Missed Miscarriage - 2nd period late & dealing with others becoming pregnant around you

[Nic2104]

Hi,
Hoping someone can help with this?
I had my MMC on April 1st at 9 weeks, got my first period after 26 days, period before were 28 days. Had extremely heavy bleeding for 14 days, a two day break, then bled for 5 more days. Apps currently saying I am 9 days late? Has anyone ever encountered this? Almost afraid to take a test as the fear of being negative is overwhelming.

Also since mmc two close relatives have announced their pregnancy. One being the first pregnancy in the family (didn’t tell my family I was pregnant or about mmc) and I’m just wondering has anyone any tips on how to manage the grief of your baby when everyone is so happy and don’t know that you are hurting?

Thanks

I’m afraid I can’t advise on the bleeding as I didn’t experience that with my MMC, but I absolutely understand the pain of those around you announcing pregnancies. Is there a reason you haven’t told your close family? I found talking about it, as painful as it was, meant otherwise understood why I didn’t want to be around baby conversations.
Be kind to yourself, it’s ok to need to give yourself space to grieve. It’s a horrible, lonely grief, but I did find talking to those who had been through it therapeutic.
Sending you

I also would encourage you to tell at least one friend or family member beyond your partner. I had already told my mum and sister as we’re staying with my parents during lockdown so couldn’t really hide that I was avoiding alcohol etc. But it meant when I had my MMC two weeks ago I obviously had to tell them. Normally I’m a very private person and probably wouldn’t have told anyone, but it was so good to have people who just understood, could check I was ok after the surgical procedure etc. They also understood I didn’t want to talk about it loads but it was nice knowing that they know. It made me brave enough to tell a couple of friends both of whom have been very supportive. I’d definitely try and bring it up with someone - I found it easier to put in a message rather than try and insert it into conversation.

Apart from that I think time is the only healer - I have lots of friends due this autumn and am quite glad that lockdown means I can avoid them and their bumps... I’m very jealous and angry that they’ve all had healthy pregnancies and I’m still waiting for mine. I think you also need to acknowledge and accept the anger and hurt and envy rather than feeling guilty about it.

Forgot to say, another reason to mention it to someone is you’ll find out so many people have also had this experience that you didn’t know about - I already knew my mum had had a miscarriage, but since this experience have also found out about my grandmother, two aunts, and a friend. It can help you feel less alone, and also more positive as almost everyone goes on to have one or more healthy pregnancies after.