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When will my miscarriage start - I'd be grateful for any shared experiences
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Janefx40 · 08/08/2020 09:19

Hello All.

I was wondering when miscarriages actually start after the embryo stops growing in early pregnancy?

I'm waiting for my first miscarriage. This is from a Frozen Embryo Transfer so we have exact dates. My hcg stopped rising properly (barely) at 5 weeks and I'm now 6w6. We had a scan on Monday with a relatively normal sized embryo and heartbeat (so a moment of hope) but then Friday's scan revealed slow growth since then. I've done a lot of reading since and we have all the indicators that this pregnancy is going to fail - low and non rising hcg, small gestational sac, small CRL, large yolk sac.

I suppose my situation is unusual because I have so much more information than most due to being under the care of a very intense fertility clinic.

I realise that many of you won't have known so much in advance but how long after the baby stopped developing did you actually miscarry? How long might the heartbeat continue when the growth is so behind?

This is such an awful situation and I just want to be able to cry and move on but I can't while I'm in this limbo.

Thank you and sorry to all of you who have been through this xxx

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Greenbks · 08/08/2020 09:32

Hi, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. so you’ve essentially had a missed miscarriage?

I had one this time last year and it was picked up at 8 weeks and they told me it could take weeks. I was mortified at that and decided to give it a week and book myself in for a medical management. In that week nothing changed, I still felt very much pregnant and threw up and then had the medical
Miscarriage. Its really a personal decision. Do you want to wait and let it happen naturalMy? Which is a lot of people’s preference. Or you can go down one of the management routes like I did,

Again sorry that you’re going through this and I hope everything goes well for you

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Feralkidsatthecampsite · 08/08/2020 09:39

Scan at supposedly 8 weeks(one smudge of pink discharge and very slight pains) exactly showed no HB and they said baby had stopped growing at 6.5..
2 days later I had 3 hours of actual labour pains and the urge to push. Caught an intact feotus that def looked 8 weeks developed to me...
Wasn't sure if the fact I have previously given birth made the mc such a mimick of actual birth..
Sorry you are having a rubbish time.

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Janefx40 · 08/08/2020 10:07

Thank you @Greenbks and @Feralkidsatthecampsite sorry you both have been through this.

It sounds as tho you both had very different experiences. I think when the moment comes I will maybe do the same as @Greenbks and give it a week to go naturally then go for some intervention.

I'm going through a kind of slow torture because we still have a heartbeat at this point but we know it's not going to keep going. I just have to wait until it stops. Most of what I've read and the nurses at the clinic say it probably won't be more than two weeks. The problem is that even tho I know what is happening I keep trying to convince myself there is hope and then going through the grief and shock again every time we hear another blood or scan result. Urghhh!

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Greenbks · 08/08/2020 23:26

That’s terrible, I’m so sorry what a horrible situation to be in. It’s completely up to you and if you need /want to wait until the heart beat stops then that’s what you should do. If you can’t take it anymore and want to go through with it after a week (like you said) then that’s ok too.

There are no words to make you feel better just that At times life can be very unfair. Good luck.

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june2007 · 08/08/2020 23:31

Didn,t happen naturally so had pill, still didn,t happen so had d&C actually not that painful. But my D&C was in feb and my mc was in October. (I am aware I am not the norm)

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Janefx40 · 09/08/2020 07:05

@june2007 thanks for sharing and sorry you had such a long drawn out miscarriage - that must have been very hard xxx

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VenusStarr · 09/08/2020 08:39

Hi @Janefx40 I'm so sorry to hear this (we were on conception thread a couple of years ago together).

I have had a similar experience twice (although we never saw a heartbeat). I had early scans around 6+3 both times. I eventually miscarried around 9 weeks for both. I didn't need any medical interventions. With my first, I was bleeding on and off for a few weeks, but with my second it, I passed a clot then miscarried the next day.

Sending lots of love ❤️

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Janefx40 · 09/08/2020 13:10

Hi @VenusStarr yes I remember you. I have had a little girl since then so good things have happened too. How are you?

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Janefx40 · 09/08/2020 13:11

@VenusStarr so sorry to hear that you have had losses too. That must have been so tough x

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VenusStarr · 09/08/2020 17:41

Thank you @Janefx40, it's been a tough 2.5 years. I've had 3 losses now, none of our investigations have shown any reasons - one consultant thought maybe its a progesterone issue, so I'm trying cyclogest - but as we also struggle to concieve in general we're going to try ivf. I'm actually having a cycle in September.

Congratulations on your little girl 💕 x

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icelollies · 09/08/2020 17:49

Sorry you are going through this, it is very hard, especially the waiting.

My natural mc took maybe 3 weeks to start and took about 4 weeks after that to complete (i.e. to stop bleeding). Those months felt like forever, especially as we were keen to try again!
I hope it is easier and quicker for you x

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Janefx40 · 09/08/2020 18:17

Thank you @icelollies for sharing and I'm so sorry you had to go through it. Hope you've had happier times since x

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Janefx40 · 09/08/2020 18:20

@VenusStarr that sounds like a really tough time. I had two rounds of IVF (ICSI) leading to my daughter and now this current round of FET.

If you have any questions about IVF feel free to get in touch although there are also great forums on here as I'm sure you have discovered xxx

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Lemondropsandgumdrops · 10/08/2020 21:51

I’m so sorry you’re going through this too :(

I had a scan at exactly 6 weeks, tiny baby seen and a heartbeat detected. All fine until I was 11+2, I had started spotting slightly and was concerned so booked a private scan. We found out baby had stopped developing at roughly 7+2, although my body obviously hadn’t realised. The following day the bleeding picked up and similarly to another poster above, I had contraction like feelings for over an hour and the feeling of something needing to come out. I’ve also previously given birth so not sure if that contributed to it.

If I had known at 7 weeks the baby’s heartbeat had stopped, I don’t think I’d have been able to continue for 4 weeks to wait to have it happen naturally if I’m honest. It really depends on what you’re comfortable with doing and how your body deals with it. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

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Janefx40 · 11/08/2020 06:36

Thank you for sharing @Lemondropsandgumdrops and I'm sorry you had to go through it too.

My clinic currently scan me twice a week so I'm likely to know quite quickly when the heart stops.

It's currently still going strong. The Dr said if she didn't know my blood results she'd think it was a healthy pregnancy. That was nice to hear in a weird way.

In reality tho the CRL is now 3-4 days behind (tho not dissimilar to my daughter at the same stage) but my hcg is still super low and the gestational sac is very small which I've read is a predictor of miscarriage. Some sources say 80-90% which is interesting.

I'm in a calmer state now and not wishing the time away. Although originally I just wanted it to be over, I now realise how sad I will be when the heartbeat finally stops. So I'm trying to just go with it and give the little bean as much time as it needs.

Thank you all for your support x

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Janefx40 · 20/08/2020 10:47

It's been 3.5 weeks since we were first told to expect miscarriage and it's finally happened. When for scan today and heartbeat has stopped. Just waiting to hear from the EPAU now. Thanks for all your advice on this thread

Xxx

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Lemondropsandgumdrops · 20/08/2020 11:15

I’m so sorry @Janefx40, look after yourself, it’s a horrible time to go through Flowers

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Janefx40 · 20/08/2020 13:37

Thanks @Lemondropsandgumdrops xxx

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