TFMR. Need a handhold

[abcsd]

Hello, this is my first post.
I had a TFMR last year after being told my baby’s chance of having anything like a normal life was “effectively zero” and by far the most likely thing to happen was that they would be stillborn. It was really shit at the time and to be honest I’m still struggling with it.
It took a year to conceive and the only time I’ve fallen pregnant since has also ended in miscarriage (early miscarriage.)
Sometimes it just hits me how unfair it feels and how sad I am deep down about it all :-(

Hello @abcsd I’m so sorry for both of your losses I just wanted to message to say you to say are not alone in this and I’m here if you need to talk! Even though miscarriage is so common it can feel very isolating. I have no experience myself of TFMR but have recently been through a miscarriage with my first pregnancy. It is so incredibly painful and cruel and everything seems unfair. I think a lot of women who have experienced pregnancy loss feel the same way and I do seem to find comfort in hearing other women share their experiences. Take your time to grieve, be kind to yourself and know that you are not alone in your feelings. Trying to stay positive can be very hard at times! xxxx

I'm so sorry for your losses . It's really shit. I'm 40 and have been ttc for 4 years with two miscarriage one that was medically traumatic.

I cannot comprehend what you are going through it's different and probably worse, but i have the same sense of despondency especially given my age.

It sound extremely traumatic and I would speak to gp about counselling or therapy. There are some fantastic charities like Tommy's that have helped me and I am sure that there will be one specifically for TFMR.

I have also found that no one really understands what you are going through as circumstances are so unique and individual. So for me the recurrent miscarriage and secondary infertility and age limits and so on. It feels unfair on a good day and on a bad day I feel like it is a punishment.

Sending a handhold and I hope that you get your precious baby that seem to come so easily to so many.

I'm sorry for your losses. My ds had to have a tfmr and it was heartbreaking.
Life is indeed unfair. Sending hugs x

OP i admit I just had to look up the meaning of TFMR as I hadn't come across the term

I'm really sorry this happened you must be feeling all sorts right now, its not much but this little forum on here really is very supportive if you just want to rant or cry. Sometimes it can feel too much to place on those we know and love so talking to strangers can be weirdly comforting as were all in this (shit) club together, all be on different stages and terms

Thank you so much for the messages. They have really helped. It does feel good to talk about it

@cherrypiepie

I'm so sorry for your losses . It's really shit. I'm 40 and have been ttc for 4 years with two miscarriage one that was medically traumatic.

I cannot comprehend what you are going through it's different and probably worse, but i have the same sense of despondency especially given my age.

It sound extremely traumatic and I would speak to gp about counselling or therapy. There are some fantastic charities like Tommy's that have helped me and I am sure that there will be one specifically for TFMR.

I have also found that no one really understands what you are going through as circumstances are so unique and individual. So for me the recurrent miscarriage and secondary infertility and age limits and so on. It feels unfair on a good day and on a bad day I feel like it is a punishment.

Sending a handhold and I hope that you get your precious baby that seem to come so easily to so many.

I agree with so much of this message - it does feel unfair and then on a bad day like punishment. And I also agree that what people go through is so unique. The TFMR was traumatic because of the circumstances and because it was obviously much later in the pregnancy. And then like you say, struggling to conceive again. I really hope you get your precious baby xxx

@Janaih I am so sorry your DS had to go through this. It really is shit xx

@abcsd thank you so much