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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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*Warning graphic photo if miscarriage* can anyone help me identify the age of this embryo?

45 replies

Sunshine7892019 · 12/06/2020 17:48

Sorry I’m advance for the TMI photo but I had a missed miscarriage recently and had medical management in hospital.
I had some brown spotting and had scan at 8/9 weeks showing a strong heartbeat but baby was only measuring 6 weeks 6 days. This was a worry but I tried to convince myself that things would be fine. I continued to have very light spotting here and there (always brown) and ended up getting another scan at 11.5 weeks and sadly there was no heartbeat and baby was only measuring 7 weeks 5 days. However from what I’ve seen online, what I passed looks more advanced that 7 weeks 5 days. It was growing very slowly so the dates don’t necessarily indicate how far along I was if that makes sense. A midwife at the pregnancy support unit estimated that the heart may have stopped beating around 9-11 weeks. So here is my quandary, the midwives insisted that the embryo was measuring 1.3cm on the scan. I told them that what I passed certainly seemed bigger than that, I know it’s in a sac and there are clots etc etc but even still. I had an abortion as a teenager at 7 weeks pregnant and quite clearly remember what that looked like and this was certainly bigger. The midwives were really dismissive when I asked about this on the phone and they have told me that they can’t see any foetus in this image. Now to me, I know it’s started to deteriorate away but I can see a face (Two eyes, nose and mouth) at the top and at the bottom (you will need to squint for this) I can see the little stump that develop in to a leg. You can’t see it on the photo but at the time, I could also see a tiny little hand. I’m aware that grief can make us see things that aren’t there but I am quite a rational person and feel that I am not being believed. I know it’s difficult to judge size based on a photo but hopefully the hospital bedpan and sheets of toilet paper can provide some scale. Can anyone else see a foetus when looking at this image? If you had to guess, what gestation to you think this little bean is? Thanks in advance

OP posts:
sarahc336 · 12/06/2020 20:41

This doesn't bother me either, if you've had a miscarriage then chances are you've seen your embryo, I saw mine but mine was only about 6 +4 weeks so only small but I could see the cord and it's general shape etc. I guess all babies grow at different rates when it's before 12 weeks so you may have only measured a certain length but may have been more weeks etc. I'm very sorry for your loss, do you find looking at the photos useful or more upsetting? If upsetting do you think you should try and stop looking at them as much? It's a hard process going through a miscarriage, the itll always be women on here to give you support, ignore the rude comments, you clearly titles
Your post as possibly graphic so they shouldn't click on it xx

Chesneyhawkes1 · 12/06/2020 20:45

I'm very sorry for your loss.

Many, many years ago I had a termination when I got pregnant and was on the pill. I didn't have a break so no periods for me was normal. I was with an abusive partner at the time and just couldn't imagine being tied to him forever.

I was sent for a scan etc and admitted to hospital for the day. The nurse was also dismissive and said I'd need to call her as I wouldn't know when and if I passed the pregnancy. She seemed off with me which I assumed was for the decision I had made.

9 hours and quite a lot of pain later it happened and I could see everything. The sex, all the features, ears, arms, legs etc. And it was a lot larger than I imagined.

I called the nurse and her face was pure shock. And she said sorry for not giving me any pain relief. I was in shock myself and just sat on the toilet floor. Then I got up, discharged myself and left.

I always wondered how many weeks I was to be able to see all that. I know it's not the same as I made my decision and yours was forced upon you.

CoffeeDay · 12/06/2020 20:52

@recycledteenager24 Are you actually still a teenager? Anyone who has had a miscarriage won't find it graphic at all and happy to take a look if it helps OP gain closure. It's a massive shame that people like you are trying to shame women into believing that any visual image of something coming from our bodies should be "distasteful" and "disgusting" and worthy of deletion.

OP, I had a MMC at 7 weeks (discovered at 10) and mine wasn't identifiable at all. I tried to look but it was basically a tiny bean shape inside a sac and I couldn't find any features that would identify as arms/legs/placenta etc. Maybe only head and body but that was all.

recycledteenager24 · 12/06/2020 20:57

coffee my user name is irrelevant really as i'm possibly old enough to be your nan ? i've had 4 miscarriages, 1 abortion and dc also as an ex nurse i'm not squeamish at all. some people could be upset at such pictures on a pregnancy board is all i was saying. it's pretty tasteless.

Sunshine7892019 · 12/06/2020 20:58

Thank you so much for all of your supportive comments. When you’re feeling emotional, critical comments are particularly hurtful but I suppose that’s what I get for posting on such a huge forum. I only came here to post as I’d seen similar questions from ladies sharing photos and questioning whether they were miscarrying, etc. I didn’t realise this topic was quite so controversial!

OP posts:
sarahc336 · 12/06/2020 21:03

Most the users on here are lovely and you'll receive a lot of support on here but like all forums there's the odd one that seems to like to cause trouble, your post it's fine and we're here to help, take care xx

Sunshine7892019 · 12/06/2020 21:07

@recycledteenager24

coffee my user name is irrelevant really as i'm possibly old enough to be your nan ? i've had 4 miscarriages, 1 abortion and dc also as an ex nurse i'm not squeamish at all. some people could be upset at such pictures on a pregnancy board is all i was saying. it's pretty tasteless.
Maybe there was a non-pregnancy forum for me to post under but I had a look and couldn’t find one. At least 1 in 4 women have experienced a miscarriage so pregnant or not, surely it shouldn’t be a taboo. Like others have stated, I have clearly labelled the post so that those who might find it triggering can scroll on. Its incredibly rude to be called tasteless again. No offence but if you are old enough to be someone’s nan, why are you on a pregnancy forum going out of your way to tell me off?
OP posts:
sarahc336 · 12/06/2020 21:07

Hearing all your stories is also making me feel angry that why aren't miscarriages taken more seriously, if people are able to see their embryos face or legs etc then it's quite a trauma isn't it. I know that for several months after my loss I felt I kept re living seeing mine, it felt worse as I was in the loo at work at the time so just didn't know what to do. Miscarriage is a massive thing and is women should be speaking more openly about it I say xx

JacobReesMogadishu · 12/06/2020 21:11

@Sunshine7892019 there is actually a miscarriage board on here. I’m going to report this post to flag it up to mnhq and hopefully they could contact you to ask if you want this post moved to there?

Sunshine7892019 · 12/06/2020 21:12

Sorry you had to go through that @sarahc336 it sounds like a truly horrible experience. I think that’s exactly it, it’s a trauma that isn’t acknowledged properly at all particularly if you weren’t well prepared.

OP posts:
JacobReesMogadishu · 12/06/2020 21:14

And here’s a link to the miscarriage section in case you wanted it.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage

But don’t worry that you posted it in this bit, it doesn’t matter.

Sunshine7892019 · 12/06/2020 21:22

Thanks you for taking your time to reply @TLBftm @Furbabymum15 @sarahc336 @Isthisfinallyit @gracex4 @thecognoscenti your messages have really helped me. I’m so sorry to hear of your experiences of loss too.

@Chesneyhawkes1 that sounds truly traumatic. I really hope you got the support you needed afterwards. I don’t think it changes the trauma because it was your choice, if anything I imagine that made the whole scenario even more horrible for you. Sorry you had to go through that.

OP posts:
Sunshine7892019 · 12/06/2020 21:24

Thanks @JacobReesMogadishu I really don’t know how I missed that!! Can I move the thread myself?

OP posts:
Sunshine7892019 · 12/06/2020 21:27

Never mind, it looks like thread has been moved for me from the pregnancy section to the pregnancy loss section 👍

OP posts:
Minniee · 12/06/2020 22:03

I'm so sorry for your loss OP, and all those others who have experienced the same.

Ignore people who have clicked despite your clear title.

If anyone can advise you on here, I hope it helps you Thanks

Sunshine7892019 · 12/06/2020 22:55

Thank you @Minniee hopefully some others will share their thoughts when I am able to upload. Many thanks 😊

OP posts:
FoxtrotSkarloey · 12/06/2020 23:03

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ.

Butterflykiss00 · 12/06/2020 23:07

I'm so sorry for your loss sunshine, if you would like to message me a picture I could post it for you x

steppemum · 13/06/2020 09:21

Sunshine, I never saw the foetuses I passed, but for each one it was a baby I passed, never a bunch of cells, clots etc. That was my much wanted baby, and it was gone, even the very early ones.

There is a tendancy to dismiss women's feelings over early mc because it is so early it is not considered to be a 'real' baby. But for me it was, completely, and I grieved that loss.

Flowers
Butterflykiss00 · 15/06/2020 22:44

@sunshine
I've replied to your mail xx

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