Late missed miscarriage at 16 weeks - how will it be managed?

[greytminds]

I found out at a scan today that my baby has no heartbeat. I’m 16 weeks. My 12 week scan and harmony test results all came back fine and there has been no sign of any issues or anything being wrong until today - no pain or bleeding. This is my fourth miscarriage and my third mmc. I do have a two year old, who I’m so thankful for right now.

Can anyone shed any light on how this is likely to be managed? I just want it over with as quickly as possible.

@greytminds I’m so very sorry for your loss. It is by far the most painful, heartbreaking experience. I lost my boy earlier this year at 17 weeks so can share my experiences with you.

I too found out my baby’s heart had stopped and went back to the hospital the following day to take an oral tablet that softened my cervix. 48 hours later I returned to the hospital and labour was induced. My baby was born about 7 hours later.
My hospital had a special delivery suite specifically for bereaved parents which made the whole experience somewhat easier. We had the opportunity to see our baby afterwards which I am so glad that I did and the midwife took hand and foot prints and we were given a keepsake box to take home.

If you have any other questions, I’m happy to answer if I can. Again, I’m so terribly sorry for you loss.

You will be ok, I promise
Sending strength to you.

@MissyBate thank you for replying and I’m so sorry that you’ve been through something similar. I have opted for surgical management and am booked in tomorrow. I don’t have the strength to go through a delivery and I don’t want to see our baby boy in this lifeless state and likely deteriorated from being carried for some time after he died. My husband isn’t allowed to be there and I wouldn’t want to go through all that alone.

All things considered I am ok. Mourning the little boy who will never be and that this likely represents the last chance we had at being a family of four. I’m not sure I can go through this again.

@greytminds How are you doing?

Thanks for checking in @MissyBate. Not doing all that well. On the surface I probably seem fine but I am getting angry at everything and everyone. My fuse is so short and I know it’s because I haven’t had the time and space to start grieving. I don’t really know what I need to do to process this and move on.

@greytminds I’m so sorry to hear you’re struggling. It’s still very early days though and you’ve been through such a traumatic experience. Have you considered counselling? It really wasn’t something I ever thought I’d want or need but after hitting absolute rock bottom, it became a life line. Learning to talk about how I feel, how broken I was and how much I missed my boy honestly helped me move forward with my life. She validated how I felt and reassured me that I wasn’t going nuts. There were days when I honestly thought I wouldn’t make it but the sun is starting to shine again and I’m learning to live my life without my boy. You will too, you just have to hold on for dear life and know that things will get easier.