. Either lost in a chain of depressive thoughts in my mind or numb, not a lot in between. I feel like my boyfriend is back to normal life and im just stuck.

I just wanted to say that you are not alone and please don't feel that you should be 'over it' by now

@NaturalStudy thank you, it is the loneliest pain even though so many people are going through it daily.

@TMUMSY7 I just tell myself that like they say, time is a healer and it will somehow get better over time. I don’t think it’s something you get over or forget at all but you learn to live with it. For me, the silent nature of it all makes it worse. It’s just so hard to contemplate that your bodies deceived us for so long and it makes me feel anxious at the prospect of a future pregnancy. But who knows, we may have a happy ending, as so many do, and although it will never replace or compensate for what has happened it will bring happiness. It’s such a hard time with Covid too and the state of the world - try and give yourself some things to look forward to like a weekend away with your partner. It’s hard to look into the future at the moment and that can sometimes help improve your feelings in the present. Hope you’re okay xx