Looking for some wise words

[A08x]

Hiya, feeling a bit alone just now & looking to have a bit of a rant.

I found out I was pregnant in May after TTC for nearly a year, then a few weeks later I miscarried between 5 and 6 weeks. I’ve been absolutely heartbroken but also trying to remain positive by the knowledge that my husband and I can actually conceive.

My DH & I have a group of friends (all couples), and one of the couples announced their pregnancy to us all today following a private scan. I’ve been sobbing since we found out the news. I feel like such a horrible bitch, I am so happy for my friends of course and don’t expect no one else to get pregnant / have a baby while I mourn what I’ve had and lost.. but I just feel all the baby/pregnancy talk is gonna be so difficult.

There would have only been about a weeks difference between our due dates so it’s just a really shitty situation for me, but great for them of course! Only my closest friend in the group knows about our MC and I would never dream of telling the rest of the girls as I wouldn’t want to put a dampener on a such a happy time for my friend.

I just had to get it off my chest as I feel so alone and down right now, but also guilty for feeling that way 😔

Perfectly normal OP. I'm sorry for your loss. I think most of us deal with it my plastering a smile on in front of them and having a cry about it when we get home.

I'm so sorry for your loss OP
I've been in the same shoes and I know how much it hurts.

I also know how you feel not wanting to resent your friends' happy news and I think that's brave and lovely of you.

It took us a year to fall pregnant and we sadly lost that one, as well as two more after that.

2.5 years on and I thought it was just not meant to be for us.

We arranged a consultation with a fertility specialist as I was getting a bit desperate . We were so lucky that she was super wise and kind and I thought you might also benefit from her words to us:

She said please throw away your testing kits and delete your apps. Have sex when you want to because you want to and not too often (can reduce sperm quality). Look after your physical health - (reduce your caffeine and just a few less drunken parties 🎉) and mental health (do things you enjoy together, laugh and have fun).

3 months after I was pregnant and our little one is due next month.

I'm not promising you the same outcome of course but even if I hadn't fallen pregnant her advice and reassurance made me feel so much better. It was like for those months I was able to get my happiness back without it depending on seeing two lines on a stick at the end of my cycle. I was able to feel real joy for my friends with babies and share in their happy times without sadness.

For now though allow yourself to grieve as long as you need x