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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Sharing my miscarriage story

5 replies

JDM0502 · 27/08/2020 11:20

Hello everyone, I just wanted to come on here to share my story and to try and find some light at the end of the tunnel. I wish I was on here to share happier news but these last few days have been the worst for my husband and I. I just found out I lost my baby on Monday.

About a month ago my husband and I discovered we were pregnant. We just got married in May and moved out of state a month later. We wanted to start a family right away so when we found we were expecting our first child as soon as we moved we were over the moon. I had just gotten off the pill after our wedding, so to found out we were able to conceive right away was a great sign for us.

Being that this was our first baby, we shared the news with our immediate family and close friends only. Everything was going great. Based upon my last period, I was about 7 weeks along. I had mild symptoms and my belly immediately started to grow. What could go wrong?

As I waited patiently to go in to my first ultrasound at 12 weeks, I felt anxious, nervous, but excited. About two weeks before my ultrasound appointment, I noticed some of my symptoms started to disappear. My morning sickness went away and the tenderness of my breasts started to disappear as well. I asked other mothers to be on a Facebook group if this was normal and many women said they had mild to no symptoms at all during their pregnancy. They said I was one of the lucky ones. This was great I thought, at least I felt pretty great.

Fast forward to my ultrasound, that morning my sweet husband woke me up by bouncing on the bed. He was so excited to see his baby for the first time. I couldn't help but to feel that something was wrong though. I didn't say anything to him because I thought I was being too paranoid. All first time mothers worry about everything right?

As I laid on the table at my ultrasound, the radiologist started to go over my tummy. Everything was normal at first, my uterus looked good, my ovaries looked good and eventually she went over my sac where our precious little peanut was. We could see our baby on the screen, my heart started to race, this was good news right? I mean there was a baby in there.

As I looked closer, the baby looked a little small to me. Smaller than a 12 week old fetus would look like according to Google. I could tell my husband knew something was wrong too, he squeezed my hand and that's when the radiologist said she was going to call the doctor in because she was having a hard time finding a heartbeat. Our hearts sank.

As she left the room I immediately began to cry. What could be wrong? I felt great. The radiologist walked back into the room and told us we had to meet with the doctor in his office. He didn't even come in to the ultrasound room. That dreaded walk to see the doctor felt like an eternity, I knew something was terribly wrong at that point. The doctor came in with a somber look on his face and explained to us that we had unfortunately suffered a miscarriage. The baby possibly stopped growing at about six to eight weeks. Could it be? That's when I found I was pregnant and we were ecstatic.

The doctor first explained that what happened was not our fault, nothing we did caused this. He told us most miscarriages occur because one of the chromosomes for whatever reason, doesn't develop the way it should when the baby starts growing.

My husband and I held each other and cried. At that moment, it felt like all our hopes and dreams were lost. But the doctor reassured us that this loss doesn't mean we can't get pregnant again and most couples that suffer a miscarriage go on to have healthy babies. He said we can try again, which we plan to do so when we're ready. I got my blood results back yesterday and everything was normal. I am hopeful my husband and I can conceive again and this time we will have a happier outcome.

We are still processing the devastating news and went on little getaway to clear our head. We rented a beautiful cabin on the lake and it was a great way to grieve. We are still grieving and are now taking the next steps to miscarry. I still feel extremely attached to this baby and I don't want to let it go but I know I have to. It's still hard to believe that anything is wrong because I don't feel any pain and I still look pregnant. But I have decided to miscarry the natural way and see what happens. Please wish me luck as I go through this experience.

As I mentioned before, I just wanted to come on here to feel that I am not alone. Even though it feels like our world is ending, I know that one day my husband and I will have a bundle of joy we've been dreaming of.

OP posts:
Candyflosscrochet · 27/08/2020 16:27

Hi there
I didn't want to leave your post unanswered.
I'm sending virtual hugs to you and your husband at this difficult time.
I suffered a missed miscarriage too in June. Our little one had passed only days before our scan.
I chose the surgical option as it suited my circumstances better, but there is no right or way to deal with this...you have chosen what's right for you all.
In time, you will heal, there is light at the end of that tunnel, but your peanut was a precious part of you which will never be forgotten and that's ok to embrace it....maybe think about a way to remember, like a piece of jewelery or plant or something else that you both can memorialize it with.
You aren't alone, this is a board for many many other women who have suffered a loss and I'm sure they will respond to send their thoughts.
Please reach out and ask any questions or to rant or to just make sense of what you're feeling and going through.....someone will be there who can help.
But above all, be kind to yourselves.
Xx

makingbacon · 27/08/2020 16:34

It's a shitty time. Don't feel guilty about telling your family before the 12w scan. I did that in my first pregnancy and I lost my son far far beyond the 12 week scan and had to give birth to him and everyone knew I was pregnant by then.

I also had an MMC but got pregnant again a few months after that. Miscarriage is so common and a woman/couple shouldn't feel like they're the only ones going through this. Good luck to you and your husband Thanks

Mishmased · 27/08/2020 20:30

Really sorry for your loss. I had too had a miscarriage exactly a month ago yesterday. I was 6 weeks. Mine was sudden bleeding so I knew what was happening.
I am sad and not sure if I want to continue as I already have two kids and I had no symptoms whatsoever on both.
Look after yourself and be kind to yourselves. Wishing you both all the best.x

JDM0502 · 28/08/2020 15:24

Thank you for your condolences and I'm sorry for your loss as well. I just hate that this happens to women, it's not fair. My husband and I are going to honor our peanut by blowing up a photo that he took of me on our last beautiful trip together. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. I pray that we both get our rainbow baby one day. I know it will happen :)

OP posts:
mrsawhite · 04/09/2020 13:39

Hello

I've come on here and read your story. And could've written it myself. We went to our 12 week scan and now I'm the same situation. Hope you're doing ok x

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