MC to follow - which option?
LemonRabbit · 04/08/2020 10:44
I had a scan last week at 7weeks - no heartbeat/no baby - Empty sac.
2nd scan on Friday to confirm and then options. It’s IVF so dates are very precise, hence why I’m so annoyed having to wait a week. It’s policy.
As far as I know, my options are...
- Natural miscarriage
- Misopristol tablets
- D&C (often now called MVA?)
Which is “best”?
My current thoughts are:
- Apparently this “blighted ovum” is the type that could go on for weeks, so not sure how likely a natural MC is. I don’t know if sac keeps growing? I’m still getting nausea as if I’m pregnant I want it over.
- misopristol - This kind of is my preferred option, but read a thread about how ppl on here are doubled over in pain vomiting.
- D&C. Not sure if this will be offered with Covid. It would get it over (tempting!) but I already feel a total lack of autonomy and I don’t know if I want to give my body over to this invasive procedure and also worried about scarring/damaging future pregnancy chances.
Any personal experiences you ladies wouldn’t mind sharing with me?
I am sorry for your losses. I’ve not had mine physically yet, just emotionally, so in a terrible state of limbo. Bit worried about what will happen next.
wannabebump · 04/08/2020 11:00
for you x
I have had an ectopic and MC although neither through IVF so my experience is a little different. I was given the option to wait for MC to happen itself, which it did but it was taking too long and my hormone levels weren't dropping fast enough, so I took medication. Yes it was rotten, but it was my preferred choice because the "recovery" was faster than a medical procedure in my eyes. X
LemonRabbit · 04/08/2020 11:24
Thanks for sharing @wannabebump.
I guess it’s rotten anyway. I feel like I’m coming to terms with the loss (it’s awful and sad! But nothing I could have done) but the physical side seems so gruelling. At least the misopristol to complete the MC seems straightforward in a medical way (although it can’t have been easy).
Just trying to work out how much more painful misopristol is than a natural miscarriage?
DaddysGirl36 · 04/08/2020 11:33
I had a natural MC. It was painful but not much different to bad period cramping. Sorry for TMI but I was shocked at the amount of blood. I had to use huge incontinence pads (a friend provided them as her Grandma used them). I also went through lots of PJs & bedding. The worst was over in a few days. Then I had a very bad experience about a week later where I was on my way up the stairs & a big lump came out of me, it was painful & forced me on all fours, it was the size of a hand & looked like an octopus. Those are the things I remember the most but I would hate any kind of intervention down there so natural would still be the way I'd go. The emotional side for me was much worse & the day I found out my baby was gone (12 week scan)
Sending love & hugs
LemonRabbit · 04/08/2020 12:10
Sorry to hear that @DaddysGirl36. I can’t even imagine the horror of getting to a 12w scan and hearing bad news. How completely awful.
I might stock up on pads (the biggest granny pads I can find!) all the options have some sort of bleeding/after procedure bleeding)
I’ve heard (Read on MN) there’s a lot of blood. I’ll be 8w on Friday so as it’s not as far along as some I’m hoping it might not be too bad. Wishful thinking maybe.
For natural miscarriage how suddenly did it start for you? It seems like it can vary hugely, but I’m supposed to start a new job on Monday. Even the people who normally work there are going back after 4 months off, so I’d feel quite embarrassed about being off in my first couple of weeks. (In theory I realise my health comes first and when I’m doubled over in pain losing lots of blood, clearly being at work won’t be possible, but I don’t want to be off needlessly either)
When your natural MC started, would you have time to realise, drive home (safely - not crashing/losing focus due to pain - I don’t care about ruining seats - leather wipes clean right?) without having a hugely mortifying situation at work?
Sorry if my question seems really naive. This is the first time this has ever happened to me (or about to happen) and I want to try to know as much/plan as much/make the best decision to manage a traumatic situation.
wannabebump · 04/08/2020 12:15
PP is right that the amount of blood was surprising, but the intensity of the cramps wasn't much worse than AF. Nothing a few paracetamol and a hot water bottle won't help with.
Mine started naturally with brown spotting, progressing to red spots quite quickly and looked exactly like AF. I found "normal" pads for "heavy" AF were fine (but I wasn't as far along as PP). I would've been able to stay at work though.
Trying to allow a natural MC may be better as it will be at your bodies own rate, medication will induce that so may make it heavier quicker. Your clinic will advise when a natural MC is no longer going to work and you have to look at options x
DaddysGirl36 · 04/08/2020 14:13
I found out at 12 weeks but the loss was consistent with 6 weeks.
It went from spotting to heavy overnight. I didn't do much for 3 days but lie on sofa/in bed due to the blood loss but I don't know many women who had it as bad as that to be honest. I took 2.5 weeks off work but that was more because of my emotional state. Realistically I think you will need some time off but it's difficult to know when it will happen - mine took 6 weeks (obvs I thought I was still pregnant at this time so it was life as normal)
LemonRabbit · 04/08/2020 18:04
Thanks for the info. I find it so helpful to know what may lie in store, even if it’s not something to look forward to.
Yes, I was hoping to avoid time off, but I think I can plan whatever I want. If my body decides differently, then that’s that!
Yeah being pregnant and then starting to bleed would be a shock. I have the opposite of that. I feel pregnant, but I now know it’s not real.
Thanks both for answering my questions x
wannabebump · 04/08/2020 18:22
Good luck OP, if you have any questions as you go through this, just ask x
Junibug · 04/08/2020 21:22
So, so sorry to hear about your loss. It's such a tough time, both emotionally and physically. Sending lots of love your way.
I had an MVA last Friday (had my 12 week scan last Monday and was told the heartbeat had stopped about 10 weeks). For me, the MVA was the option that 'appealed to to me most (not that any option sounded great to be honest). I thought that at least I would know exactly when it was going to happen and how long it would take.
Please do also me any questions and I will answer as honestly as I can. I went for the local anaesthetic option and the pain was manageable. I had gas and air and was in and out the room within 30 mins. Was on my way home about an ho it or so later. I've had very minimal bleeding since then (4 days now) and virtually no cramps or pain.
One of the aspects I personally found difficult was being asked what I wanted to do afterwards with the 'tissue' (their words, not mine). I had not prepared at all for that question and it really floored me.
It's a very personal decision I think, and everyone has their own reasons for what they choose. I don't think I would choose differently having now had an MVA and been through it.
Wishing you all the best with whatever you decide to do xx
Sallyjo27 · 04/08/2020 21:40
Hi @LemonRabbit I am so sorry for your loss 🙁
I’ve had 3 miscarriages. My first was a missed miscarriage at 7w 4d but wasn’t found until I started spotting at 9 weeks and I passed the sac at around 10 weeks naturally. It happened it between the nhs scans that were a week apart. I’d had some heavy bleeding but no cramping at all just a nagging lower back pain. A bit like when you’ve been sat awkwardly.
My second was at 5 weeks and was natural too.
My 3rd was at 8w1d and found at a private scan at 8w5d. I went to my EPU on the Wednesday and have a scan they then made me wait a week before they scanned me again and then offered treatment as they like to “double check”. So on the second visit I deceived to take the medication. By the time I’d got home I started bleeding and though this is it. I had the most awful cramps and nausea hours passed and the bleeding stopped but the cramping didn’t. 2 days later the EPU rang to see how I was. I explained that they hadn’t worked and I hadn’t passed anything they told me I’d have to wait a week before they could give me another dose. So 5 days after taking the tablets I started bleeding again. The bleeding wasn’t too bad. Then 2 days later the EPU rang and I told them I’d started bleeding and they said they won’t be able to give me any more treatment as i was bleeding and it wouldn’t be long I should miscarriage soon. Anyway that afternoon I started bleeding extremely heavily, felt faint and dizzy and was in excruciating pain. My husband took me straight to a&e. There the gynaecologist has to use a speculum and forceps to get the “tissue” out as it was stuck in my cervix causing me to bleed heavily. Honestly it was the worst pain I’ve ever gone through and I’m currently waiting for counselling as it was completely traumatic. I don’t want to scare you but I feel has I known this was a possibility then I wouldn’t have had the medication and would have gone for the surgery. 3 weeks on from visiting a&e and I’m still bleeding, I’ve only just had a negative pregnancy test too. You have to do what I right for you and I’m not sure what the surgery is like but Be prepares to wait for a week or so if the medication doesn’t work 😩. I hope you are looking after yourself and keep us updated. If you have any questions please feel free to pm me x
Northernsoul90 · 04/08/2020 22:35
Hi OP, I'm really sorry for your loss and that you are going through this. I had a mmc the same as you (blighted ovum) which was detected at 8 weeks. I decided to go for the MVA procedure as I was unlikely to miscarry naturally and wanted it over with. I had a good experience and am glad that I chose this option (MVA is different to a D and C but I wasn't offered this due to covid). I posted my experience in detail on this thread that I will link below - a few others share their experiences also. xxx
Mva experience today - graphic info** [[http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/3946732-Mva-experience-today-graphic-info www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/3946732-Mva-experience-today-graphic-infoXV1vKio=
Mva experience today - graphic info http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/3946732-Mva-experience-today-graphic-info
LemonRabbit · 05/08/2020 12:41
Thanks for posting that thread. I’m totally hating “feeling” pregnant. The MVA does seem the quickest way to end that.
Thanks for sharing your story with me. I had been leaning towards the medicated option and your experience does put me off! I realise there are potential complications with every option though and it does sound like you were a bit unlucky in that regard. I’m sorry you had such a terrible time.
Thanks for heads up about the “tissue” question. I can see why they ask, but that would totally stump me too! I’ve heard there are different anaesthetic options, although maybe that choice varies between hospitals? Did you opt for local? What were the other options?
I am sorry for all your losses ladies I don’t think I’d wish this on my worst enemy.
I sort of wish it would happen naturally. I had been leaning towards the medication to induce it but in some ways the MVA seems the quickest and although obviously invasive, short and less painful.
All this at the moment is speculation on my part...I hope I get a choice, but I suppose in my specific case they might advise one route over another.
I’ll keep you all updated. My DH has been great - he’s wants me to choose what’s right for me, but he doesn’t really know much about it, so it’s been really helpful hearing from people that have been through this, and some of you unfortunately multiple times .
BeHereNowx32 · 05/08/2020 16:43
@LemonRabbit hi again.
Hope I can follow too, as I am in the same situation. Scan to confirm next Wednesday. I hope it goes as straight forward as it can for you 😞 xx
LemonRabbit · 05/08/2020 18:06
Oh no, I’m so sorry to see you over here. 😞 I took the news at the clinic like a statue - I could hardly take it in, then spent 2 days pretty inconsolable. I’m much better now, but I’m still getting waves of grief. It’s totally gutting isn’t it.
I’m so angry at having to wait a week. If the scan had been earlier (5 weeks) or it was natural conception and maybe dates were a bit unclear I’d get the policy more. Anyway, I suppose being mad doesn’t help.Take it easy - we’ve been through a lot. We need to be kind to ourselves.
I’ll let you know what happens at my appointment on Friday. Xx
BeHereNowx32 · 05/08/2020 18:59
@LemonRabbit I know it’s really hard. I’m feeling so unwell. Probably the hormones, which I just want out my system now.
I hope you will be ok over the next few days. Take care xx
Lozz22 · 05/08/2020 23:33
I miscarried at 9 weeks last year. Wanted to do it naturally so we could keep our Little Bean. Did 4 weeks of it and it was the worse pain I've felt. Did actually think I'd passed everything a couple of days after my confirmation scan as I lost a significant amount of large sized clots. Took a test 3 weeks later and it was still positive. Told to wait a week and test again so I did and it was still positive. Went back for a scan and I still had 15mm of tissue left inside me. Dr gave me my options carry on as I was, misoprostol or D&C said it'd gone on too long for natural now. By this point I was 5 weeks in. Completely put me of a D&C when he said it might effect my fertility so I went for the tablets. Took 2 in hospital, got asked to wait half an hour in a little side room but was able to have a cuppa. Got asked how I felt and did my feel sick. Said I was fine so they let me go home. They did recommend I didn't work that day in case I bled heavily whilst driving but we compromised and I said I'd phone someone if I felt poorly. I didn't I didn't think they'd worked. No
Increase to the bleeding I was already having. No cramping whatsoever so I was all
Ready for going back for the next lot of tablets, but however on the Saturday. Picked OH up and nipped into the supermarket. Felt something move down below so quickly paid for my stuff and dashed back home. Went to the toilet and there on the toilet paper was our Baby. Maybe I was just lucky with misoprostol who
LemonRabbit · 06/08/2020 14:54
Sorry to hear that. It sounds like quite a long process. I didn’t know a natural miscarriage would be so painful. In my head that’s like a period, maybe slightly worse, but your body does it at its own rate. I’m such a newbie to all this! 😞
I’m glad the misopristol wasn’t painful for you after all the cramps you’d had though - that’s good at least after what you’d been through.
Lozz22 · 06/08/2020 15:42
@LemonRabbit I've had 4 but the one was by far the most painful. The other 3 were early ones so just felt like a bit stronger than normal period cramp. This one though was intense with what felt like contractions and they came in waves too. I think for both me and my OH it was the emotional side to it, especially as his job as a Truck driver meant he couldn't be with me whilst it was happening. It was hard for both of us knowing we were only able to talk on the phone. Thankfully the day I found out I'd lost the Baby he was sent over here so spent a couple of hours with me and the day I finally passed everything he was sent over again so we were able to reflect on things together. He did say if there was a next time then he wants me to have a D&C because it nearly killed him knowing how much pain I was in and he couldn't be with me. I think the worst thing out of everything is unless someone's being through it themselves people automatically assume within a few days or so you should be over it and totally forget about it. That really wound me up did that
LemonRabbit · 06/08/2020 20:47
What a tough time you’ve had. That must’ve been hard not having husband there too. Thanks for your message explaining it all. I feel like I’m beginning to understand more about it.
BeHereNowx32 · 07/08/2020 16:47
Hope you got the answers you needed today @LemonRabbit xx
LemonRabbit · 07/08/2020 17:51
Hi ladies. Thanks for the support over the last week.
2nd scan confirmed non-viability (as expected)
I’ve been referred to the EPU. My appointment is on Wed. With stopping ivf Med I might miscarry soon, but if not I think I’m going to try to get misoprostol.
They steered me away from surgical because of COVID and gestational sac is not very big, which ironically was my preferred option going in.
Maybe I’ll miscarry naturally or get misoprostal on Wed.
Keep your Fx for me that whatever happens goes smoothly.
Hope your appointment goes as well as it can on Wednesday @BeHereNowx32
BeHereNowx32 · 07/08/2020 19:50
@LemonRabbit thank you. I think it will go very similar to your appointment. Can’t wait to get my hormones back to normal. It’s so rubbish getting sickness now.
All the best! Xx
Janefx40 · 08/08/2020 10:27
Hi @LemonRabbit I'm so sorry to hear more about what you are going through.
Thank you for starting the thread. I'm still waiting for my miscarriage which is a horrid place to be but I know it will happen and they say probably within 2 weeks. I feel so out of control with it all so at least reading this has helped me to start making decisions for how to manage it. Makes me feel as tho I am doing something at least!
Will be thinking of you and hope things go as well as they can
BeHereNowx32 · 08/08/2020 15:38
@Janefx40 sorry your in this situation and it’s being dragged out ☹️
I’m finding today hard. I feel pregnant. I am constantly feeling sick etc. Can’t believe you can get all the symptoms when there isn’t even proper pregnancy there 😣
@LemonRabbit thinking of you too x
Janefx40 · 08/08/2020 20:03
@BeHereNowx32 sorry you've had a shit day. Me too. Spent most of the day crying and didn't even shower until 6pm!!!
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