Feeling low.

[Stabal]

This is the first huge dip in my mood since my mmc where it's probably all hitting home, since I've just recently stopped bleeding. This will sound stupid but our landing has a dodgy floorboard that dips and I tripped on it the other day and the carpet took a large chunk of skin off a toe and I've been so upset about it ever since because me and my partner talked about getting it fixed before the baby came. All these ridiculous little things messing with my head. Why can't I be the girl that gets the baby 😢

I had surgical management for a MMC on Tuesday and just wanted to let you know I feel the same. I’ve been surprised how up and down I feel - a lot of the time I feel the best word is numb, I feel a lot less of anything than I would have expected considering the pregnancy was very much wanted and it had taken us a little while to conceive. But then suddenly it just hits me and I want to cry - why can’t I get pregnant first month, why can’t I carry it to term...? How long will it take us to have an actual baby? What if this happens next time?

I also get what you mean about the floor being fixed before baby came - things like our 12 week scan date and the due date will be tough now, thinking about how we could have told everyone and how excited they would be. We were going to move house before the due date and now there’s no rush...

I think there’s a lot of hormonal adjustment as well which can suddenly hit you with huge emotions out of nowhere. It’s one reason why I’m considering taking next week off work too even though right now I feel fine and am fine physically, you just don’t know how you’ll feel in the next hours or days.