Struggling to process miscarriage
Cookiess · 12/09/2020 18:53
I dont really know why im doing this. I guess its just to get it of my chest really. I had no idea I was pregnant. Im careful but it happend. I came on which was weird to start with because I dont get periods but my housemate found me collapsed on the floor and I got rushed to hospital. Turns out I was having a miscarriage. Reckon I was around 8 or 9 weeks. I shouldnt really feel anything as I didnt know and not really at the stage in life where I'm ready for kids but its tearing me apart. I cant stop crying. I talked to my old partner (recently broke up, still friends) about it because I dont really have anyone else to talk to and his response was he doesnt understand why its bothered me, and neither do I. I cant stop thinking about it. I have lost a baby before, when I was 17, so I know what to expect physically. I just didnt think mentally it would get to me this much. I just feel completely useless. I dont really know why im posting this, I think its more just so I know someone else understands what im feeling really
shreddednips · 12/09/2020 19:01
Oh OP, I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. It doesn't matter whether the pregnancy was planned or if it was early- it's what it represents to you that matters. The way you feel is completely valid and normal, and you deserve nothing but kindness and compassion, including from yourself. So don't beat yourself up about how you feel or think you're useless.
I've had two miscarriages as well and felt the same way as you. Remember that you will also be having hormonal changes too which can also make you feel rotten. I'm not dismissing you as hormonal by the way, just saying that it can make a painful situation even worse. All I can say is that what helped me was to accept my feelings and let myself grieve. If you still feel very distressed later on, some counselling might help you come to terms with it. Do you have someone in real life that you can talk to that isn't your ex?
shreddednips · 12/09/2020 19:03
Sorry, just saw that your OP said you didn't really have anyone else to confide in. I'm here to listen, and there are so many others here who will understand
Cornflake24 · 12/09/2020 21:51
@Cookiess sorry your going through this, similar to you I had a miscarriage a long time ago and then my second in July. My first pregnancy wasn't planned but my second was and iv found both incredibly difficult. Iv found alot of emotions from my first MC have came up since iv had my second and its making it alot harder, possibly the same for you.
Planned or not you had a baby inside you created it was part of you and having that taken away planned or not is going to hit you mentally.
Try and be kind to yourself and if you need someone to talk to im here.
I have an amazing husband and I still feel so lonely, no one will feel like you feel miscarriage is a lonely time x
Landlubber2019 · 12/09/2020 22:09
@Cookiess I am so sorry for your loss, I think miscarriages are so devastating and irrespective of whether the pregnancy was planned or not it hurts alot.... Take comfort where you can , you will find kindness in the most surprising places and you will find kindred spirits here.
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