advice about likely miscarriage please

[splishsplosh]

I should be 11 weeks pregnant today, but have been bleeding since Thursday evening - started brown, then red, moderate amount, like a medium period. I have pretty constant mild lower tummy pain, like period pain, and sometimes my lower back aches too. I haven't passed any clots as far as I know, just a few tiny bits of tissue.

I saw the GP Friday morning, and they have to fax a referral to the epu for s scan - still waiting to hear about it.

Is there any point going to the hospital? The pain is no worse than a period at the moment, but if it gets worse, I only have paracetamol in the house as I'm breastfeeding. The midwife said if I started bleeding really heavily with big clots I should go, and they could do an emergency scan, but what else would be likely to happen.

If (as seems pretty certain) I'm miscarrying - what happens once you have a scan showing no heartbeat? How long do you usually have to wait for them to do d&c or medical management? Do they always offer a choice?

I don't think I want to do it natuarally if I can help it - I think I would probably opt for ercp - do you have to stay in hospital?

Just want to be prepared really.

Also how were people's dh/dps? My dp doesn't even seem to remember that this is happening to me... in the morning I have to remind him as he doesn't even ask what's happening or how I am. I said I couldn't believe he couldn't remember his baby was probably dying, and he said it's not a baby, it's only a foetus. But he was looking forward to dc2 more than me - I had more worries about it than him, so I find this hard to understand.

sorry to hear your news splish splosh
can't answer all of your questions - my m/c happened naturally. Make sure you get plenty of rest and look after yourself.

hi splishsplosh. Sorry to hear about your news. I had a m/c a few years ago. I went to A&E with bleeding, was scanned and was immediately admitted to hospital for a D&C. It was only an overnight stay and the op itself was very quick. Like you, I felt I wanted it all over with as quickly as possible.

my dh was pretty good before and during but didn't do or say much about it after I came home.

So sorry splish splosh. I can't answer questions about d&c as with me it happened naturally before this was necessary. However, I would say that it is a good idea to go to hospital if the pain gets worse - I was in hospital overnight.

sorry to hear this, although bleeding is not always a sign that you are definitely miscarrying, you can bleed for no reason.

phone your gp tomorrow if you hear nothing.

if you would rather have the erpc, they can book you in for that after the scan... it will depend on hospital waiting times how quick they can do it!

it is day admission for erpc, you'll be home that night!

hth

and answering your question about your dh, my dp didn't forget but he didn't cope with the emotional side of things too well...

splishsplosh I agree - unless your doc confirms a mc, I wouldn't make any conclusions. There are plenty of women on MN who'd tell you that they bled well into their pg and went on to have healthy babies.

However, given your mention of breast feeding I believe you have a little one? That was our situation. We have a 19 mnth old so I felt like I couldn't go naturally, it was too risky for us. For example, what if something happened in the middle of the night. So my scenario was like this:

Went for a regular scan when I was suppose to be 8 wks 5 days pg. Found out no HB (that's how we learned I was mc'ing). The pg measured at just over 7 wks. Most likely (and that's what probably happened) the baby died a wk before. But they wanted me to wait for another wk, just in case my calculated dates were off, and the baby was younger than we thought, so that why it wouldn't yet be a HB.

I came back in a week and mc was confirmed. By then I started with very light bleeding and mild period like pains. I was scheduled for a D&C for the next morning.

I got to the hospital at 8 am, I was taken to the OR at 8:30 am. I had MAC (similar to the general anesthesia, it's a standard at my hospital). When I woke up (of course I didn't feel/ remember anything) - they gave me a cup of coffee and some cookies and I went home at 11:30 am that morning.

Hope this helps IF you need this info but PLEASE remember, you baby might be just fine. You need to see a doctor.

As far as DH - it was a turmoil. He was VERY much looking forward to this baby. Then went on to tell me that he would never put me through this experience (meaning mc) and we won't try again... and now we're trying . Men~ You can never understand them.

GOOD LUCK!!!

Have miscarried, am in middle of losing it naturally - have to go back in a week to see how things progressing. Really hope don't have to wait and then end up still having to have op. Want it all over asap.

Sorry to hear your news Splish Splosh. I hope you are feeling ok, it sounds like you got the news you were expecting. I've had a m/c myself and the waiting for things to happen is the worst bit. However it will be over soon. I hope your DP is making you lots of cups of tea and looking after you.

splishsplosh, I am really sorry about your loss. I can completely sympathize with your desire to have it all over. As I mentioned, I had a D&C and it wasn't bad at all. I also think it helped the bleeding to stop much quicker than what my girlfriends have experienced after a natural mc... not saying it's the rule but seemed to work for me.

Take a good care of yourself!

Splish Splosh so sorry to read what has happened. I hope you are OK, if you aren't happy with leaving things then ring and ask to arrange for ercp, you should be able to have that within a week.

Big hugs

Splishsplosh I'm so sorry to hear this - I should be about 11 weeks too now, but mc'd about 5 weeks ago .

I did it naturally - it was nowhere near as bad as the hospital had told me it would be pain-wise/bleeding-wise, but emotionally it was pretty rough.

My DH was brilliant - a real rock for me at the time, although wierdly when he went with me for a scan a couple of days after it had started and saw the sac with no heartbeat he said that helped him a lot to understand that this was real, and for him it was 'sort of like seeing the corpse when someone you know dies'. I think that helped him to deal with the fact that we had really lost the baby.

I really hope it all goes ok for you - and like others say, until a scan confirms you're definitely miscarrying anything is possible! Good luck!