Christening 5 months after a MC

[Waterisfine]

At the beginning of lockdown I had a MMC - since then I’ve been working from home and obviously limiting time spent with people. This has been both good and bad in terms of my recovery, I’ve had the space and alone time to grieve but it has also cocooned from having to ‘deal’ with any babies/ baby news.

My SIL had her baby a month after I MC. Her behaviour was very odd when we told her we were miscarrying, she invited me to her house over an hour away insisting I visit/ drive over for food, she has kept trying to visit our house with her new baby despite me saying I’m not ready. She’s asked where I’ve been and why I haven’t been to see her, or why I didn’t attend a family get together she organised. It’s all been a bit insensitive. The Christening is in two weeks time (DH is the Godfather) but I’m not sure I’m ready. It falls on the same weekend I was due to give birth.

I would prefer not to go, but I can see how that might look bad especially as it was a while ago now. I’m just very nervous seeing all my DHs family at once who I’m not very close with.

OP that sounds really hard for you.

Whilst your SIL is experiencing something that is bringing her great joy, you are going through something that is incredibly difficult and upsetting. Five months is not long to get over a MC.

I can understand that your SIL may be upset that you are not joining in her exciting moments, but it is not fair to expect you to want to jump in and join in everything.

I don't think you need to go if you don't feel ready xx

I think that until you go through miscarriage you don't really understand it, so I think she is probably totally unaware of how you are feeling. I had friends and family who had miscarried and looking back now I was not as sensitive as I think I should have been, or how I would be now having experienced it myself.

Personally, I would probably make my excuses and not go unless I was very close to the mum/dad. Don't be concerned with how it looks to others, you have to go with how you feel and if it will upset you and you're not up to it then don't go, particularly if it is a poignant date xx