Hi there, firstly sorry for your loss and that you find yourself here. Any sort of MC is horrible, but a MMC is even worse because of the time between the actual demise and the discovery of it.
You are exactly right in that it is not unusual for symptoms to start to recede around the 9w mark. This is very similar to what happened to me in that the start of the week that heralded my MMC, I felt my symptoms decrease a lot. On Tuesday there was a HB, on Easter BH Friday I had a heavy bleed and after getting a private scan on Saturday, it was confirmed I had MCd. I should have been at the 10w mark, HB had stopped somewhere 9+w. I was 'lucky' in that the bleed clued me in to something not being right.
This was back in April and I was able to get an ERPC by the following Wednesday - this would likely have been sooner had it not been the EBH meaning that EPU was still shut on the Monday. In terms of what options are available at the moment, it all depends on your individual Trust. With measures increasingly becoming more relaxed, the surgical option may now be once again available when it was not before. I was petrified I would not be able to have surgery and yet it was still being offered.
In your situation, you will have this discussion with your EPU who will confirm what is available. The three options are expectant management (wait to see if your body passes it naturally), medical (pills to encourage contractions and to induce the above) or surgery. As to which is right for you, that is a personal choice. For me, I just wanted to move on ASAP and could not bear the thought of having to pass the tissue at home, which is why I knew I had to have surgery.
Just a note on the surgery as you have mentioned it yourself - if you know you want this and they will not offer it you, because of COVID, I advise you make contact with BPAS (British Pregnancy Advisory Service) who are still able to.
Not to be horrible, but as you asked, your body will not return to 'normal' until you have passed the tissue because your hormones are still indicating that you are pregnant. I know it's horrible, but biology is cruel, and unfortunately your body has not recognised your loss yet.
I advise before Monday, that you visit the Miscarriage Association webpage to read up on the different options, and think about what you would like to ask for when you speak with your EPU. It is hard, but you also need to advocate for yourself and what you want.
I was in a very similar position to yourself nearly two months' ago now - it was also my first pregnancy. I know you're in shock right now, and experiencing a spectrum of emotions, but I want to tell you will get through this xx