Questioning everything

[NCX534178]

I had a medical miscarriage yesterday after my 12 week scan showed that the foetus had died at 11weeks. I thought I was ok (pain was bearable and it was relatively quick). However, now I don't think I am. I had a plan in my head and that is gone. I am now questioning my job and if I really want to do this for the next 30years.

I am lucky to have a Dh and DC who have been amazing. We have also said we will have a reset period and then try again in the new year (2020 can get in the bin!)
I know it's probably a mixture of sadness over the miscarriage and our future plans and the never ending Covid restrictions, which aren't making anyone feel great.

This is a bit of a rant but is this feeling of despondency common after a miscarriage?

Sorry for your loss. I also had a miscarriage at 12 weeks. I can't tell you if your feelings are normal. But I can tell you I feel the same. My brain goes into overdrive sometimes thinking about what was to be, what might never be and what the future might be.

I’m sorry to hear of your loss @NCX534178. I’m the same I had a missed miscarriage in September and feel exactly the same, I recently posted on here saying the same thing as you. I also am questioning my job, my life, even so far as my relationship in my dark moments. I’ve also felt really anxious about my body, thinking there must be something wrong with me. I was originally offered counselling after the surgical management of my miscarriage and I said no, this was a month ago. I’ve rang the doctor today to ask if they are still offering the counselling and had a chat with her today, I feel a little bit better now I’ve opened to someone who is not my partner (he’s been really supportive I just feel like a burden) . I’m now waiting for someone to get back to me to sort out counselling, maybe it would be worth a try for you too? I really hope you start to feel better soon xxxx

Thanks very much for the replies. It is reassuring to know that it's not just me having these feelings. I am hoping it will pass as I know I have a great life really. Maybe counselling would help. I will have a look into it. Thanks again.

Hi everyone. I’m glad to have found this thread as I feel the exact same. We found out on Monday 5th, at 12 weeks, that our baby had died six weeks earlier too. I was due to go in for the secondary scans and to discuss medical options on the Monday just gone but I miscarried in the morning and the scans that day confirmed everything had come away.
I kind of anticipated that this week would feel like an extension of last week in terms of the emotions and everything as we had that time to try and come to terms with the loss of our baby but it doesn’t. I just feel so hollow and empty and feel pretty much the exact same as you, OP, questioning everything. I admit that life right now doesn’t help at all with everything going on but I just feel so hopeless and despondent too.
Hope you’re all taking time to rest and process everything that you’ve gone through. Nothing can prepare you for this x

I felt exactly like this after my MMC in March. I went to a very dark place, probably not helped by lockdown. I didn't want to get out of bed, couldn't eat, anxiety over my life choices, my job. Angry at my body and myself. I honestly just found the only help was the passing of time. It just got better in the end although I did become unhealthily obsessed with getting pg again. Obsessed. It was not good but I am pg again now. Midwife says I probably had some kind of mild ptsd. I was testing 6 x a day like a crazy person. But I am better now although the build up for the 12 wk scan this was torture. I probably should have talked to someone but I just couldn't. Wish you all the best OP.